Help me be ok with the fact that DS loves our nanny.

[Anonymous]

I should be grateful, but I feel jealous.

He obviously loves DH and I but he often will prefer our nanny. Sometimes I get so jealous I want to let her go and send DS to daycare but that's selfish and I know it's best for DS to keep her.

I know she probably won't ever have kids of her own so she's very mothering to DS but I have to bite my tongue sometimes.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean about having to bite your tongue sometimes ? Is there a specific thing or things you don't like?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should fire your nanny and hire someone who DC hates so that he cries for you all day long. Perhaps someone who ignores him so that he is lonely all day.

Obviously, I know you don't want that but there are mothers who are so selfish and insecure that they are happy when their children cry for them. You NEVER want to be one of those mothers, OP.

Your nanny's relationship with your child is only for a few years while your relationship is for the rest of his life. Be grateful and happy that your baby has someone who loves and cares about him during the day. You truly would not want it any other way.


No one ever takes the place of a child's parents. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Understand that you have a high-class problem. Until you have to leave your baby crying and calling for you at daycare you have no clue what agony is. Or when your toddler is on his 5th cold of the year from being around other kids at daycare for 8 to 10 hours a day.

Your baby is happy and thriving in your nanny's care - be glad.

[Anonymous]

Again I ask is there something specific bothering you?

Your 3rd and 4th sentences seem to be about two entirely different things.

Believe it or not the feelings expressed in your 3rd sentence is normal. It's normal to feel a bit of jealously. But just remember your his mom and no one can replace you. It is a great reflection of you that you chose a nanny your son feels so comfortable with.
Plenty of daycare kids get attached to their teachers and you'll be dealing with same feelings.


All that is true but to your last sentence and I could be reading too much into this but if your nanny is crossing boundaries in some way it is okay to be bothered by that
and ask for it to be changed.

I know of a nanny that would do things like buy clothes for her charge, give them baths , call them her babies all seemingly harmless but when added together could grate on the nerves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again I ask is there something specific bothering you?

Your 3rd and 4th sentences seem to be about two entirely different things.

Believe it or not the feelings expressed in your 3rd sentence is normal. It's normal to feel a bit of jealously. But just remember your his mom and no one can replace you. It is a great reflection of you that you chose a nanny your son feels so comfortable with.
Plenty of daycare kids get attached to their teachers and you'll be dealing with same feelings.


All that is true but to your last sentence and I could be reading too much into this but if your nanny is crossing boundaries in some way it is okay to be bothered by that
and ask for it to be changed.

I know of a nanny that would do things like buy clothes for her charge, give them baths , call them her babies all seemingly harmless but when added together could grate on the nerves.

??? I have to give my charges their bath - it is part of my job that my employers insist on every day.

[Anonymous]

Your child may well prefer the nanny in that moment. But that stage never lasts. Generally, a child wants his nanny because he knows that when nanny arrives in the morning he is up for a day of fun and when Mom and Dad come home in the evening he is up for dinner and bed. Not as much fun.

Every time my charge gets mad at me for changing his diaper he cries for his "Mom-Mom". My employer told me that every time he gets upset when she changes his diaper he calls for "Nan-Nee". My charge is always happy to see me, sad when I leave at night -- but gives kisses to a picture of his Mom several times during the day. TALK to your nanny!

There is a really great thread from a couple of weeks ago from a mother who was experiencing much the same thing. Look for it, OP. Something like "DS cries when Nanny leaves in the evenings".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again I ask is there something specific bothering you?

Your 3rd and 4th sentences seem to be about two entirely different things.

Believe it or not the feelings expressed in your 3rd sentence is normal. It's normal to feel a bit of jealously. But just remember your his mom and no one can replace you. It is a great reflection of you that you chose a nanny your son feels so comfortable with.
Plenty of daycare kids get attached to their teachers and you'll be dealing with same feelings.


All that is true but to your last sentence and I could be reading too much into this but if your nanny is crossing boundaries in some way it is okay to be bothered by that
and ask for it to be changed.

I know of a nanny that would do things like buy clothes for her charge, give them baths , call them her babies all seemingly harmless but when added together could grate on the nerves.

??? I have to give my charges their bath - it is part of my job that my employers insist on every day.

Wasn't part of her job though. Mom liked to give before bed baths and nanny would do it before mom got home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again I ask is there something specific bothering you?

Your 3rd and 4th sentences seem to be about two entirely different things.

Believe it or not the feelings expressed in your 3rd sentence is normal. It's normal to feel a bit of jealously. But just remember your his mom and no one can replace you. It is a great reflection of you that you chose a nanny your son feels so comfortable with.
Plenty of daycare kids get attached to their teachers and you'll be dealing with same feelings.


All that is true but to your last sentence and I could be reading too much into this but if your nanny is crossing boundaries in some way it is okay to be bothered by that
and ask for it to be changed.

I know of a nanny that would do things like buy clothes for her charge, give them baths , call them her babies all seemingly harmless but when added together could grate on the nerves.

??? I have to give my charges their bath - it is part of my job that my employers insist on every day.

Wasn't part of her job though. Mom liked to give before bed baths and nanny would do it before mom got home.

Where did OP write that?

And if you are referring to the other thread recently, that nanny's complaints were about having to take a dirty-haired child out the next day because the Mother never got around to the bath.

[Anonymous]

There are probably 100 threads written about this topic.

Rise above your base jealousy and know that you are doing the best for your son. Having a good bond with his nanny will only help him establish bonds with other non-family members as he gets older. You will always be his only mother.

[Anonymous]

You are very childish, OP. Whether or not your nanny has her own children has nothing to do with the issue. Your son is with her for 40-50 hours a week. It would be cruel and unhealthy for you to want him to be unhappy in her care.

Basically, OP, grow up and be a parent.

[Anonymous]

You should think more about your son's needs rather than your needs. Good, trustworthy loving nannies are hard to come by. Would you feel better if your son were detached and cried when the nanny walked in every day? -MB of 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

This post is such a joke. Poser OP should go back to her romance novels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean about having to bite your tongue sometimes ? Is there a specific thing or things you don't like?

Just when she's affectionate with him or he's affectionate with her. I want to yell, "He's my baby!" but it's all the crazy in me. I know it's not right, which is why I asked for help NOT judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean about having to bite your tongue sometimes ? Is there a specific thing or things you don't like?

Just when she's affectionate with him or he's affectionate with her. I want to yell, "He's my baby!" but it's all the crazy in me. I know it's not right, which is why I asked for help NOT judgment.

OP remember two things-you are and will always be the most important person in child's eyes. Next, your child can't have too many people that love him. Your feelings are normal but sounds like you're in good place.