Nanny on the phone

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I am a WAHM with a nanny I truly adore. My 8 month old son really loves her too. She's been with us for 3 months now. In the past week or so, I've noticed she's been on her phone a bit (1-2 times a day). I have to go into the kitchen a few times a day to get food, water etc, which is when I see/hear her on the phone. I haven't said anything because:

1) I don't really know if it's unreasonable to say "no" phone time. It's a long day with an infant. I get it.
2) Because I am home all day, I do not want to get into a situation where I feel like I'm policing her. I don't think that would be a healthy situation.
3) I really like her, and we have a great mom/nanny relationship (at least in my eyes) and I don't want to jeopardize it by reprimanding her.

However, I do wish the phone calls were limited, and my son sleeps ~3 out of the 9 hours she's here so there is theoretically plenty of time to have important phone conversations.

So should I say anything? And if so, is there a way to phrase it to indicate that I understand this will happen from time to time, but that I'd prefer she talk during his naps?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I would look at the positives:

You have a nanny willing to work with a WAHM
Your child loves her and she loves child
Your only problem is that she has been on phone several times in past few weeks so maybe she has a personal situation that needs her attention during working hours.

Count your blessongs.

[Anonymous]

Blessings not blessongs

[Anonymous]

OP it is totally reasonable to draw a line here and there's no reason that a normal mature nanny should have a problem with that. "Hey, nanny, I know we didn't discuss phone usage, but I'd really prefer that you limit your calls and texts to baby's naptimes. Thanks!"

If she responds with anything but an apology and an agreement to comply in the future, then that is a huge red flag.

--nanny

[Anonymous]

If you have just noticed this, I would give it 2 weeks just to make sure that this isn't a 1 time/special circumstance thing (e.g., illness in family, massive problem with house, etc.). If you keep noticing it, I'd say something gently per the above poster; your request is totally reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have just noticed this, I would give it 2 weeks just to make sure that this isn't a 1 time/special circumstance thing (e.g., illness in family, massive problem with house, etc.). If you keep noticing it, I'd say something gently per the above poster; your request is totally reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Couple tips:

It's interesting how you say you love her and she's so great yet she has this glaring problem. If my nanny was on the phone so much I would fire her and not give her a reference. Maybe you should consider this is an actual issue and quit minimizing it.

Also, an 8 month old loves anyone who plays with them. I wouldn't give any weight to the fact that your baby "loves" the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it is totally reasonable to draw a line here and there's no reason that a normal mature nanny should have a problem with that. "Hey, nanny, I know we didn't discuss phone usage, but I'd really prefer that you limit your calls and texts to baby's naptimes. Thanks!"

If she responds with anything but an apology and an agreement to comply in the future, then that is a huge red flag.

--nanny

+1 another nanny

[Anonymous]

When she is talking on her phone, do you get the impression she is taking a business call that perhaps cannot wait? You stated that she works long days so maybe she was scheduling a Dr. appt. or some other important thing.

Or maybe her Dr. just called her at that time and she had to take the call because it was important.

Most importantly...How long is her conversation?

You brought up some valid points about not saying anything OP. I wish all bosses thought like you do.

My best advice is to play it by ear. Literally AND figuratively. If you notice she is on her phone often, and it doesn't sound too urgent, I would sit her down and request that she make any personal calls during your son's nap times.

Tell her you know that life happens. If a Dr. or someone else important calls her and that is the only time they can talk to her, let her know you understand.
But if they are friendly calls, then it is best to do it when the baby naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have just noticed this, I would give it 2 weeks just to make sure that this isn't a 1 time/special circumstance thing (e.g., illness in family, massive problem with house, etc.). If you keep noticing it, I'd say something gently per the above poster; your request is totally reasonable.

+1 I agree. If it seems sudden, maybe she has something personal going on that she needs to be available to take calls. See if it dies down in a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couple tips:

It's interesting how you say you love her and she's so great yet she has this glaring problem. If my nanny was on the phone so much I would fire her and not give her a reference. Maybe you should consider this is an actual issue and quit minimizing it.

Also, an 8 month old loves anyone who plays with them. I wouldn't give any weight to the fact that your baby "loves" the nanny.

You sound horrid. Do you have kids? Not all babies love people, lady.

OP do you share thing with each other? I have almost the exact situation. I never use my phone unless my infant charge is napping, but I had a family matte that I was being updated. My employers were close enough that I told them the situation and that I may answer a text or just check it quickly. It lasted two days and MB/DB never minded. Maybe bring it up if it continues. If it continues am increases, I would have a serious talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couple tips:

It's interesting how you say you love her and she's so great yet she has this glaring problem. If my nanny was on the phone so much I would fire her and not give her a reference. Maybe you should consider this is an actual issue and quit minimizing it.

Also, an 8 month old loves anyone who plays with them. I wouldn't give any weight to the fact that your baby "loves" the nanny.

Troll alert

[Anonymous]

If you let it go on, it will be harder to reign in because she'll think "well it didn't bother you before." just bring it up and be done with it.