Should I say anything?

[Anonymous]

MB and DB are lovely people, but they have a terrible diet. They literally eat fast food on a (nearly) daily basis. Obviously what they eat doesn't matter, but I'm feeling uncomfortable about the choices they make for their children. They have twins that are 16 months old. They feed them: canned fruit that contains high fructose corn syrup, frozen breakfast waffles with syrup (also high fructose based) and fried hash browns almost every morning, peanut butter with hydrogenated oils, etc. At one point, they actually fed their kids peanut butter that listed trans fat on the label. It bothered me immensely, so I pointed it out, and asked them to get trans fat free peanut butter. They did find a brand that lists 0 grams trans fat, but it still has hydrogenated oils in it. I had requested that they get Quaker oatmeal so I could make the kids oatmeal, but they brought home the instant "reduced sugar" brown sugar flavor kind with artificial sweeteners inside (I was expecting, you know, plain oats). I requested applesauce for the kids and they brought home a kind that lists high fructose corn syrup as the second ingredient. They've recently started feeding them yogurt covered raisins as their daily afternoon snack--isn't that considered a choking hazard at this age? DB said something like "they love them; we can't keep enough in the cupboard; that's one way to get them to eat their fruit!" Foods like that might be okay once in a while, but this is the bulk of their diet

I considered offering to do the grocery shopping, but MB has told me that it is impossible to shop with them because none of the grocery stores here have carts that accommodate two kids in the top (and they are too heavy to be worn at this point and hate it anyway), and they do not sit down when asked so it's unsafe for them to be in the back of the cart). MB told me that usually she will stay home with the kids so DB can go shopping or vice versa, because it's so impossible with them both right now.

They've been very nice and accommodating of my requests (they've tried to accommodate at least), but I'm worried that maybe it's just too much for me to tell them please don't feed your children anything with high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, artificial sweeteners or colors, etc, and I'm sorry but yogurt raisins are more like candy than an acceptable every day snack. Obviously I do the best I can to feed them fresh, wholesome food when I'm here, but it's hard when the pantry is stocked with bad food, AND they are accustomed to eating it. I'm expecting to hear "mind your own business," but I spend 32 hours a week with them and aside from my own personal feelings about wanting them to grow up healthy, if they develop bad food habits, sugar issues, etc, I will have to suffer the consequences also.

What do you think DCUM? Consider saying something? If so, how should I frame the discussion? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Oh, other food choice issues include feeding their kids "Kraft American cheese," which is not even really cheese, and they buy their kids strawberries every grocery trip but never get organic (and strawberries are known to have a high level of residual pesticides). I know those things might be small enough not to bother bringing up, but....even the fresh fruit they get makes me feel bad feeding it to the twins, knowing how bad it likely is for them.

[Anonymous]

It sucks and it's nice that you care, but you are a little out of like. Requesting and demanding they but certain foods is not your place. These are their kinds and they decide what and how much they eat of it. You can decide what your own kids eat when you have them. Until then, let them provide good for THEIR children. Stop acting like you know what's best for them.

[Anonymous]

Why argue about it? You must know by now that some people don't care (and by some I mean 80% of the US judging from the fact all those crappy foods are the best sellers in American grocery stores) and if the parents don't care and won't continue it then there is no point in worrying about. Even if you got them to eat "safer" foods every weekday morning for the next year it would do literally nothing beneficial for them in light of all the other crap they will eat on weekends and other times with mom and dad and all the sugar they will bribe them with.

[Anonymous]

I had a job where my charges ate 20 Oreos per day. Just do your job op feed them the way you are told.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, there isn't much you can do. Terrible thing those parents are doing to their children.

[Anonymous]

You are not the parent.
The best you can do is prepare very healthy foods as a means of introducing them to healthy foods.

But no- you can't lecture your boss about a personal choice.

[Anonymous]

MB here. My two cents:
- you can ask if it would be ok for you to get a few things for them while you're doing your own shopping (and be reimbursed of course) and use that as a way to build some healthier options into their diet
- beyond that I think you have no recourse.

I don't agree with some elements of the diet you're describing, but I also don't disagree with some of them.

Bottom line, these aren't your kids. If you're not comfortable adhering to the parents' guidelines and wishes for their kids then the job isn't a good fit for you. It's not that different IMO than differences in sleep training, discipline, cry it out, screen time, etc...

What is unacceptable to you is acceptable to them, which is fine, except that their opinions trump yours. It sounds like they've been trying to be accommodating of your requests but I expect that at some point they will become annoyed and decide you are not a good fit for them, just as you are deciding.

[Anonymous]

OP- I haven't read through, but I'm a triplet nanny. Get a Buggy Bench for shopping. I have 2 of them and they are great for shopping.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If you want to keep your job and stay on relatively good terms with your nanny family, I think you have said enough. They know how you feel, however they have the right to feed their kids whatever they want.

If good nutrition is really important to you, and from your posting I can see that it IS, you need to do both sides a favor and either stop judging them for their diet or leave them be.

It sounds like you are trying to force your own opinions on a healthy diet on to this family and that is unfair. You are there to do a job, not change part of their lifestyle.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I guess I should've mentioned that the impression I get is that they DO care, but don't really know any better and are too busy with work, the kids, managing the house, to sit down and research this stuff and then read all the labels at the store, etc. I'm on extremely good terms with them (I came highly recommended from good friends of theirs who I worked with for three years; those friends also were health nuts and I know are very close with my current MB/DB so I'm considering consulting them on the issue, too); they tell me every day how pleased they are with my work and they are always saying they hope I stay for several years.

I honestly think they might appreciate it if I helped them so they can make better choices. I've heard MB say she wants to feed her kids right; she told me that her mom bought lucky charms for the kids and MB said "no that's too much sugar. " So I think they do care about their kids eating right, they just need some help and guidance. Maybe I can start there; just say "I don't want to over step my bounds, because how you raise your children is completely your decision of course. But if you're open to it, perhaps I could offer a little guidance on nutrition and ingredients, and I'm open to helping with grocery shopping and cooking more meals as well." Something like that?

(For the record I haven't previously asked about helping with shopping, MB was just telling me about how hard it is to go shopping with the kids on an unrelated note. And thank you to the triplet nanny for the recommendation I will look into that! )

[Anonymous]

Your bitching about fresh fruit. Get off your high horse. Yes the other food is crap, but come on....,you think,because it's not organic it's crap.
Annoying nanny You are