Pay advances?

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny who has recently asked for a lot of advances on her pay? How do you deal with this? It's really tight for us so it's going to be very hard but we love our nanny and want to help out. One time was fine but it's now happened several more times. She's the sole breadwinner and sends all money home (she's from another country but is legal).

[Anonymous]

DOn't do it. This is almost always a bad idea, and it's usually the start of a downhill slide. It puts you in the position of being a loan provider routinely, puts the nanny always behind in her work relationship, and creates an extremely bad dynamic.

It's exceedingly poor judgment on the nanny's part and I would take that as a very bad indicator of her reliability and judgment overall.

One time in a crisis - maybe. Repeatedly - no. Bad bad idea.

It's much harder to stop doing than to say no from the start, of course, so it won't be easy, but you really need to end it.

[Anonymous]

How does she ask and how much have you given her ? Is she currently in the whole with you ?

[Anonymous]

only done this twice a year. citing YOUR budget and paycheck timing should help remind her that it's not all about her, her bills, her sending money home, etc. you are paid to do a job, not paid more or ahead of time to blow your personal budget.

[Anonymous]

I would never do this. Never, ever, never.

[Anonymous]

While I appreciate your concern for your nanny's well-being, you also must take into account you have your own well-being and your family's as well to consider.

I think your nanny is taking advantage of your kindness. An advance in pay should only be used for extreme emergencies...Not something done on a regular basis.

Kindly let her know that while you would love to help her out in hard times, it is straining your pocket book as well to advance her monies. If she balks, tough cookies. For her.

[Anonymous]

How long has she been helping you, OP?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and would NEVER ask for a pay advance

[Anonymous]

I can see moving her pay day up to Mondays, instead of Fridays, so that she's being paid for the week ahead rather than the week she just completed. But several advances aside from that? No, that's no good. Pay day advance companies are available and if she really feels that's what she needs, then she should take on the risk by going to them, rather than having you take on the risk for her.

[Anonymous]

I know it's hard to stop once you've agreed, but you need to have a conversation with her.

Before you do, decide for yourself what you're comfortable with: no advances at all? pay ahead for the week? up to $x?

And then be sympathetic and kind, but communicate what your limits are. If she gets mad, she's not right for your household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and would NEVER ask for a pay advance

+1000

This might be yet another case for hiring an American Nanny. We know enough about what is and isn't appropriate to not put our nanny families into such an awkward position.

[Anonymous]

Employers do not give pay advances to employees in the real work world. Nor should nannies get pay advances.

[Anonymous]

It's true...I'm all about immigration and see nothing wrong with hiring people from another country, but very few American nannies would even think of asking for a pay advance. It just isn't done here! Don't know what to tell you OP, you should have said no from the beginning. You'll have to tell her you were fine with helping out a couple of times but your budget doesn't allow you to pay her in advance more than that.

[Anonymous]

This is easy. Never, no way, no how.

[Anonymous]

How much are you paying your nanny?
When I was a newer nanny I had to ask a few times. I should have just found another job. I wasn't making anything, and was working too much to take a second job.