Canceling interview? Worried about negative feedback on care.com

[Anonymous]

I applied to a job listing on care.com two weeks ago. A few days later, she got back to me and said "We'd love to meet you and are doing interviews next Sunday." I responded the next day, saying "I'm sorry but I have plans to spend that day in Baltimore with my Aunt, so next Sunday does not work for me. Is there an evening this week that works for you? I can also do Saturday morning." (That was sent Saturday night.) She responded late Monday night, saying they could do Wednesday at 6:30pm, but that was the one night that now did not work for me (I had been asked Sunday night by a good friend who is in town this week from NY what night I could do dinner, and we made plans for Wednesday at 6pm; when I asked her Tuesday morning she said she could not reschedule as she now had plans Tuesday night and was heading back Thursday evening).

At that point I was starting to feel bad of course; they were trying to make it work for me and then the one night they say they can, I can't. I figured that if I asked to reschedule again they would just say forget it and go with someone else, but I didn't want to just leave them hanging. So I said, Tuesday afternoon "I'm very sorry but I can't do Wednesday. I can do Thursday, Friday, or Saturday morning, or next week." She responded right away and said "let's do Saturday at 8am." And I responded right away to confirm.

Well, last night, I got a call from a family I had interviewed with last week, and they offered me the job. They've been my first choice since the beginning (I applied to three jobs at the same time, but the other two families were much quicker to get back with me and scheduled interviews right away), but I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket, because I wasn't certain I'd get the job. Well, I've accepted their offer, and I'm starting with them next week. But now I don't know what to do about the family who is expecting to meet with me tomorrow morning. I've been sitting here trying to write a message to them for the last couple hours, but I don't know what to say exactly...

Part of me feels like I should just go to the interview. If I cancel now, at the last minute, after having rescheduled so many times, I'm worried they'll feel like I was just jerking them around, and might leave me a negative care.com review. I don't have any reviews on my care.com profile; I have a ton of great reviews on sittercity, but I don't have any on care. Even though I prefer sittercity in many ways, care does seem to have more jobs, and often better paying ones, too, so I'd like to be able to use it in the future. I honestly think it might be better to just go to the interview (either they don't offer me the job anyway, or if they do I can just say that I don't think we'd be a good fit after all), and I definitely would, except for the facts that it is at 8am on Saturday (when I said I could do Saturday morning I was expecting they'd say 9 or 10am, not 8!), and they also live rather far from me (which is one of many reasons that this family was not my first choice to begin with).

Should I be concerned that they might leave me a negative review for rescheduling the interview twice and then canceling? Should I just go to the interview? Or should I just email them now, the night before my scheduled interview, to say I'm incredibly sorry but I was offered a job by another family last night so I'm canceling for tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

After all that, I would say you owe then an interview. Just use it as practice. When/if they offer you the job you can turn it down in a very polite email later lying that the job you accepted is closer to your house or you have known the family for years - something. Thank them and tell them how great their kids are and ask to be put on their date-night babysitting roster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After all that, I would say you owe then an interview. Just use it as practice. When/if they offer you the job you can turn it down in a very polite email later lying that the job you accepted is closer to your house or you have known the family for years - something. Thank them and tell them how great their kids are and ask to be put on their date-night babysitting roster.

I would do this as well. Sounds like the most diplomatic way.

[Anonymous]

I would go to the interview because the other job could fall through. You just never know. Never hurts to go to an interview.

[Anonymous]

Let me see if I understand. At this point you have both invested a grand total of about 5 minutes exchanging some emails and you are concerned about having wasted their time. So, now you want to go to a 2 hour interview with them when you have every intention of declining any offers which may come. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I understand. At this point you have both invested a grand total of about 5 minutes exchanging some emails and you are concerned about having wasted their time. So, now you want to go to a 2 hour interview with them when you have every intention of declining any offers which may come. Nice.

I am so sorry OP's post went over your head, PP. Let me explain - the right thing to do is go through with an interview that these employers want. They have rearranged their lives to meet OP and she should meet with them. It is simply the right thing to do so that there are no hard feelings and no bad reviews from which OP will have no recourse. DIPLOMACY is key in the digital age.

[Anonymous]

Decline interview now via email or call.
Don't waste someone's Saturday morning or time. Plus you could be bumping ithe nannies who don't have s job or accepted offer.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would not want you to come to an 8 am interview when you're not available to work.

I suggest you email them immediately and say "I'm very sorry but I have accepted another offer for a position I had interviewed with last week. I really appreciate you having worked so hard to find a time to meet with me, and I didn't know I would be getting this other offer so I had been looking forward to meeting with you. At this point however, it would seem dishonest to go through with an interview knowing that I had already accepted another position. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience and I hope you find a terrific nanny for your family. Thank you for considering me."

They may be aggravated, but less aggravated than spending time with you and maybe even thinking you were a solution, only to find out you had misled them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I understand. At this point you have both invested a grand total of about 5 minutes exchanging some emails and you are concerned about having wasted their time. So, now you want to go to a 2 hour interview with them when you have every intention of declining any offers which may come. Nice.

