She said I am " too emotionally invested". Need MBs advice.
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Anonymous
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I went on my first interview since looking for a new position. I usually work with first-time parent going back to work. I am very laid-back but I take my job seriously. I have been told I'm a great interviewer and many parents love my thoroughness ( I ask 15-20 questions pertaining to the job and child). This dad was very unprofessional ( making jokes, belching, taking nothing seriously, etc.). He commented on how I am " much more thorough than other nannies." In the closer they asked " why do you think you are the best candidate for him.". I simply answered " I am a nanny who cares. To me this isn't a job I show up to and do the bare minimum. I am entrusted to care for the most precious thing in your lives. I give my all everyday, because just like you, I care that your child grows up in a loving and secure environment, where he feels safe to express himself and happily grow." I said something to that affect.
I did not receive an offer because the mom thought I was " too emotionally invested". What? I care for your newborn and infant. Of course I am going to be emotionally invested in their well being. Now I'm honestly wondering if this family was just odd, or maybe I am coming in too strong? I really would love advice from MB's. |
Anonymous
| Sorry for the typos and newborn/infant confusion. I start with a family who's child is anywhere from 6 weeks through four months in age. |
Anonymous
| I may have followed the father's joking lead and said, "because I am the world's greatest nanny". You may have come off a little over-serious and sappy. |
Anonymous
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MB here. I think you dodged a bullet with a gross father and an insecure mother.
I think your answer was fine, but leave out the "just like you part" don't put yourself on the same level as the parents in terms of care for their child. It could be off-putting. |
Anonymous
I will definitely that that advice. I wasn't extremely serious. I did joke around and laugh with the parents, but the dad was just so unprofessional throughout. I'm much more used to joking around, but all a level of seriousness. I'm wondering if maybe I ask too many questions? Most are pertaining to the job itself, and the child. I thought they were standard until that couple pointed it out. |
Anonymous
| What questions do you ask? |
Anonymous
I ask the typical things like hours, desired length of position, whether it's legal pay, etc. Questions pertaining to the child are if he/she has any allergies or conditions I should be aware of, the child's general disposition, and a few others. I also ask them what form of communication will we use, what their parental philosophies are, what type of nanny do they envision for their child, and are they comfortable with me taking their child our for walks and neighborhood classes. |
Anonymous
| MB here, I think your answer was good, I would love to hear that from people I interview. You did dodge a bullet with this one. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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MB here. I agree with 13:41, but I also think that you dodged a bullet.
Don't overthink it - these parents don't sound ideal and certainly not like you thought they were an ideal fit for you. So they probably though you were too serious or something and not the best fit for them. So don't take this personally - just take it as a mutual agreement that this wasn't the best fit, and move on. I would have been totally turned off by the father's behavior. |
Anonymous
| Maybe they just picked some else for whatever reason and then gave you some lames excuse. Happens all the time with rejections. Don't sweat it. Fwiw I thought your responses were great. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for all the constructive criticism. When I put the part " as you would.." It was more of trying to come off as a team player/partner, than being on the same level. I know I can never replace a part, and I would never want to. However, I spend 50-60 hour weeks with these children, and feel it's my duty to help make sure they are happy, thriving, and secure in a bond to express themselves. I work with in infants and generally I'm the one who is there to help and witness all of their first milestones. I feel guilty and want the parents to know in here to help, not take over or try to take their place. |
Anonymous
| I would have walked, I don't allow children to act like that around me, and I won't tolerate that behavior from an employer, because basically it says that I'm not important and he can do anything he wants, no matter how disgusting. I would leave out the "like the parent" comment unless you are looking at 7 days a week and the parent will be with the child less than 7 waking hours during the week. |
Anonymous
| Big bullet you dodged. A grown man should not be acting like that. Your answer was great. I would totally love to interview if we were looking. Don't worry about them. You will find employers who appreciate all you have to offer. |
Anonymous
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Nearly two years ago when we were interviewing our nanny, I remember being so impressed with how calm and confident she was. That is what made her stand out from the rest and was one of the reasons we chose her. She was then, and has always been, a "no drama", "don't sweat the small stuff" kind of nanny. Especially for FTP with a newborn, we wanted someone who KNEW she could not just handle but also enjoy the enormous responsibility of caring for an infant.
Relax in your interviews, OP. Know that you are the best person for the job but don't try to convince anyone - just be. |
Anonymous
OP here. This a compliment I received before. I've been told I present myself well, how professional I come across, how great it was to have a candidate answer questions efficiently, and my very calm demeanor. I am much like your nanny. They have also said they like the confidence I exude. I think this was just a bad fit and I'm glad I didn't get an offer. |