Just had twins... now what?

[Anonymous]

We just had twins, a lovely B/G couple. We are very happy... but now we need to start figuring out childcare.

We have 1 older child, DS who is 3 and will start a pre-K program in September (9 to noon). I'll go back to work around that time too. DH works full-time also.

Our current nanny is great, and we definitely want to retain her. But it seems too much to handle for one person: 2 babies (they'll be 5 months by then) and a 3-year old.

Do we need to look for a second pair of hands? Is that outrageous? Should 1 nanny be able to deal with it? Doesn't seem really fair to her or the kids.

[Anonymous]

A nanny with twin experience should be able to handle it.

[Anonymous]

The right nanny can definitely do this OP. Congrats on the twins!

[Anonymous]

I could handle this with ease. Just give her the chance.

[Anonymous]

If she is an experienced nanny - she will be able to handle it or figure out how to handle it very quickly. Yes, it is very difficult but you are learning to do it and so will your nanny.

Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Given that your older child will be in daycare, I think it's totally doable. The tough thing with infants and toddlers is getting the older sibling some activities at their level every day, but from what you describe, the schedule will be:
Get all three ready/breakfast/am bottles
Take 3yo to school
Focus on babies in am
Pick 3 yo up
Lunch
Rest time for 3 yo
A few hours with all 3 home and 3 yo has had an active morning already

The biggest potential pitfall I see will be naptimes and preschool drop-off/pickup. I would be fine with my infants doing one nap per day in the car, but 2 per day may make it tricky to get them into a good schedule, and they may take longer to STTN if their nap schedule is off. Any way you could arrange to carpool with another family or you or DH could handle either drop-off or pick-up? Maybe there's a SAHM in the class who'd be willing to drive DC home for some extra cash or free weekend babysitting?

[Anonymous]

Should be fine if she is experienced. I currently care for triplets and my last job was with newborn twins and a 2 year old.

[Anonymous]

I would first speak to your current nanny and ask her how she feels about taking on two more babies. Some nannies would be okay with it, others may not.

I personally think it's impossible for ONE adult to care for three kids so young AND be able to address their needs adequately.

There are always the nannys who say they can do it all, and I believe they believe they can.

But what would they do in this case? The older child just got into something in the house, made a horrible mess and in the process hurt his finger and is crying. He needs to be consoled while the mess needs to be cleaned up before it affects anything else.

Well if this happened during nap time for the babies, that would be doable.

But imagine if both babies are awake, screaming in hunger. Which baby do you pick to feed first? And how in the world do you even pick when both are starving at the exact same time? Because as any parent and nanny knows, kids are very demanding.

Just some food for thought.

In my opinion, I would hire a nanny to work alongside the one you have now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would first speak to your current nanny and ask her how she feels about taking on two more babies. Some nannies would be okay with it, others may not.

I personally think it's impossible for ONE adult to care for three kids so young AND be able to address their needs adequately.

There are always the nannys who say they can do it all, and I believe they believe they can.

But what would they do in this case? The older child just got into something in the house, made a horrible mess and in the process hurt his finger and is crying. He needs to be consoled while the mess needs to be cleaned up before it affects anything else.

Well if this happened during nap time for the babies, that would be doable.

But imagine if both babies are awake, screaming in hunger. Which baby do you pick to feed first? And how in the world do you even pick when both are starving at the exact same time? Because as any parent and nanny knows, kids are very demanding.

Just some food for thought.

In my opinion, I would hire a nanny to work alongside the one you have now.

These are realistic scenarios, but they are manageable. There are ways to manage simultaneous feedings, ways to put babies in a safe place while tending to the toddler, ways to keep your calm so everything works better, systems for scheduling/feeding/sleeping that make it more manageable etc...

It's a job that demands someone calm, capable, and experienced. But it can absolutely be done by one person. (I've done it, and seen several others do it with great competence.)

[Anonymous]

You and DH will learn how to handle a toddler and two babies - and so will your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would first speak to your current nanny and ask her how she feels about taking on two more babies. Some nannies would be okay with it, others may not.

I personally think it's impossible for ONE adult to care for three kids so young AND be able to address their needs adequately.

There are always the nannys who say they can do it all, and I believe they believe they can.

But what would they do in this case? The older child just got into something in the house, made a horrible mess and in the process hurt his finger and is crying. He needs to be consoled while the mess needs to be cleaned up before it affects anything else.

Well if this happened during nap time for the babies, that would be doable.

But imagine if both babies are awake, screaming in hunger. Which baby do you pick to feed first? And how in the world do you even pick when both are starving at the exact same time? Because as any parent and nanny knows, kids are very demanding.

Just some food for thought.

In my opinion, I would hire a nanny to work alongside the one you have now.

I can't imagine you actually have any twin experience. For starters, you don't pick one twin to feed. Unless one twin has severe feeding issues, feeds are usually simultaneous. Second, you don't wait until twins are screaming in hunger to feed them. You learn their schedule and feed them BEFORE they get to that point (which nanny will have time to learn during maternity leave). Third, because you know when you will be feeding the babies, you plan for that and have an activity ready for the 3 yo to engage with nearby. So if 3yo creates a major mess during feeding time for babies, you might delay feeding a few minutes, but it's NBD because babies aren't starving. You leave them contained in a crib or swing or other safe space and engage 3yo in cleanup, then proceed with planned activity for 3yo and baby feeding on a 5 minute delay, which again is no problem really.

Activities I've used for toddler siblings during baby's/babies' feeds:
Aquadoodle mat
Play dough
Sensory bins
Coloring
Stickers
Puzzles
Books on tape

I try to do something a little different each time for variety.

[Anonymous]

PP, what do you think parents of 3 do all the time? Except for some rich ones (and DCUM is NOT the norm) they don't have 24/7 care. They make it work and kids can wait a minute for most things. It won't kill them.

OP, ask your nanny if she wants this responsibility (did it not come up while you were pregnant?) and if so let her try.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of four kids. When the youngest was born ages were 6, 4, 2 and newborn. I could handle them all alone. It takes patience and being able to plan ahead.

If a functional adult can't care for three children without another adult, that's kind of sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom of four kids. When the youngest was born ages were 6, 4, 2 and newborn. I could handle them all alone. It takes patience and being able to plan ahead.

If a functional adult can't care for three children without another adult, that's kind of sad.

Agreed. I'm the nanny above who cares for triplets. I've been with them since they were 8 weeks old and they are happy, healthy and thriving . The key to taking care of multiple little children is to be calm, patient, organized and able to multi task.