I gently informed nanny we're letting her go, and now I don't know if she'll show up tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I told our nanny today that we are letting her go, and making a change to a nanny that speaks a somewhat hard-to-find (outside of au pair situation) target language.

Nanny was definitely surprised, yet at the same time questioned whether the language issue was the real reason, and even after I confirmed, she said she'd been "sensing things" lately as if we were not happy with her. I asked shed to finish the week with us and we'd give her a cash payout for the next week. She did not make clear whether she'll show tomorrow or the rest of the week. She was not happy. I told her I'd write a reference letter and otherwise help with new job. Not sure what else I could have done other than not make the change, but it was important for us to do so for our family.

Ugh.

[Anonymous]

you gave her a week's notice that she would be unemployed?

[Anonymous]

How long was she helping you, OP?
And where did you find her?

[Anonymous]

Nannies are fickle like that. In the past I have always lied and told them I would offer a large bonus if they work until our agreed end date and then just tell them I would mail it and never do it. They only really earned what they worked for, but it goes to show how greedy nannies are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are fickle like that. In the past I have always lied and told them I would offer a large bonus if they work until our agreed end date and then just tell them I would mail it and never do it. They only really earned what they worked for, but it goes to show how greedy nannies are.

"Nannies"? Christ, PP, how many nannies have you had? Don't you think there is something wrong with you and your family that you have had so many nannies that you can make this generalization about all nannies?!

We have had one nanny for seven years. One. And she is wonderful.

[Anonymous]

I hope to God, if it ever happens to me, that my employers have enough class to hand me a two week severance check and let me say good bye to the child I have cared for and loved every day -- and then let me walk out the door for good.

When you fire someone - anyone from any job - the day you inform them should be their last day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope to God, if it ever happens to me, that my employers have enough class to hand me a two week severance check and let me say good bye to the child I have cared for and loved every day -- and then let me walk out the door for good.

When you fire someone - anyone from any job - the day you inform them should be their last day.

OPs nanny wasn't so much fired as laid off. They needed someone who could provide a different service than nanny could (language) and told her they were replacing her. Totally ok for her to continue working a week or two. Gives her time to search for something. If she chooses to quit right then and there then so be it, but don't expect a severance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are fickle like that. In the past I have always lied and told them I would offer a large bonus if they work until our agreed end date and then just tell them I would mail it and never do it. They only really earned what they worked for, but it goes to show how greedy nannies are.

I'm an MB and you are awful. I sincerely hope this post is fake.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The intent was 2 week notice; one to do a wind-down here, one week paid but not reporting for work. I don't have the extra cash laying around to pay two weeks of full salary to two different people, so this was my best effort.

She has chosen not to come in tomorrow and "let me know" whether she'll be here Wed-Fri. I am somewhat surprised by this as she's always seemed to have a decent moral compass. If my boss told me I was laid off effective end of week, I wouldn't just not show up the next day. I'd tie up lose ends (maybe not with a smile, but I'd try) and leave gracefully.

I'm now trying to evaluate what the plan should be for compensation at separation. She is CHOOSING not to work when we asked her to finish this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long was she helping you, OP?
And where did you find her?

Less than a year. Care.com.

[Anonymous]

I am flummoxed that you don't get why your nanny may not want to come in tomorrow and is on the fence about the rest of the week. She's looking for another job, and mourning the loss of this one. the fact you need this spelled out for you is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should have told her last Friday. That would have given her the weekend to process things and not have the feelings be so raw.

It's hard to be fired and then be expected to show up to work the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The intent was 2 week notice; one to do a wind-down here, one week paid but not reporting for work. I don't have the extra cash laying around to pay two weeks of full salary to two different people, so this was my best effort.

She has chosen not to come in tomorrow and "let me know" whether she'll be here Wed-Fri. I am somewhat surprised by this as she's always seemed to have a decent moral compass. If my boss told me I was laid off effective end of week, I wouldn't just not show up the next day. I'd tie up lose ends (maybe not with a smile, but I'd try) and leave gracefully.

I'm now trying to evaluate what the plan should be for compensation at separation. She is CHOOSING not to work when we asked her to finish this time.

She sounds young and immature (two separate things). Don't give her severance if she doesn't come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am flummoxed that you don't get why your nanny may not want to come in tomorrow and is on the fence about the rest of the week. She's looking for another job, and mourning the loss of this one. the fact you need this spelled out for you is pathetic.

I'm flummoxed why she's not bright enough to realize she's jeopardizing a good reference and severance payment. Taking a "you can't fire me, I quit" attitude isn't particularly impressive.

I've had job transitions myself but did my searching in my spare time. I didn't quit showing up for work but expect to be paid for inconveniencing my employer. Nor did I expect my employer would say thank you if I bailed out on them without wrapping up expected work.

I expect her to be unhappy about the transition, but I also expected some degree of professionalism. This isn't a "we hate you, you're fired, now get back to work" situation, but rather a situation where I've tried to provide her the opportunity to make a more gradual (and compensated) leave-on-good-terms transition.

The new nanny is available to start immediately, but I intentionally deferred her start time to give current nanny a gentler wind-down. Personally I'd feel far more betrayed if my employer handed me my notice and a check and said don't come back as opposed to giving me a week to say goodbye and make sure I had my belongings, etc., plus another week of paid time after that. A check and an immediate goodbye would indicate no trust and probable ill will. That's not what we were going for, at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are fickle like that. In the past I have always lied and told them I would offer a large bonus if they work until our agreed end date and then just tell them I would mail it and never do it. They only really earned what they worked for, but it goes to show how greedy nannies are.

What a jerk! I hope they got it in writing so that you had to pay or go to court!