Would you quit over this?

[Anonymous]

I was placed with a family who aren't the best employers. DB is very forgetful. I am owed gas/car money at the end of each week, and more often than not he tells me he forgot or didn't have time to go the bank. I always try to sound understanding. They together brought up the idea of paying me overtime for every hour worked past a certain time, and sometimes even when they've gotten home past that time DB does not pay me for it. I have brought it up before and for some reason he sounded a bit offended.

Recently though something kind of disturbing happened. He was off that day (I was to be there with the kids as he got done whatever he needed to get done), and he told me his wife accidentally took his keys to work, and could he use my car to go pick them up. I was a bit confused (it didn't really make sense that someone would accidentally take someone's keys), but said yes. He left soon after...and didn't come back for 4 hours!! His wife works 20 minutes away, so I have no idea what exactly he was doing, but when he returned he walked in carrying armfuls of groceries and said, "Sorry, probably looks like I went for a joyride, but the grocery store was right there." I have no idea what else he was doing with my car for 4 hours. I hate thinking the worst of people but it made me wonder if he was being dishonest with me.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

All payments must be made on time and at the rate agreed upon. Do not take no for an answer on monies owed to you. Do not be understanding and be firm.


As for the car - who cares? If you are uncomfortable with him driving your car or if you needed to take the kids someplace and he was gone then do not agree to let him borrow it again. He's probably having an affair but that is not your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All payments must be made on time and at the rate agreed upon. Do not take no for an answer on monies owed to you. Do not be understanding and be firm.


As for the car - who cares? If you are uncomfortable with him driving your car or if you needed to take the kids someplace and he was gone then do not agree to let him borrow it again. He's probably having an affair but that is not your business.

This is OP.
The only issue I had with the car was not knowing what he was doing with my car for 4 hours - racking up miles, using my gas.

[Anonymous]

That is odd to be gone 4 hours!
I would be wondering too. Was a lot of gas used?

[Anonymous]

that is SO weird. I would be annoyed by a lot of the things you mentioned and I wouldn't be cool with a DB that I didn't have a great relationship with borrowing my car. I have the same question as PP about how much gas he used...

either way, I think the car thing would just be the straw that broke the camel's back for me. they seem inconsiderate and unless you're getting paid a crazy salary or absolutely love your charges, I would move on

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't last long at a job like that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would quit over that and so should you. Maybe it can be forgiven once. But it will happen again and again and again... not the exact same thing but same level of inappropriate and inexcusable behavior.

[Anonymous]

I actually wouldn't care about the car (although I would say no in the future) and would definitely asked to be reimbursed for the gas he used. If his car has GPS then he went someplace in those four hours that he didn't want his wife to know about.

Make it clear to MB and DB together that Friday (or whatever) is the day that you are paid monies owed and there can be no exceptions.

[Anonymous]

Juicy as it sounds, I doubt he used your car for an affair--you could easily mention this to the mother. He'd be much safer taking a cab or rental. As for picking up your spouse's keys by mistake, that can definitely happen.

However, all that doesn't matter because you're owed wages. That is not cool, and it is not something an employer simply "forgets." And if he does, it should happen only very exceptionally, he should be highly apologetic and pay you as soon as you bring it up. I would have a talk with both of them and say that you can't continue in the job if you are not paid for wages earned. Then if it happens again, give your notice.

[Anonymous]

All overtime and mileage is to be reimbursed with the paycheck, period. If the parents can't or won't, I politely inform them that I won't be back until I'm fully paid, and if I am not working for 3 days the following week due to this issue, I will be finding another job and reporting them to Wage and Labor.

I don't provide a vehicle for my positions. The single time that I considered it, one of the parents tried to stick language in the contract about them using the car if there's wasn't working; no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All overtime and mileage is to be reimbursed with the paycheck, period. If the parents can't or won't, I politely inform them that I won't be back until I'm fully paid, and if I am not working for 3 days the following week due to this issue, I will be finding another job and reporting them to Wage and Labor.

I don't provide a vehicle for my positions. The single time that I considered it, one of the parents tried to stick language in the contract about them using the car if there's wasn't working; no way.

*their's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was placed with a family who aren't the best employers. DB is very forgetful. I am owed gas/car money at the end of each week, and more often than not he tells me he forgot or didn't have time to go the bank. I always try to sound understanding. They together brought up the idea of paying me overtime for every hour worked past a certain time, and sometimes even when they've gotten home past that time DB does not pay me for it. I have brought it up before and for some reason he sounded a bit offended.

Recently though something kind of disturbing happened. He was off that day (I was to be there with the kids as he got done whatever he needed to get done), and he told me his wife accidentally took his keys to work, and could he use my car to go pick them up. I was a bit confused (it didn't really make sense that someone would accidentally take someone's keys), but said yes. He left soon after...and didn't come back for 4 hours!! His wife works 20 minutes away, so I have no idea what exactly he was doing, but when he returned he walked in carrying armfuls of groceries and said, "Sorry, probably looks like I went for a joyride, but the grocery store was right there." I have no idea what else he was doing with my car for 4 hours. I hate thinking the worst of people but it made me wonder if he was being dishonest with me.

What would you do?

I hope your DB/MB wasn't the one who wrote this post: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/309827.page

[Anonymous]

I would be very suspicious because grocery shopping usually does not take four hours....!!!!

Perhaps he ran some other errands or even saw a movie. Regardless, he should have told you straight.

Something is off w/this family. They just sound a bit shady to me.

Go w/your gut instinct on this OP + give them your walking papers stat.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. I will definitely start looking for something else. This DB is kind of ridiculous and I've been putting up with it for too long. Him taking my car was the last straw.