Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

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06/22/2015 09:12

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

I have pretty thoughtless employers but they are fair, pay well, love their child and live nearby so I don't have a long commute. I also love my charge. When my employers say something thoughtless I can usually let it go after a day or so but that never corrects the problem. I have been with them for nearly two years.

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06/22/2015 09:22

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

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06/22/2015 09:25

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

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06/22/2015 09:31

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Then say no I'm sorry, I have plans this weekend. If you need me to do xyz during work hours, I'll fit it into the schedule

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06/22/2015 09:32

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

My MB makes a lot of assumptions about my life that I don't appreciate, and her actions often potray an attitude toward me and my time that I'm not sure she even realizes she has. That being said, I have nothing to gain by trying to educate her. We don't need to be friends. She pays me well and on time, and I see her for maybe a total of 20 minutes every day. No big deal.

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06/22/2015 09:34

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

Ouch! That is a thoughtless comment and a real insult, OP!

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06/22/2015 09:36

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Then say no I'm sorry, I have plans this weekend. If you need me to do xyz during work hours, I'll fit it into the schedule

I think in this example it is more the wording and the assumption. OP may want or need to do the work - but her MB/DB are quite rude in phrasing it that way.

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06/22/2015 10:15

Subject: Re:Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Your employers are assholes, OP. Nothing you can do to change that. Please find another job.

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06/22/2015 13:10

Subject: Re:Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

I would be very clear that I will do anything that they need done during work hours if it fits into the scope of my job as outlined in the contract, and I'm willing to do extra duties outside of work hours on a case-by-case basis with extra compensation.

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06/22/2015 14:57

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

How is that an insult? Do you do much on the weekends? If so, then tell them. They sound like they are just offering you more hours and money, I can't see how that is an insult.

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06/22/2015 15:59

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

How is that an insult? Do you do much on the weekends? If so, then tell them. They sound like they are just offering you more hours and money, I can't see how that is an insult.

this is exactly what I was thinking and was going to post something similar. An insult would be something like I'm cleaning out my closet and getting rid of my fat clothes, do you want them?

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06/22/2015 16:03

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

If you were to agree to do these extra tasks would you be compensated ?

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06/22/2015 16:10

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Yikes! How rude of your MomBoss to make such a comment OP!

That being said, since you overall like your job, I would just let the comments go. However, I would respond to her that I actually have a lot of stuff to do on my weekends so that I unfortunately do not have the time to {fill in what she wants you to do.}

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06/22/2015 16:54

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

How is that an insult? Do you do much on the weekends? If so, then tell them. They sound like they are just offering you more hours and money, I can't see how that is an insult.

I agree it isn't much of an insult. They didn't have to say it quite in that way, but it really isn't that insulting.

I once babysat on New Years Eve for a family I found on care.com. I actually had sought out work that particular night because at the time I was casually dating two guys, both of whom wanted things to get more serious, and they had both asked me out for a fancy date that evening, so I wanted to avoid having to choose which one of them to spend the holiday with (and also give myself more time to consider if I wanted to take things further with /either/ of them), by accepting a job for the night.

Anyway, within ten minutes of my arrival, the dad started telling me that he owned a chain of salons, and that "you should really consider coming to see us so we can help with your hair and make up and then maybe next year you'll actually have a date instead of watching other people's kids on New Year's Eve!"

See, that's a real insult. I never sat for that family again. In your case, you're mostly happy with the job, hardly interact with MB and DB, and these "insults" are a combination of them not considering their words carefully enough, and you reading too much into them so just try to let it go.

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06/22/2015 17:55

Subject: Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

quote

Anonymous

We had a nanny that was mostly unavailable for additional hours on the evening or weekends due to her busy social life. When she found out that we hired an evening and weekend sitter, she told us that she wanted to be asked first since she might be able to use the additional income. Honestly, it's often hard to know what to do as an employer.