I am so sorry OP's post went over your head, PP. Let me explain - the right thing to do is go through with an interview that these employers want. They have rearranged their lives to meet OP and she should meet with them. It is simply the right thing to do so that there are no hard feelings and no bad reviews from which OP will have no recourse. DIPLOMACY is key in the digital age.

"The right thing to do" is to waste another couple hours of their time with no intention of ever possibly working for them. Right, great job! The DIPLOMATIC thing to do would be to email and tell them thank you so much for trying to fit me in for an interview, but I just got offered a job for a family I interviewed with earlier and it seems like a perfect fit so I have accepted that and wish you luck on your future nanny search! Get a clue woman!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I understand. At this point you have both invested a grand total of about 5 minutes exchanging some emails and you are concerned about having wasted their time. So, now you want to go to a 2 hour interview with them when you have every intention of declining any offers which may come. Nice.

I am so sorry OP's post went over your head, PP. Let me explain - the right thing to do is go through with an interview that these employers want. They have rearranged their lives to meet OP and she should meet with them. It is simply the right thing to do so that there are no hard feelings and no bad reviews from which OP will have no recourse. DIPLOMACY is key in the digital age.

"The right thing to do" is to waste another couple hours of their time with no intention of ever possibly working for them. Right, great job! The DIPLOMATIC thing to do would be to email and tell them thank you so much for trying to fit me in for an interview, but I just got offered a job for a family I interviewed with earlier and it seems like a perfect fit so I have accepted that and wish you luck on your future nanny search! Get a clue woman!

We are talking about NOT angering an employer to keep a good recommendation on a valuable online source where there is no recourse when a parent writes a bad review.

Please, dear, God, learn to read. The title of this thread is "worried about negative feedback on care.com". Diplomacy is called for.

I have no problem with you disagreeing with me but I have all the "clues" in life I need. Thanks anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I understand. At this point you have both invested a grand total of about 5 minutes exchanging some emails and you are concerned about having wasted their time. So, now you want to go to a 2 hour interview with them when you have every intention of declining any offers which may come. Nice.

I am so sorry OP's post went over your head, PP. Let me explain - the right thing to do is go through with an interview that these employers want. They have rearranged their lives to meet OP and she should meet with them. It is simply the right thing to do so that there are no hard feelings and no bad reviews from which OP will have no recourse. DIPLOMACY is key in the digital age.

"The right thing to do" is to waste another couple hours of their time with no intention of ever possibly working for them. Right, great job! The DIPLOMATIC thing to do would be to email and tell them thank you so much for trying to fit me in for an interview, but I just got offered a job for a family I interviewed with earlier and it seems like a perfect fit so I have accepted that and wish you luck on your future nanny search! Get a clue woman!

We are talking about NOT angering an employer to keep a good recommendation on a valuable online source where there is no recourse when a parent writes a bad review.

Please, dear, God, learn to read. The title of this thread is "worried about negative feedback on care.com". Diplomacy is called for.

I have no problem with you disagreeing with me but I have all the "clues" in life I need. Thanks anyway.

Yea if you are worried about bailing on an interview just see what happens when they find out you already accepted another offer. "I'm worried about getting negative feedback, so I'm going to dick around with them and waste their whole Saturday morning."

[Anonymous]

OP here. After the first post I thought "she's right, I should go," but when I read what 19:58 wrote, it was worded so perfectly, and sounded like exactly what I wanted to say, so I copied, pasted, edited and sent it.

Other posters did make a good point which I had considered also: is wasting even more of her time the right thing to do? It's bad enough for me to have to get up early and waste gas and time driving over there, but certainly a huge inconvenience for her as well I'm sure (not to mention that I'd feel uncomfortable meeting her toddlers knowing I won't be working with them).

Thank you so much everyone, but especially 19:58!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. After the first post I thought "she's right, I should go," but when I read what 19:58 wrote, it was worded so perfectly, and sounded like exactly what I wanted to say, so I copied, pasted, edited and sent it.

Other posters did make a good point which I had considered also: is wasting even more of her time the right thing to do? It's bad enough for me to have to get up early and waste gas and time driving over there, but certainly a huge inconvenience for her as well I'm sure (not to mention that I'd feel uncomfortable meeting her toddlers knowing I won't be working with them).

Thank you so much everyone, but especially 19:58!

19:58 basically copied what I said, so I will accept this thank you.

[Anonymous]

19:39 post put some sense into people.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't attend the interview if you already have accepted another job offer. It would be a waste of both your time and the family's. Why would anyone do such a thing? Plus you would be getting up extra early on a Saturday morning and traveling significantly since you mentioned that they do not live close by.

I would write them a message and let them know you have already accepted another position.

I would also include a sincere apology to them as well. Thank them graciously for being so flexible regarding interview times and let them know you feel bad about having them accommodate you so much. Wish them only the best in their nanny search and try not to burn any bridge with them.

They may or may not write a bad review on Care.com. It is really beyond your control. Just stay as nice as possible and try not to anger them.