How do I ask current nanny to be a backup?

[Anonymous]

24 month old DC is starting daycare in a few months and I need to give our sitter enotice. There's nothing really wrong with her beyond the fact we're stretched thin financially and DC needs the socialization of daycare. She is not capable of providing that to him because she's young and not allowed to drive him.

Is there any way I can ask her if she still wants to provide care as a back up care or evening babysitting?

(Before anyone asks, we live in a rural area where nannies are unheard of, so no, I don't think we'll be fighting a new family for her time)

[Anonymous]

Just ask her.

[Anonymous]

So it's an appropriate request? I feel like we'd be saying she's not good enough for full time, but good enough for an evening out or something. Which is the case, but I don't need to call her out on it.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her you are putting him in day care to help him socialize and to save money (if you want to give her a reason) and that you've been happy with her care and hope to maintain a relationship with her and if she's interested you'd like to continue to use her on an as needed basis.

[Anonymous]

I would let her know stat that your plans will be changing in a few months.

The more notice you give her, the easier it will be to let her go and remain on excellent terms.

I would go ahead and ask her, you have nothing to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it's an appropriate request? I feel like we'd be saying she's not good enough for full time, but good enough for an evening out or something. Which is the case, but I don't need to call her out on it.

Most nannies would love to provide occasional evening care for a charge they loved and cared for for two years - that is fine. As for daycare, don't you think she is going to need to get another job (nanny or otherwise?) I doubt you would get her for back-up care. You chose daycare over her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it's an appropriate request? I feel like we'd be saying she's not good enough for full time, but good enough for an evening out or something. Which is the case, but I don't need to call her out on it.

Most nannies would love to provide occasional evening care for a charge they loved and cared for for two years - that is fine. As for daycare, don't you think she is going to need to get another job (nanny or otherwise?) I doubt you would get her for back-up care. You chose daycare over her.

That's the other reason I worry about asking. Does it come off that I'm assuming she won't find another job? I don't want to offend her at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, you won't offend her. I'm a professional in my 30s with a husband and two fur-babies of my own now, and I still look forward to babysitting my former charges once every month or two. I'm sure she'll be very happy to know you still like and trust her and want to keep her involved in your son's life. It is not uncommon for parents with one child to switch to daycare around age 2-3, and it is no reflection on the nanny's abilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:24 month old DC is starting daycare in a few months and I need to give our sitter enotice. There's nothing really wrong with her beyond the fact we're stretched thin financially and DC needs the socialization of daycare. She is not capable of providing that to him because she's young and not allowed to drive him.

Is there any way I can ask her if she still wants to provide care as a back up care or evening babysitting?

(Before anyone asks, we live in a rural area where nannies are unheard of, so no, I don't think we'll be fighting a new family for her time)

Why would she want to continue working for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:24 month old DC is starting daycare in a few months and I need to give our sitter enotice. There's nothing really wrong with her beyond the fact we're stretched thin financially and DC needs the socialization of daycare. She is not capable of providing that to him because she's young and not allowed to drive him.

Is there any way I can ask her if she still wants to provide care as a back up care or evening babysitting?

(Before anyone asks, we live in a rural area where nannies are unheard of, so no, I don't think we'll be fighting a new family for her time)

Why would she want to continue working for you?

Because she likes the kid.
Because she likes the family.
Because she wants to maintain a current network of childcare references.
Because she likes the extra money.
Because her partner works nights and she'd prefer to be busy too.
Because she wants to take a vacation next year with the extra money.

Or a million other reasons. Why WOULDN'T she, PP?

[Anonymous]

Because OP fired her. I would cut all ties with her.

OP refuses to allow the nanny to drive her kid because the nanny is "young." yet, she wasn't too young to take full responsibility for her child for the past two years. OP is just cheap and I'm sure that even a young nanny can see through her excuses.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I agree that you need to give her notice about letting her go ASAP if you want to continue to have a good relationship with her. A months notice at the BARE MINIMUM. It is also a good idea to leave nanny with a nice parting gift; usually that is a week or two salary, but since you mention money is an issue for you, even an extra $100 and a small gift (nice framed picture of her with your child? Something meaningful for her), will go a LONG way here.

It is perfectly fine to ask her to continue to work with you on an as-needed basis, and you might mention specifically date nights or days your child is home sick from school. But, you should know that she will likely find other daytime work, whether as a nanny for someone else, or in a different field entirely. And you should NOT /EXPECT/ her to make herself available, nor should you count on her as your only source of back-up care (what will you do if your child is sick and she is not available at the last minute for the whole day?).

I have worked with many great families, and continued to do evening and weekend babysitting for them. I have had families call me up and ask for the odd weekday here and there, but I have NEVER been able to accommodate those requests, because I am always working with my regular nanny family Monday through Friday.

So, yes, you can ask her. But know that she might not actually be able to help for last minute requests, even if she tells you that she's open to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because OP fired her. I would cut all ties with her.

OP refuses to allow the nanny to drive her kid because the nanny is "young." yet, she wasn't too young to take full responsibility for her child for the past two years. OP is just cheap and I'm sure that even a young nanny can see through her excuses.

Uh, switching to daycare is not the same as firing someone. If you'd cut ties with a family for choosing a cheaper childcare option at two years of age, you can't be a very experienced (or very good...) nanny.

[Anonymous]

I would leave out the part of your child needing socialization it's not the nannies fault you don't let her drive your child places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would leave out the part of your child needing socialization it's not the nannies fault you don't let her drive your child places.

Would you let a teenager drive your child? I hope not.