advice, please.

[Anonymous]

All opinions from both sides needed, please.
I'm giving notice at my job today or Wednesday. I'm attempting to get both parents together, but it's unusual for both to arrive home together, and when they do, of course the wee one wants attention and it's difficult to speak over a two-year old

I don't know if it's ok to start the conversation via email. I've been there almost two years and we get along well. It's an issue of commute, hours and quality of life. They moved a much longer drive away, so I've been on the road 2-3 hrs a day plus a ten hr work day. New job is ten less hours and 2/3 drive for same pay. I'm giving five weeks notice.

What to do? I want to be professional and kind.

[Anonymous]

Will you be ok if they find a new nanny to start next week?

[Anonymous]

You have gone above and beyond for them.
Hope they give you a fat thank-you bonus.

[Anonymous]

Start in an email saying there is something difficult/serious you need to discuss with both of them. You're giving notice will be the first thing that pops into their minds after their move.

[Anonymous]

just pick up the phone and call whichever one you deal with most often.

[Anonymous]

My new job says I can start anytime they find coverage, so I'm covered if find someone quickly. (Op)

[Anonymous]

Op here. If anyone wonders at my hesitation and questions, I've never had to quit a nanny position before, all my past ones over 11 years have either moved or in one case, the child began first grade. This is my first time! I feel awful because mom is pregnant. But I need to get my life back- I'm constantly tired and have my own family. In my past career, leaving a job was simple. Not so much now :/

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom and I think the thoughtfulness you're giving to this, and the significant notice as well, speak really well of you.

I would totally understand if you weren't able to speak with both parents - that would be pretty tough to accomplish in our house as well.

Talk to the one if you can and then follow up with an email. If you want, you can email in advance to say that you're really hoping to speak with them if they will both be available. They'll immediately leap to the most worrisome conclusion (you leaving) so they'll be prepared.

But you sound perfectly appropriate in how you'll handle it. I hope they're gracious.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you send an email and ask if all 3 of you could sit down and talk?

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I would certainly understand your reasons and appreciate the 5 weeks notice. Whoever you deal with most often, likely the mom, tell her that you've greatly enjoyed working with the family, especially the child, so much so that you were working very hard to make the new commute work for you in your personal life, but even with the passage of time, you're still finding the commute challenging. So, you're taking job closer to home for you that will allow a better work life balance.

Phrased that way, they will understand that it's not personal and that you still have very positive feelings bout the family - which it sounds like you do! If you approached me with this, I would understand and be supportive. 5 weeks is also plenty of time to find another nanny. Maybe they'll appreciate the break in care while she's on maternity leave anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to give notice to just one parent, and follow up with an email to both. The longer commute is a perfectly reasonable explanation for taking another job. I think five weeks notice is more than enough.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, everyone. I'm nervous but reassured. I appreciate the positive words so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, everyone. I'm nervous but reassured. I appreciate the positive words so much.

How did it go?

[Anonymous]

I cried, mom was shocked, dad came home from work to talk to me and comfort her. It's hard for them. I feel terrible but I'm exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Mom was shocked? With that commute? How pregnant is she?

I only ask because the only time a nanny quit where I needed support after was the one who quit one week after our third child was born and only gave us two weeks notice (her husband found a job and convinced her to be a SAHM). She had just asked me for more hours the week prior!