Nanny and her boyfriend..

[Anonymous]

We have had the same nanny for over a year and I trust her. However, my daughter is almost 4 and is starting to verbalize more about her day with our nanny. And, she has told me more than once that our Nanny friend (who is a man) has joined them for outings and/or lunch. I feel this is inappropriate for her to do this on our time. how would you hand this situation?

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the nanny and ask.

Duh.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with them having lunch? Really?

[Anonymous]

Op here--- maybe I need to tell you more about my nanny. Anything, we ask of her has been met with the "if you don't like it; find someone else attitude"
So, my question is really would you terminate for this or no? I need to be prepared because I know how the conversation will go.

When she wanted a month off. I said we only give you two weeks paid and I cannot give you more. She said well, I'm taking a month and if you don't like it find someone else. We debated letting her go but it was a stressful time. We caved and gave her two extra weeks unpaid and hired someone for the gap.

[Anonymous]

OP is one of those, I want my nanny isolated all day from adult conversation. How asinine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here--- maybe I need to tell you more about my nanny. Anything, we ask of her has been met with the "if you don't like it; find someone else attitude"
So, my question is really would you terminate for this or no? I need to be prepared because I know how the conversation will go.

When she wanted a month off. I said we only give you two weeks paid and I cannot give you more. She said well, I'm taking a month and if you don't like it find someone else. We debated letting her go but it was a stressful time. We caved and gave her two extra weeks unpaid and hired someone for the gap.

You sound like a pill.

[Anonymous]

What is your concern? Are you worried that your nanny will not be paying attention to your children, but rather her man? Are you worried that your kids are hanging out with someone weekly that you don't know? I think I would be concerned as well. I mean hanging out with another nanny is one things but her boyfriend is another.

[Anonymous]

Let her have a regular lunch hour to eat what, where and with whom she wants, like regular people do. Get someone else to helicopter your kid during that one hour.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and I think this is weird. My NF has met my boyfriend but no, I wouldn't have him hanging out with me and the kids during my day. You should ask her about it

[Anonymous]

Another nanny who thinks this is weird and in my opinion, not at all okay! Given her terrible attitude I can't understand why you haven't fired her already. A nanny needs to be flexible especially when it comes to her family's concerns. I can't help but wonder, especially with regard to the month long vacation, but also the general reluctance to fire, if this is another cheap foreign nanny, and you've stuck with her mostly because she was affordable?

Anyway, bringing your child to meet an adult man for lunch without your knowledge is completely and utterly inappropriate. If I did that (which I wouldn't of course! ) I would fully expect to be fired if MB found out.

Lastly, 4 year olds have been known to make up stories. I would try to verify and corroborate her story with real evidence, and yes, perhaps even ask the nanny herself.

[Anonymous]

Find a new nanny, just based on that attitude alone.

[Anonymous]

WEll, it sounds like you have multiple, serious concerns with this nanny - so why have you waited so long to deal with it?

Correct her, fire her, or decide to live with it.

I don't believe you frankly, I think you're trolling out of boredom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WEll, it sounds like you have multiple, serious concerns with this nanny - so why have you waited so long to deal with it?

Correct her, fire her, or decide to live with it.

I don't believe you frankly, I think you're trolling out of boredom.

Yep, probably the library roamer troll.

[Anonymous]

Op here--two reasons why I haven't fired her yet
1. My kids love her and I hate to go through the process of switching.
2. And yes we pay her $18/hr which is on the cheaper side.

But, I do need to fire her already. I think it just hit me when I realized that I can't even talk to her with her attitude.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned if she wasn't truthful about where she goes with the kids and who she is with, what else is she hiding. On a rare occasion, fine, if she tells you. I don't care if a nanny is lonely during the day. This is her job and many people are lonely at their jobs but don't just go out with friends for a few hours a day. She can socialize after work and on weekends.