Letting nanny go, afraid she'll start to "check out"

[Anonymous]

I think we have made the tough decision to move our son to day care in September. We would like to help our nanny find her next gig, and give ample time to do so. So, we want to tell her asap, and start advertising this week.

I am a little concerned, though, that in the next couple months she wil call in "sick" a few times. She has been a wonderful nanny to us for three years, but a few times she has called in sick at some suspicious times (when our family was in town, so she knew we had back-up care, things like that). I'm also concerned she'll put less effort into taking care of our son. Not that she would do anything dangerous, just maybe look at her phone more. Or take him to the playground less. Does anyone else worry about this in the last few weeks? How do you handle it/ prevent it?

I know some people may say, "well you shouldn't have a nanny that you think may do that." True, but here we are.

tia!

[Anonymous]

You sound horrible and the nanny is lucky to be leaving you. Stop judging other people by your low standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound horrible and the nanny is lucky to be leaving you. Stop judging other people by your low standards.

+1 All nannies know that all jobs end - no one is going to follow their charge to college! I am sure your nanny will not stop loving your child thus continue to be vigilante about his safety and well-being. But yes - she obviously will need time off to interview for her next position and you should absolutely support that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Of course we support her interviewing for other jobs. This would probably actually happen at our house. And if for some reason the interview wouldn't be at our house, I'm sure we would have advance notice, and we could find a back-up plan for child care. I'm concerned about her calling in sick at 7:30 am, which would leave us scrambling for back-up care. I just has shoulder surgery, and my husband started a new job, so it's just really bad timing for either of us taking the day off to do child care if she doesn't come in at the last minute.

But this is actually reassuring, that no one else would be worried about quality of care dropping in the last couple months. I just don't want him sitting around inside this summer, but it sounds like I am crazy, and that won't happen. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I would not give someone two months of notice. Two weeks, yes. Two months, absolutely not. I'd have the same worries as you, OP. Give two weeks notice and one weeks severance.

[Anonymous]

OP you always can tell her few day before he starts preschool and pay for 2 weeks or so even though she wont work

[Anonymous]

You better give her time to interview and you better have a back up.

[Anonymous]

If you need her through the end of August, and you have concerns like you're expressing here, I would not give her 10 weeks of notice.

You can line up you care/plans for next year first, and line up a "worst case scenario" solution based on the possibilities you're worried about, and then give her notice.

I would give one month's notice, a great reference, and a bonus if she stays (and works reliably) through the last day you need her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Of course we support her interviewing for other jobs. This would probably actually happen at our house. And if for some reason the interview wouldn't be at our house, I'm sure we would have advance notice, and we could find a back-up plan for child care. I'm concerned about her calling in sick at 7:30 am, which would leave us scrambling for back-up care. I just has shoulder surgery, and my husband started a new job, so it's just really bad timing for either of us taking the day off to do child care if she doesn't come in at the last minute.

But this is actually reassuring, that no one else would be worried about quality of care dropping in the last couple months. I just don't want him sitting around inside this summer, but it sounds like I am crazy, and that won't happen. Thanks!

What?? Seriously, what are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Why would interviews be at your house? If I'm interviewing a nanny, it will be at my house. You are nuts, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not give someone two months of notice. Two weeks, yes. Two months, absolutely not. I'd have the same worries as you, OP. Give two weeks notice and one weeks severance.

Yeah, but you want two months notice, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would interviews be at your house? If I'm interviewing a nanny, it will be at my house. You are nuts, OP.

OP here - I thought people want to see the nanny in action with other kids. I thought othe families did that, but now that I think of it, those were nanny shares, and the interviews were at the hosting family's house. You're right, this is different, they wouldn't be at my house. Sorry, I've only been on the hiring end for the nanny before, not the letting go end.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and think the best thing you can do for her is let her know as soon as you know for sure that you will be sending your child to school.

Reason being is that the more time your nanny has to find a new position, the better. Who can argue this fact?

If she is a mature and competent nanny, she will be grateful that you notified her as soon as you made your choice about sending your son to a daycare. This should bode well vs. letting her know a few weeks in advance.

She should have zero hard feelings about this change.

You sound like a very considerate and loyal boss. Your nanny is blessed. Truly.

[Anonymous]

You could do what I did. I told nanny that we would withhold her last weeks pay check and deduct any days we thought she wasn't working at her full ability. So that kept her on her toes until the end and we ended up paying her her regular check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could do what I did. I told nanny that we would withhold her last weeks pay check and deduct any days we thought she wasn't working at her full ability. So that kept her on her toes until the end and we ended up paying her her regular check.

That's horrible! And illegal, btw.