the dreaded MB jealousy...

[Anonymous]

Soo I have been with my nf for over a year now, since my charge was an infant. We spend a lot of time together and we have a great time so of course we are close. Lately MB seems increasingly irritated by the way the baby is with me...she is in and out of the house sometimes, and sometimes baby wants nanny and pushes mom away. I understand how this must feel and also that logically we both know he just goes through phases as all toddlers do. But it's getting more noticeable, this kind of bad vibe where I don't exactly know how to respond. For instance, last week MB asked for a kiss before she left - baby said he wanted to kiss me. She says "Alright" and just leaves without another word, but the tone was annoyed. I'm not keen to bring anything like this up but in your experience, does this tend to increase with MB's...? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

You are really reading a lot into the "tone" of one word. You really cannot know what your MB is thinking from that alone. Just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are really reading a lot into the "tone" of one word. You really cannot know what your MB is thinking from that alone. Just let it go.

This. Maybe the tone was sad not annoyed. I see nothing in your post that makes it sound like she's being difficult To be around. Maybe try to foster some more attention between the two. When MB leaves say "let's give mommy kissed bye! ". And hand her over to mom. Or in thE situation you described I'd say "no! Let's give mom kisses because she's leaving!"

[Anonymous]

Mommy should learn to make her appearances more routine, and less erratic.

[Anonymous]

If my baby did that to me I'd be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.

lol, you are funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.

lol, you are funny

Seriously. SEVERE PERMANENT DAMAGE!!!

Ha ha ha

[Anonymous]

Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

*to invest

[Anonymous]

Most, not all, mothers are jealous of the nanny-child attachment. Some go so far as to keep switching nannies, just to avoid it. They tend to be insecure with their choice to not be the primary caregiver. Little do they realize the severe permanent damage (unstable caregivers) causes a little child.

Holy Wild Assumptions, Batman!!

In other words, just stop with this severe permanent damage nonsense.

Your ignorance is both annoying and embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular.

If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them.

*to invest

To further inform you... repercussions are likely to suddenly appear as "genetic mental illness" down the road. Of course people will say, "but the parents are so nice."

Think about it ladies, before getting defensive again. You owe it to your children, to do the very best you can with whatever you have available to you.

[Anonymous]

Your boss sounded annoyed at the situation, but you haven't said anything to suggest that she's annoyed with you, so why do you think she's jealous and what are you worried about escalating? As long as you're not discouraging the baby from being warm & loving with mom, then your boss has no reason to fault you and you have nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

OP correctly understands how parents can often be irrational about these issues.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I don't think she is/was annoyed with me necessarily but I can see the way it frustrates her and it's happening more and more. She works long hours and I know DB is usually home more often, so I get it. I do encourage them to bond and if she comes home while we are here, I always step back and let her play or hold the baby, but he is starting to resist it more. I think part of it is because it isn't consistent when she comes home or doesn't, and part of it is just him getting older. I'm not planning to say anything just wanted to get some feedback from other nannies who have worked with young ones for a long time and has BTDT.