What's a good rate for this?

[Anonymous]

I work the overnight shift at a hospital 11pm-7am. Normally this does not cause any issues because I come home, drop DS off at preschool/daycare and go to bed. DH works from home and picks up DS in the afternoons. Sometimes DH has to travel out of town for 2-4 days (happens once every other month or so) which means I have to find someone to sleep at the house from 10:30pm - 7:30am and get up with DS (2.5) at 7am and feed him breakfast/get him dressed for school. I was talking about this with some of my mom friends and one of them offered to provide coverage as her kids are both in school during the day and self sufficient, and since her husband could get them on the school bus, she said she'd be happy to cover those nights I need help. Obviously I want to compensate her for this and when I asked what she'd be interested in charging, her response was "oh whatever you want. This is just some extra spending money for me".

So help! I have no idea what to pay her. $100 a night seems like a lot since she's sleeping the majority of the time but $75 seems cheap.

TIA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work the overnight shift at a hospital 11pm-7am. Normally this does not cause any issues because I come home, drop DS off at preschool/daycare and go to bed. DH works from home and picks up DS in the afternoons. Sometimes DH has to travel out of town for 2-4 days (happens once every other month or so) which means I have to find someone to sleep at the house from 10:30pm - 7:30am and get up with DS (2.5) at 7am and feed him breakfast/get him dressed for school. I was talking about this with some of my mom friends and one of them offered to provide coverage as her kids are both in school during the day and self sufficient, and since her husband could get them on the school bus, she said she'd be happy to cover those nights I need help. Obviously I want to compensate her for this and when I asked what she'd be interested in charging, her response was "oh whatever you want. This is just some extra spending money for me".

So help! I have no idea what to pay her. $100 a night seems like a lot since she's sleeping the majority of the time but $75 seems cheap.

TIA

$100 is NOT a lot. For eight hours that is only $12.50 an hour. It doesn't matter that she is sleeping - she is not at home, with her children, in her own bed and cannot leave your son. She is responsible for him. Cheap out now and you will find that she is suddenly busy or unavailable any other time you ask her.

[Anonymous]

I feel like the nanny forum is not the place for this. (Although I could see you posting this on the general parenting board and being told to post it here, too..)

The thing is, you are not talking about a nanny exactly. You are not talking about a childcare professional, who has paid experience caring for other people's children. You are not talking about hired household help. You are talking, in your own words, about a "mom friend."

You are not talking about someone who is taking a job because she needs the money to pay bills and survive. You are talking about someone who, in her own words, isn't expecting anything more than "extra spending money."

A nanny, who accepted a job as described above, might expect $100+ per night, but this is not the same as hiring a nanny. Having said that, here is what I would advise:

Tell her you're planning to pay $80 per night. Then, give her a little unexpected bonus of $20-30 EVERY TIME. (Something like $180 for two nights, $260 for 3 nights, $350 for 4 nights.)

Give her special little perks that will benefit her family, or even just her and her husband (after all, you're taking away his wife for a few nights). Perhaps a gift card for a restaurant (either family friendly or romantic). Or even just have a little bath and body works travel pack with bath salts and fancy soaps waiting for her at your house with a note "Feel free to use our bath/shower if you need!" Etc

Lastly, make sure to make things as easy for her as possible while in your home. Have breakfast more or less prepped for your son in the fridge (or give her the option of something super easy like frozen waffles or cereal and milk), and make sure to have something for her to eat as well (and tell her to help herself to breakfast, coffee, etc). Set out your sons clothes for the day before putting him to bed.

[Anonymous]

22:45 again. It occurs to me that with all the perks I've mentioned, you might as well just tell her $75 per night. I still think you should do a $20-30 bonus every time (Maybe $175 for two nights, $250 for 3, $325 for 4?). But yeah, I think the other stuff mentioned (perks like restaurant gift cards, bath basket, and making the job easy for her, offering her breakfast, etc) is pretty important to keep your mom friend happy in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:45 again. It occurs to me that with all the perks I've mentioned, you might as well just tell her $75 per night. I still think you should do a $20-30 bonus every time (Maybe $175 for two nights, $250 for 3, $325 for 4?). But yeah, I think the other stuff mentioned (perks like restaurant gift cards, bath basket, and making the job easy for her, offering her breakfast, etc) is pretty important to keep your mom friend happy in this situation.

Op here. Thanks! I LOVE the perks idea on top of the cash. And yeah, I wasn't sure where to post this but was on the nanny forum to see if any posts like this already existed and ended up just posting here. I'll post on the general forum too!

[Anonymous]

I would offer her eighty dollars per hour. That sounds fair and square.