Play matchmaker or butt out

[Anonymous]

Just returned from a three week holiday visiting loved ones in my native country. Our nanny came with us to help manage the kiddos. While there she and my cousin seemed to hit it off. Now I must say nanny was very professional the entire time, but I am a woman and I have eyes and could clearly see they were attracted to each other, and enjoyed spending time together.
This cousin is due for a visit in a little over a month. I want to play matchmaker. Now my cousin in the past has been a relationship hopper, but has recently started to settle down. Don't get me wrong he's a good guy, and I think my nanny is wonderful and exactly the kind of girl for him.
I think I think they'd be a brilliant match, and want to fan the flames a bit.
My husband things I should leave it be.
I've also been advised by a good friend and colleague who is also an MB that I risk offending our nanny.
I don't want to upset her she's a fantastic person and nanny, and has been with us since before our twins were born nearly two I years. I wouldn't want to lose her. At the same time I know sometimes you need a little push its how I met my DH.
Nannies would you be offended if your MB attempted to play matchmaker?
Should I just leave it?
If you think I should give it a try how would you go about time? I was thinking of suggesting her to "help set up his itinerary " for his visit"
Thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Your cousin is coming to visit. If they have a genuine connection, the fact that they'll have a chance to talk again should suffice. There's nothing more for you to do. Let them pursue things quietly if they so choose. I assume your nanny would not want to discuss it with you initially anyway.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Stay out of her love life.

[Anonymous]

My grandfather, then a widower, married our nanny when I was a kid. They had a happy, wonderful life together and it kept my beloved nanny in my life until her death.

I so approve of nanny-family member relationships!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather, then a widower, married our nanny when I was a kid. They had a happy, wonderful life together and it kept my beloved nanny in my life until her death.

I so approve of nanny-family member relationships!

So sweet! My father has a "crush" on our lovely, older nanny. However my mother is still very much in the picture...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your cousin is coming to visit. If they have a genuine connection, the fact that they'll have a chance to talk again should suffice. There's nothing more for you to do. Let them pursue things quietly if they so choose. I assume your nanny would not want to discuss it with you initially anyway.

This. The extent to which you could intervene would be on the side of your cousin ("I'm pretty sure nanny is single. Hint hint.") but saying anything to or in front of nanny puts her in a really awkward position.

[Anonymous]

Your cousin lives in another country. That's a pretty major hurdle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your cousin is coming to visit. If they have a genuine connection, the fact that they'll have a chance to talk again should suffice. There's nothing more for you to do. Let them pursue things quietly if they so choose. I assume your nanny would not want to discuss it with you initially anyway.

This.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the feedback! Looks like the consensus is to hold back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your cousin lives in another country. That's a pretty major hurdle.

that's what I was think and if they had a kid together it would add a whole new layer of complication where one of them was stuck in a country they may or may not want to live in long term or they have a nasty breakup and one kidnaps the kid and goes overseas etc. no way would I date someone from another country. But then maybe I'm jaded because my sister married a Turk and it ended very very badly.

[Anonymous]

This is such a joke or a nanny posting pining on her employer's relative.
No MB over age 25 would bother writing or posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your cousin is coming to visit. If they have a genuine connection, the fact that they'll have a chance to talk again should suffice. There's nothing more for you to do. Let them pursue things quietly if they so choose. I assume your nanny would not want to discuss it with you initially anyway.

This.

Another total agreement with this.

These are adults - let them decide how, or whether, to pursue anything.

Don't lose sight of the fact that you are the boss, not a friend, of your nanny. Don't put her in any uncomfortable situations, don't make any representations on her behalf to your cousin, etc... Don't get in their way if it happens to turn into something but DO NOT make it your business to matchmake.

If you need a reason to hold back, try to imagine any number of scenarios where the relationship doesn't work out, and then imagine having to still be your nanny's boss through that, manage family dynamics if feelings are hurt, manage any fall-out from having encouraged something that didn't work, trying to walk back into a more professional relationship after having gotten more involved on a personal level with the nanny, etc...

So very many reasons why you should stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

If she winds up deciding she's not into him, it makes it awkward to distance herself from him if you pushed her into things. So for that reason, I'd butt out.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and am single as well and would be quite flattered if my boss thought I was a suitable catch for one of their family members.

However, I wouldn't want them to personally meddle in playing Cupid since that is my personal life and I don't like to mix business with pleasure.

Stay out of it and let things evolve organically. Or not.

Because if they DO get together and end up breaking up later on, you wouldn't want that awkward conflict of interest down the road.

[Anonymous]

Update?