Nanny does not have a life outside of work
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Our nanny is a nice person, but lack intellectual curiosity and outside interests. She is in her late 40s and nannying and night and evening babysitting are her life. She does not seem to have any other friends except former families she worked for or her former charges. She is friendly with a few other nannies from the play groups and park, but does not seem to have any other friends. My SIL warned me not to hire a nanny with "no life". Sometimes I feel like nanny is too enmeshed in our lives. Whenever we ask her what she did at night or over the weekends, she responds "work or sleep". She is also not as fit as she once was and it is starting to be an impediment to work. For instance, she was complaining about taking our son to the library and it's only a few blocks away. She asked my husband for an umbrella stroller for the bus. I'd like a nanny with some outside interests. Our son's day is always the same. Very regimented. Very scheduled but never any different or new experiences. Nanny doesn't do a lot of arts and crafts. She plays with his toys but not in a creative manner. How would you address this? You can't really teach a person to be interesting or creative. I want DS to have a love for life and many experiences and interests. |
Anonymous
|
Your nanny sounds a lot like me though my nf thankfully doesn't ask me personal questions and I live with them. Not all people enjoy life, not all people want to be alive. I pray and daydream about dying everyday, it's what gets me though the day. You should really give your nanny a break. I am a great nanny even though I have no life outside of work. I've decided to live a life where I contribute to society and work as a nanny.
|
Anonymous
|
uh that's a weird response PP.
OP why would you assume she has no life? maybe she doesn't want to disclose personal information to you and that is perfectly fine. if you are looking for a paid BFF you should look for another nanny but if your son is happy then it isn't any of your businesses if she has "no life" |
Anonymous
| Pp you sound depressed. Please talk to someone. |
Anonymous
|
What does it matter what she does (or doesn't do) on her own time? She seems to take great care of your son and aside from weight gain you are happy with her?
Also, as your son grows he gets heavier and maybe that's why she asked for a stroller (a perfectly normal request). |
Anonymous
This makes me so sad. I hope you seek help. You don't need to suffer like this. Good luck and take care of yourself. |
Anonymous
|
Whether or not your nanny has a life outside of work is not your concern. However, things like walking your son to the library (lack of physical fitness) and creative play (lack of knowledge in development) are your concern. If you want more than a babysitter or housekeeper, you need to keep these things in mind when hiring.
We hired a nanny with preschool teaching experience and, although she is older, she still runs marathons! |
Anonymous
| She's 40 and is a nanny. Ever think she is forced to work all the time just so she can save enough for retirement? Considering she is single, she doesn't have a sponse to share the burden. second, have you ever taken a full size stroller on a bus? It is big, heavy and a pain in the ass to lift with a child in it. I'm an extreme fit and young nanny and I would absolutely request an umbrella stroller for public transit. |
Anonymous
| Wouldn't you be depressed if you were told not to speak with any other adults for ten hours a day? |
Anonymous
I'm sorry you had a bad employer. Ds' nanny talks to many adults throughout the day. |
Anonymous
Sorry, I could never work in a controlling environment. I need to do what I think is best. Period. |
Anonymous
I'm sorry I don't get what's controlling about the environment that his Nanny is in. They have play dates with her friends whose kids are around the same age as mine, she has made friends with some of the women in ds' various activities. I'm not sure I understand why you perceive this as a bad environment. |
Anonymous
|
You must be a troll.
She asked you for an umbrella stroller for the bus? I carry a two year old on my back every day and I still asked for the same, that's such a reasonable request! What do you care what her life is like outside of work? For all you know she's hitting up frat parties every weekend and says "sleep" when you ask just to maintain her professional boundaries. Or maybe her entire apartment is an enormous canvas she paints on; maybe she doesn't do crafts with your son bc she's worried about the mess. Basically it could be anything. Stop judging her personal life that you know fuck all about. The only part of your question that is even remotely reasonable is regarding your son's daily schedule. If you think it is too regimented, think what you'd like him to do instead. Figure out what would be good for him to participate in, at home or in a class. Then talk to her. "Marcy, as Johnny gets bigger we are very excited for him to broaden his horizons. We thought x,y,z would be great for you to do together - what do you think? And do you have any other ideas?" You may find her perfectly willing and able to adapt once you've provided some management, or you may find that she no longer meets your son's needs as he ages, but you'll base that on her work performance after you're communicating clearly with her; not based on your idea of how creative she is or something bizarre like that. |
Anonymous
| This doesn't address the overall issue you raise, but in terms of creativity and introducing new activities into the routine, you can pick up a copy of "My Busy Toddler/Preschooler" and ask the nanny to pick out two activities from the book each week to do with your son. There are hundreds of options in there. I'm not a very creative person and found the book really helpful. |
Anonymous
I was addressing why *some* nannies are depressed. I don't know about your nanny. |