How appropriate jump ship for another offer?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing a lot of controversy around the topic of nannies leaving one position for another. One side is preaching loyalty, while the other is preaching the nanny needs to what is best for her. I know most frown upon " poaching" a nanny with a job, but this is done in almost every other career field.

Here is my dilemma. I have an NF that I've been with for a little over a month. There hasn't been any issues or reasons for me to leave. This NF lives a 15-20 minute drive from my home and pay is fine. The other family I know from watching their son for date nights since he was 3 weeks old. They live 1.5 blocks away, same hours, but a little higher pay. Personality wise, I click with family #2 best.

I really want to accept this new position but I don't want to look like an ass. I wouldn't twice if there was an issue, but there isn't. I would give three weeks notice and would start this new position in a month. I will appreciate thoughts from both nannies and MBs.

[Anonymous]

Ultimately you have to do what is best for you in the most considerate and compassionate way possible. That's sound advice for any young person in any field. Don't burn bridges but only you are responsible for your life and satisfaction so do what is right for you.

[Anonymous]

1. How did the first family find you, OP?
2. Are they paying your asking rate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. How did the first family find you, OP?
2. Are they paying your asking rate?

I found the first throughout care.com. They are paying me $16 per hour. The other family really wants me and are offering $17.

[Anonymous]

I'd go for it.

[Anonymous]

I've been a nanny for years. I've learned to lookout for myself. Employers only care about themselves and I've been dumped like a bad habit for mb's sister/ grandparents.

[Anonymous]

MB here - I think it's kind of a crappy thing to do because it takes a lot of time and effort to find a match and I'm not sure there's any way to do it without burning a bridge, even though I'm sure you'll be appropriate and kind when telling them. That said, if you do stay in this job and always feel secretly resentful or like the grass is greener than that's probably not a good thing either. Why didn't family #1 hire you before? It does say something about them that they're willing to do that to another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here - I think it's kind of a crappy thing to do because it takes a lot of time and effort to find a match and I'm not sure there's any way to do it without burning a bridge, even though I'm sure you'll be appropriate and kind when telling them. That said, if you do stay in this job and always feel secretly resentful or like the grass is greener than that's probably not a good thing either. Why didn't family #1 hire you before? It does say something about them that they're willing to do that to another family.

I think I may have not been clear. These two families do not know each other at all. I am working for family #1 which is going well but we are not an exceptional fit. Fam #2 I've known for a while from babysitting their son as a newborn. The mom will be going back to work mid-August and offered me the position. They are closer, better, a wonderful fit personality wise.

The good thing is I've only been with this family for 5.5 weeks. They could easily find someone else, I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Take the second job, and give notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here - I think it's kind of a crappy thing to do because it takes a lot of time and effort to find a match and I'm not sure there's any way to do it without burning a bridge, even though I'm sure you'll be appropriate and kind when telling them. That said, if you do stay in this job and always feel secretly resentful or like the grass is greener than that's probably not a good thing either. Why didn't family #1 hire you before? It does say something about them that they're willing to do that to another family.

I think I may have not been clear. These two families do not know each other at all. I am working for family #1 which is going well but we are not an exceptional fit. Fam #2 I've known for a while from babysitting their son as a newborn. The mom will be going back to work mid-August and offered me the position. They are closer, better, a wonderful fit personality wise.

The good thing is I've only been with this family for 5.5 weeks. They could easily find someone else, I'm sure.

Much easier to find and interview candidates during maternity leave off than during work. Give as many weeks notice as possible and help brainstorm for good candidates from your nanny network.

I too wonder why your babysitter family didn't propose their fulltime childcare needs earlier. Why? Were they hoping for daycare slot?, or did you just start fulltime nannying for the first time? I'd certainly feel like krap poaching someone else's fulltime nanny. Many people simply do not do this. I assume they are aware you have a fulltime position.?.

[Anonymous]

Give your notice, OP. I am loyal to my charge -- not particularly to my employers. At just a month, the baby hasn't bonded with you in any real way and it will be easier to leave him/her. I work two blocks from my NF and there is NOTHING better at the end of a long day than a four minute walk home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here - I think it's kind of a crappy thing to do because it takes a lot of time and effort to find a match and I'm not sure there's any way to do it without burning a bridge, even though I'm sure you'll be appropriate and kind when telling them. That said, if you do stay in this job and always feel secretly resentful or like the grass is greener than that's probably not a good thing either. Why didn't family #1 hire you before? It does say something about them that they're willing to do that to another family.

I think I may have not been clear. These two families do not know each other at all. I am working for family #1 which is going well but we are not an exceptional fit. Fam #2 I've known for a while from babysitting their son as a newborn. The mom will be going back to work mid-August and offered me the position. They are closer, better, a wonderful fit personality wise.

The good thing is I've only been with this family for 5.5 weeks. They could easily find someone else, I'm sure.

Much easier to find and interview candidates during maternity leave off than during work. Give as many weeks notice as possible and help brainstorm for good candidates from your nanny network.

I too wonder why your babysitter family didn't propose their fulltime childcare needs earlier. Why? Were they hoping for daycare slot?, or did you just start fulltime nannying for the first time? I'd certainly feel like krap poaching someone else's fulltime nanny. Many people simply do not do this. I assume they are aware you have a fulltime position.?.

They probably just like the babysitter "just OK" and were looking for a real qualified full-time nanny, when they didn't find anyone they asked OP out of desperation =/

[Anonymous]

Take the job you want, OP. One month isn't a long enough time to have bonded with either the baby or the family. Give a lot of notice and know that they will find the right nanny for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here - I think it's kind of a crappy thing to do because it takes a lot of time and effort to find a match and I'm not sure there's any way to do it without burning a bridge, even though I'm sure you'll be appropriate and kind when telling them. That said, if you do stay in this job and always feel secretly resentful or like the grass is greener than that's probably not a good thing either. Why didn't family #1 hire you before? It does say something about them that they're willing to do that to another family.

I think I may have not been clear. These two families do not know each other at all. I am working for family #1 which is going well but we are not an exceptional fit. Fam #2 I've known for a while from babysitting their son as a newborn. The mom will be going back to work mid-August and offered me the position. They are closer, better, a wonderful fit personality wise.

The good thing is I've only been with this family for 5.5 weeks. They could easily find someone else, I'm sure.

Much easier to find and interview candidates during maternity leave off than during work. Give as many weeks notice as possible and help brainstorm for good candidates from your nanny network.

I too wonder why your babysitter family didn't propose their fulltime childcare needs earlier. Why? Were they hoping for daycare slot?, or did you just start fulltime nannying for the first time? I'd certainly feel like krap poaching someone else's fulltime nanny. Many people simply do not do this. I assume they are aware you have a fulltime position.?.

They probably just like the babysitter "just OK" and were looking for a real qualified full-time nanny, when they didn't find anyone they asked OP out of desperation =/

Here comes the jealous nanny troll.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To that annoying troll - I'm very well qualified. Go under your bridge already.

To the others. Fam #2 had her cousin in place to care for the baby FT. Her cousin can't anymore due to her school schedule. They asked me as soon as they found it out. MB does know that I have a FT position, but they have no ties to my other family. They are hiring who they think will en a great nanny for their family ( me).

Many people poach others. Nannies have to figure out and do whats best for us too. I think I'm going to take #2 and give 2-3 weeks notice. Of course I have to lock this new family down with a contract.