Letting a nanny go - how best to do it

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny we absolutely love. She's been with us since September. We have always been clear with the nanny that we plan to put our daughter in daycare by the time she is two (next fall) or a little bit earlier if we got off a wait-list before then (like summer). Well, we just got off the wait-list for our top choice daycare, starting in April, so now we need to let the nanny go earlier than we'd ever talked about.

We have a signed agreement, and will be giving her severance pay. We also want to tell our nanny as soon as possible, so she has the longest possible time to find another job.

My question is: how best to tell the nanny? Should we wait until Friday at the end of the day, so that she can go home and process the news, and not have to be at work all day after learning the news? Should we tell her tomorrow, to give her the longest possible time to job hunt? Should we call a special meeting, to give her a little bit of notice that something is up? Or just tell her?

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

You are totally overthinking this. Tell her three weeks before her last day, and be prepared that she may quit on the spot and refuse to come back and then you'll be screwed for childcare for three weeks.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you are overthinking this. If you have a good relationship with the nanny, you should be able to talk openly/honestly with her. I would tell her this Friday at the end of the day that your daughter has gotten into daycare earlier and as a result you will no longer need her after X date, that you are more than happy to be a reference for her, and to put out a good word in the neighborhood for her. April is not that far away so she will likely appreciate having the time to look for a job while still having one. That said, if she gets a job offer that starts sooner than the last day you need her, there is the chance that she will leave before you are ready. But if you have a good relationship with her, she should be willing to work with another family to find a start date that works for everyone (old and new family).

[Anonymous]

Talk with her asap. You owe her that. GL.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree you are overthinking it - this is a tough situation. But you should tell her Friday and you should not only offer to serve as a reference but you may also offer to help her find a new family by posting the job here or in other places. AND be prepared for a situation where she finds a job faster than you expected! As you can see, there are many families looking for good nannies. But on the other hand, if you help her find the family, you may be able to work out a mutually agreeable start date.

[Anonymous]

You may want to think about a retention bonus that she gets if she stays until the day your daughter starts daycare.

[Anonymous]

I had an employer move last summer. I had been with them 9 mo when they told me (on a Monday) and they had hired me with a 2 yr agreement. They moved about 2 mo after they told me and gave me a month severance (we had no contract.) My two cents is to err on the side of generosity and to treat people how you want to be treated and hope it doesn't backfire. I'll be the first to admit the news was hard to take and I was sad, disappointed etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes, do it Friday at the end of the day. Put something in writing so she can process it over the weekend (it is rotten to feel like you're being fired, so you'll want her to have a document that lays out what you are offering.)

Definitely set up a retention bonus (rather than severance). Definitely tell her that you'll give her a great reference, that you hope she might still be available for babysitting, etc...

[Anonymous]

You should give her a big bonus to apologize for your nasty behavior.

[Anonymous]

I say just tell her the next time you see her.

You don't need to make a big deal about it.

This same exact thing happened to me before + my bosses gave me plenty of time.

They offered to give me a good/solid reference and wished me luck finding a new position.

The sooner I found out, the better it was for me in finding a new family to work for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say just tell her the next time you see her.

You don't need to make a big deal about it.

This same exact thing happened to me before + my bosses gave me plenty of time.

They offered to give me a good/solid reference and wished me luck finding a new position.

The sooner I found out, the better it was for me in finding a new family to work for.

+1

I appreciated having plenty of notice and stayed through my last day. If you have a good relationship with her just let her know ASAP, and yes, at the end of a day so she can go home after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny we absolutely love. She's been with us since September. We have always been clear with the nanny that we plan to put our daughter in daycare by the time she is two (next fall) or a little bit earlier if we got off a wait-list before then (like summer). Well, we just got off the wait-list for our top choice daycare, starting in April, so now we need to let the nanny go earlier than we'd ever talked about.

We have a signed agreement, and will be giving her severance pay. We also want to tell our nanny as soon as possible, so she has the longest possible time to find another job.

My question is: how best to tell the nanny? Should we wait until Friday at the end of the day, so that she can go home and process the news, and not have to be at work all day after learning the news? Should we tell her tomorrow, to give her the longest possible time to job hunt? Should we call a special meeting, to give her a little bit of notice that something is up? Or just tell her?

Thanks in advance.

Just recompense her and help her to find another good family,be on peace with God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say just tell her the next time you see her.

You don't need to make a big deal about it.

This same exact thing happened to me before + my bosses gave me plenty of time.

They offered to give me a good/solid reference and wished me luck finding a new position.

The sooner I found out, the better it was for me in finding a new family to work for.

+1

I appreciated having plenty of notice and stayed through my last day. If you have a good relationship with her just let her know ASAP, and yes, at the end of a day so she can go home after.

Of course she's going home,stupid...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are totally overthinking this. Tell her three weeks before her last day, and be prepared that she may quit on the spot and refuse to come back and then you'll be screwed for childcare for three weeks.

Not all nannies will leave. Some have integrity. I would give your nanny 6-8 weeks notice. My last family took an unexpected job offer. They gave me 6 weeks notice and a bonus for staying the extra month. I didn't even think of leaving. I loved them and we are still in touch today. I think it depends on your relationship with her.

[Anonymous]

OP here- thanks all for the input. I took the advice here and told her as soon as possible (at the end of the day so she could go home to process it). She was a total pro about it (I was the one that was a teary mess) and she said she really appreciated knowing as soon as possible. We're going to do all we can to help her find a new job, and I think it's all going to work out. Thanks everyone for weighing in.