The transition/debriefing discussion

[Anonymous]

Who should pay for the transition/debriefing/hand-off time seems to have come up on a number of different threads as well as how long this time should take. Is there a standard way that this is handled?

I'm hoping that maybe this can be discussed calmly and without hurling insults.

I am a nanny to one now nineteen-month-old boy and have been since his birth. I always take about five or ten minutes to transition him while telling MB/DB the highlights of our day and a few important details. I like to keep everything calm for my charge's sake. One or both of his parents come in his room (where we are generally playing) and I have him show them his new library book or piece of "art work" or something new that he learned that day. I give the highlights and say my routine good-bye to my charge. Sometimes this happens on their time and sometimes on my time. If I need to leave exactly at 5:30 one day, I will tell the parents in the morning so they can make sure to be home for the transition time - otherwise, I don't care. It's ten minutes at the very most.

Is this how most nannies and MB/DB's handle it?

[Anonymous]

I'm a parent and I assume that all of these conversations should happen within the boundaries of the nanny's hours.

I do not expect her to arrive early or stay late in order to talk with us.

Occasionally she will arrive a little early, or she'll linger some at the end of the day, and we try very hard to ensure that we don't ask her to work before or after her scheduled time. We are equally careful about getting home on time, etc..

I think that is simply appropriate, respectful, professional behavior. I would hope it's the norm.

[Anonymous]

It should take less than a minute. You have to decide what kind of nanny you want to be, a loved family member who shares in the day to day of the family, or a hard-line household employee who comes and goes exactly at their scheduled time.

I end at 6:30 daily, parents are never late, and I could easily be out the door by 6:31/6:32 if I wanted, but I enjoy talking with MB/DB and taking my time saying goodbye to my charges. I don't expect to be paid for the 10 minutes I hang around because I am paid in goodwill and happiness from the family vs being a jerk nanny that leaves exactly at 6:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should take less than a minute. You have to decide what kind of nanny you want to be, a loved family member who shares in the day to day of the family, or a hard-line household employee who comes and goes exactly at their scheduled time.

I end at 6:30 daily, parents are never late, and I could easily be out the door by 6:31/6:32 if I wanted, but I enjoy talking with MB/DB and taking my time saying goodbye to my charges. I don't expect to be paid for the 10 minutes I hang around because I am paid in goodwill and happiness from the family vs being a jerk nanny that leaves exactly at 6:30.[/quote

Ah, welcome back, Uriah Heep!]

[Anonymous]

I take five or ten minutes to transition my charges - just to pass on information and keep the parting routine and upbeat. I actually don't care who pays for it. It is in the best interest of my charged.

And to the PP with the Cliff Notes reference to Uriah Heep - he was a far more complex character and PP did not display any of his "Yes Man" qualities. Reading and studying the full novel gives a much deeper interpretation of the character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who should pay for the transition/debriefing/hand-off time seems to have come up on a number of different threads as well as how long this time should take. Is there a standard way that this is handled?

I'm hoping that maybe this can be discussed calmly and without hurling insults.

I am a nanny to one now nineteen-month-old boy and have been since his birth. I always take about five or ten minutes to transition him while telling MB/DB the highlights of our day and a few important details. I like to keep everything calm for my charge's sake. One or both of his parents come in his room (where we are generally playing) and I have him show them his new library book or piece of "art work" or something new that he learned that day. I give the highlights and say my routine good-bye to my charge. Sometimes this happens on their time and sometimes on my time. If I need to leave exactly at 5:30 one day, I will tell the parents in the morning so they can make sure to be home for the transition time - otherwise, I don't care. It's ten minutes at the very most.

Is this how most nannies and MB/DB's handle it?

Nanny here and I don't care who is paying for what -- I wouldn't skip this part of the day for the world!

That said, I have employers who respect me and my time.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here-

I honestly don't care either way. I'm just not that petty that I need to count minutes like this and leave at 7:01 every night. I often stay and chat with my MB after work about the kids when I'm technically off work.

If I have somewhere then I just say I have plans and get right out the door, no big deal.

[Anonymous]

My employers are always home (one of them) before my quitting time to hear about their children's day. I have worked for two families in the last ten years and both had always come home before my scheduled quitting time. I am surprised that others don't.

I would stay, of course, if they weren't - parents need to know about their children and the children need a relaxed transition.

[Anonymous]

I think all of your seriously seriously seriously overestimate the benefit or need of a smooth transition (and also nanny consistency, not being friends with your boss, and keeping your personal life separate.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all of your seriously seriously seriously overestimate the benefit or need of a smooth transition (and also nanny consistency, not being friends with your boss, and keeping your personal life separate.)

No. I don't overestimate any of the things you listed especially the benefit or a smooth and easy transition for the child. Have you taken any child development courses, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all of your seriously seriously seriously overestimate the benefit or need of a smooth transition (and also nanny consistency, not being friends with your boss, and keeping your personal life separate.)

No. I don't overestimate any of the things you listed especially the benefit or a smooth and easy transition for the child. Have you taken any child development courses, PP?

So all the millions of kids who go to day care and get picked up by mom/dad/nanny over the course of 15 seconds without hearing about every second of their childs day from the teachers are ruining their childs life? Good to know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all of your seriously seriously seriously overestimate the benefit or need of a smooth transition (and also nanny consistency, not being friends with your boss, and keeping your personal life separate.)

No. I don't overestimate any of the things you listed especially the benefit or a smooth and easy transition for the child. Have you taken any child development courses, PP?

So all the millions of kids who go to day care and get picked up by mom/dad/nanny over the course of 15 seconds without hearing about every second of their childs day from the teachers are ruining their childs life? Good to know...

So, you think how institutions do things are the best way to do things at home? Good to know.

[Anonymous]

I love the transition time! I am happy to see DC and want to hear everything about her day and anything new that she learned. She also has a few minor health issues and I need to know what she ate and drank that day.

I do get home early enough for Nanny to "debrief" me and then she gives DC her chance to say good-bye and do their routine.

The mornings are so rushed that I love the moments I have with DC's nanny to kind of share the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the transition time! I am happy to see DC and want to hear everything about her day and anything new that she learned. She also has a few minor health issues and I need to know what she ate and drank that day.

I do get home early enough for Nanny to "debrief" me and then she gives DC her chance to say good-bye and do their routine.

The mornings are so rushed that I love the moments I have with DC's nanny to kind of share the day.

If nanny stayed 15 minutes talking with you mainly about DC's day but also a little bit of personal chat would you pay her for those extra 15 minutes? What if it pushed her into overtime, would you compensate her fairly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the transition time! I am happy to see DC and want to hear everything about her day and anything new that she learned. She also has a few minor health issues and I need to know what she ate and drank that day.

I do get home early enough for Nanny to "debrief" me and then she gives DC her chance to say good-bye and do their routine.

The mornings are so rushed that I love the moments I have with DC's nanny to kind of share the day.

If nanny stayed 15 minutes talking with you mainly about DC's day but also a little bit of personal chat would you pay her for those extra 15 minutes? What if it pushed her into overtime, would you compensate her fairly?

Our nanny is already well into overtime by the time I get home and has never stayed for fifteen minutes. As I said, I always get home earlier than her quitting time. However, knowing Nanny, she would never accept an additional quarter of an hour's overtime pay to talk about DC. Never.