How to get a nanny back who quit?

[Anonymous]

I'm freaking out Our nanny is absolutely fabulous. We love her so much and so does my DD. She is incredible at her job and part of our family. Friday my parents came down to see my DD and my father apparently made rude remarks about her weight. She is maybe 30-40lbs overweight. My father ( who is just critical) asked her how she does her job with being fat and if he thought of losing weight, and other horrible questions. I know she recently gained weight and it's been a struggle for her to lose it. She has insecurities about it. Friday evening she quit without notice. We didn't know until later that night what happened. My husband and and I are beyond horrified, embarrassed, and ashamed. We both tried calling today but she hasn't responded. We are FTE. We want to keep her but more importantly, apologize to her. I just feel so awful.

[Anonymous]

Send her flowers with a note of apology.

[Anonymous]

Your dad sounds like a dick. I wouldn't want to come back after being fat shamed

[Anonymous]

When did you become aware of the comments?
Did you apologize on behalf of your incredibly rude and insensitive father's horrid comments?
I would be mortified if that happened to me.

[Anonymous]

This board is not fat-friendly, so don't expect much here. For proof see the last few threads at the top.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you probably can't get her back. If she quit over that then either she has other issues with you and this was the straw that broke the camel's back, or she is very immature. Quitting with no notice over hurt feelings is really unprofessional--I could maybe understand if you or DH had made these sorts of remarks, but if a family member did and she was offended enough to consider quitting she should have addressed it with you by saying that he had made some very inappropriate comments and that she was no longer willing to be around him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did you become aware of the comments?
Did you apologize on behalf of your incredibly rude and insensitive father's horrid comments?
I would be mortified if that happened to me.

Our nanny told us there were remarks made but I did not know the extent of it until hours late. We have no issue with her weight and u know she has been happy with us. My husband has made comments about how she should eat this or that, but it's more because he thinks he know it all. He tells everyone ( including me) how this is healthier or taste better, etcetera. I guess maybe she felt shamed and disrespected. Apparently he made the comments in front of my mother, my brother, and his new wife. I know I would be hurt if someone publicly disrespected me, too. I feel the need to apologize in person - even if she chooses not to come back.

[Anonymous]

After thumping your Dad in the forehead, you should definitely call your nanny + offer your apologies.

I think she quit on the spot because she felt super offended by what your Dad asked her. However, if I were in her shoes, after cooling off a bit, I would want to speak directly to you (her bosses) to see what you thought of the whole situation.

And if you were angered and ashamed as well as very apologetic, I would have second thoughts & return to work on Monday.

With ONE condition. That she never ever has to see your Dad again. And if you have photos in your house of him, to please take them down.

Just kidding about the photos. Well...Sort of.

[Anonymous]

Send her flowers and an apology with a promise that she will never have to see your father again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After thumping your Dad in the forehead, you should definitely call your nanny + offer your apologies.

I think she quit on the spot because she felt super offended by what your Dad asked her. However, if I were in her shoes, after cooling off a bit, I would want to speak directly to you (her bosses) to see what you thought of the whole situation.

And if you were angered and ashamed as well as very apologetic, I would have second thoughts & return to work on Monday.

With ONE condition. That she never ever has to see your Dad again. And if you have photos in your house of him, to please take them down.

Just kidding about the photos. Well...Sort of.

Doubtful that condition could be met 100%.

Shame on the others in your family for not calling him out there and then.

I would make sure they all know exactly why she quit and what a bind this has put you in.

[Anonymous]

My father, a devoted Fox News watcher since he retired, made an idiotic and insulting comment to our nanny regarding politics once. Our nanny tried to politely get away from him but he persisted and made her extremely uncomfortable. I apologized for him and did make it clear to her that she would never have to be in the same room with him again. When DD's next "event" came around, I invited our nanny and not my father. Our nanny's presence at this even meant far more to DD than her grandfather's presence ever would.

The bottom line is that your father does not need to be there everyday while your nanny does. Show her that you support her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father, a devoted Fox News watcher since he retired, made an idiotic and insulting comment to our nanny regarding politics once. Our nanny tried to politely get away from him but he persisted and made her extremely uncomfortable. I apologized for him and did make it clear to her that she would never have to be in the same room with him again. When DD's next "event" came around, I invited our nanny and not my father. Our nanny's presence at this even meant far more to DD than her grandfather's presence ever would.

The bottom line is that your father does not need to be there everyday while your nanny does. Show her that you support her.

Sounds like you have your priorities all mixed up. You value your employee more than your own father? I can PROMISE you that your grandfather is more important in your child's life than a nanny. It's really sad that you are sabotaging that relationship before your daughter has the chance to decide for herself if she wants to have a grandfather in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father, a devoted Fox News watcher since he retired, made an idiotic and insulting comment to our nanny regarding politics once. Our nanny tried to politely get away from him but he persisted and made her extremely uncomfortable. I apologized for him and did make it clear to her that she would never have to be in the same room with him again. When DD's next "event" came around, I invited our nanny and not my father. Our nanny's presence at this even meant far more to DD than her grandfather's presence ever would.

The bottom line is that your father does not need to be there everyday while your nanny does. Show her that you support her.

Sounds like you have your priorities all mixed up. You value your employee more than your own father? I can PROMISE you that your grandfather is more important in your child's life than a nanny. It's really sad that you are sabotaging that relationship before your daughter has the chance to decide for herself if she wants to have a grandfather in her life.

How long before Grandpa's nasty comments turn his poor DD into a bulimic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father, a devoted Fox News watcher since he retired, made an idiotic and insulting comment to our nanny regarding politics once. Our nanny tried to politely get away from him but he persisted and made her extremely uncomfortable. I apologized for him and did make it clear to her that she would never have to be in the same room with him again. When DD's next "event" came around, I invited our nanny and not my father. Our nanny's presence at this even meant far more to DD than her grandfather's presence ever would.

The bottom line is that your father does not need to be there everyday while your nanny does. Show her that you support her.

Sounds like you have your priorities all mixed up. You value your employee more than your own father? I can PROMISE you that your grandfather is more important in your child's life than a nanny. It's really sad that you are sabotaging that relationship before your daughter has the chance to decide for herself if she wants to have a grandfather in her life.

How long before Grandpa's nasty comments turn his poor DD into a bulimic?

That was supposed to say granddaughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father, a devoted Fox News watcher since he retired, made an idiotic and insulting comment to our nanny regarding politics once. Our nanny tried to politely get away from him but he persisted and made her extremely uncomfortable. I apologized for him and did make it clear to her that she would never have to be in the same room with him again. When DD's next "event" came around, I invited our nanny and not my father. Our nanny's presence at this even meant far more to DD than her grandfather's presence ever would.

The bottom line is that your father does not need to be there everyday while your nanny does. Show her that you support her.

Sounds like you have your priorities all mixed up. You value your employee more than your own father? I can PROMISE you that your grandfather is more important in your child's life than a nanny. It's really sad that you are sabotaging that relationship before your daughter has the chance to decide for herself if she wants to have a grandfather in her life.

You do not know my father, our nanny or my child. My child has Down's Syndrome and wonderful nannies like ours are few and far between. My DD needs her nanny and does not need her grandfather. DD has her grandfather in her life - just not at any function where she would rather have her nanny present. My father created this situation - not me, DD or our nanny.

I know my life and I know I have my priorities exactly in the right place.