Generally, do you tell your MB/DB when they have insulted you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny that was mostly unavailable for additional hours on the evening or weekends due to her busy social life. When she found out that we hired an evening and weekend sitter, she told us that she wanted to be asked first since she might be able to use the additional income. Honestly, it's often hard to know what to do as an employer.

But you didn't think to offer, assuming that she wouldn't want to change her plans. Sorry, but I'm with your nanny, I can change just about anything to stay with my charge, have fun (albeit with kids instead of adults) and be paid for more hours.

[Anonymous]

I need a sit-down with my employers to clear the air due to similar comments and the fact that they never display the most common of courtesies. I am not looking forward to the discussion but it has to be done.

Sit down with your employers calmly and tell them that their comments/insults are not beneficial to your working relationship. Rude people do need to be called out at regular intervals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny that was mostly unavailable for additional hours on the evening or weekends due to her busy social life. When she found out that we hired an evening and weekend sitter, she told us that she wanted to be asked first since she might be able to use the additional income. Honestly, it's often hard to know what to do as an employer.

But you didn't think to offer, assuming that she wouldn't want to change her plans. Sorry, but I'm with your nanny, I can change just about anything to stay with my charge, have fun (albeit with kids instead of adults) and be paid for more hours.

But we DID offer many times and was told she had other plans most of the time. We needed someone for the weekends and occasional evenings that was reliably available. It sounds to me that you are much more willing to change your plans than our nanny was.

[Anonymous]

I found that just about everybody says thoughtless things sometimes. I do say something to the MB with whom we've become close friends. She's got a bit of a foot in the mouth disease, and so do I to be honest, so it's not unheard of that we tell each other to mind our words.

With families I didn't have a close relationship I didn't really care if they said something a bit insulting. What does the wolf care what the sheep thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny that was mostly unavailable for additional hours on the evening or weekends due to her busy social life. When she found out that we hired an evening and weekend sitter, she told us that she wanted to be asked first since she might be able to use the additional income. Honestly, it's often hard to know what to do as an employer.

But you didn't think to offer, assuming that she wouldn't want to change her plans. Sorry, but I'm with your nanny, I can change just about anything to stay with my charge, have fun (albeit with kids instead of adults) and be paid for more hours.

But we DID offer many times and was told she had other plans most of the time. We needed someone for the weekends and occasional evenings that was reliably available. It sounds to me that you are much more willing to change your plans than our nanny was.

Ah, my mistake. It sounded like she mentioned plans occasionally so you assumed that she wouldn't be interested. If you've said anything at least once, then it's a fair assumption on your part, and I don't see why she was upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they insult you? Are you just bad at taking constructive criticism?

No, they actually say thoughtless things that have nothing to do with my work. Example: "I know you don't do much on weekends so [fill in a request for me to do something for them]"

So I'm curious, what do you do on the weekends?

And what have you previously told them you do/did on the weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny that was mostly unavailable for additional hours on the evening or weekends due to her busy social life. When she found out that we hired an evening and weekend sitter, she told us that she wanted to be asked first since she might be able to use the additional income. Honestly, it's often hard to know what to do as an employer.

But you didn't think to offer, assuming that she wouldn't want to change her plans. Sorry, but I'm with your nanny, I can change just about anything to stay with my charge, have fun (albeit with kids instead of adults) and be paid for more hours.

It's always about more money. So unless there is risk of burnout, offer first but with no pressure. And always good to have backup options.