Should I worry about this?
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Anonymous
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I work from home several days a week. Earlier this morning, DS and his nanny were outside playing when I heard crying, bad crying. I kind of shrugged and went back to work, but it didn't stop and sounded like "I'm hurt" crying, so I went outside to check. DS came running to me and the nanny said he was angry she wouldn't let him crawl under my car. I picked him up and noticed his lip was bleeding, and when I mentioned it, she said his lips must be chapped.
Look. I don't care if he falls down. At 18 months, it's not a surprise. But I feel like she's hiding something, and I don't know what to think of it. Am I reading into this? |
Anonymous
| Where did you find her? Is she a professional or a sitter? |
Anonymous
A professional. She's been with us 6 months. |
Anonymous
| Well, does that sound like him? Does he want to crawl under things? Does he get really upset if he can't? |
Anonymous
| Are his lips chapped? I mean, you're his mother - you must kiss him multiple times a day. Wouldn't you know if his lips were chapped? |
Anonymous
Will you stop beating this horse? It doesn't matter either way. |
Anonymous
No, and that was one of the red flags. |
Anonymous
| Is he verbal enough that you ask him how his lip got hurt? I'd start there. Do you find other bruises & scratches for which the explanation doesn't quite add up? |
Anonymous
Of course it matters. You should expect to have to train a sitter, but not a professional nanny. |
Anonymous
Sounds like op is worried about physical abuse. It shouldn't matter if this is a nanny with 30 years of experience and a PHd or if it's an 18 year old mothers helper who lives down the street. |
Anonymous
OP here. I'm not sure if I'm worried about physical abuse or just that he's getting hurt and she's covering it up. Like, if he trips and hits his head, I want to know, so someone's keeping an eye on him. |
Anonymous
| I doubt this is physical abuse given the circumstances, but it could be a sign that the nanny is either hiding things (perhaps worried about getting in trouble if DS fell, especially if it happened in the course of her trying to restrain him from crawling under the car) or not noticing things/keeping a close enough eye on DS (actually just didn't notice DS' lip was cut and so was defensive). I wouldn't freak out though. It really could just be that she hadn't noticed (perhaps it just happened) and so was just off-handedly guessing at the explanation. I'd just keep my eyes open for a few weeks and let it drop if you don't notice anything else strange. |
Anonymous
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This is kinda confusing.
Does your son like to do stuff like that? Or is it totally out of his character to ask to do something that crazy?? And do his lips get chapped or were they this particular day? |
Anonymous
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He fell and bit through his lip.
Why lie and call it chapped lips? Is this a mantua he barrier thing where that is the only way the nanny could describe the situation? Otherwise look for a pattern of defensiveness or covering up when things happen. Not mature or professional unfortunately. Our nanny does it too - when things break, when things go missing, when they are late to class, etc. She never brings it up, she makes excuses and she never takes responsibility. It's mildly annoying but if it happened with something serious she'd be gone- based on her behavior pattern and sheer disappointment and seriousness of it. |
Anonymous
| Language barrier |