I'm losing my nanny groove and ability to differntiate good from bad:(

[Anonymous]

It really sucks. I had the pleasure of working with great families that I knew instantly were a great match. Lately this hasn't been the case. I recently parted with a family ( they moved) with a family I didn't initially think I would click with. I didn't dislike them but I didn't get that spark. I accepted the position and it's hands down my favorite position. They are amazing people and a great match. Since that split I have worked for two families ( since September). The first I had such a great feeling about. We completely clicked and then it changed once I was in the position. I left and took another job. The same thing happened. I felt that " we are a great potential match" but it proved to be wrong.

I'm interviewing and I want to find a long-term. I'm so sick of getting comfortable and then having to change positions because of a job loss, move, etc. I understand that comes with the territory of this industry. I'm even more bummed that my radar is off. Families that I think would be a great fit ( schedule, great salary, same philosophies, etc.) end up being horrible matches. In turn, the families I liked but didn't " love" became the best positions for me. I feel I am lost and can't decipher between the good and bad feelings. I am always wrong. I guess this is more of a vent, being unsure if there is a way to fix this.

[Anonymous]

That's a bummer. I'm not a nanny but I've had that feeling w/ jobs before - I took something that should have been great and it turned out to be nightmare and made me totally question my judgment.

But you sound like you have quite a bit of experience, so maybe you can figure out how to pinpoint what was good and bad about your various positions. That might help you be more conscious of how you're evaluatiing potential employers.

What were the characteristics of the best employers you had? Were there commonalities in how they communicated with you, how the positions were structured, what your daily schedule/responsibilities/flexibility was? What specific things did you most value about your top two or three positions?

Conversely - what went wrong w/ the most uncomfortable experiences? Be as specific as you can about what didn't work, what got under your skin, what made you leave.

If you can identify some tangible things then you can seek those out, ask questions of potential employers that get at what you're looking to find (or avoid), etc...

Don't totally second guess your gut instincts, or decide that you're always wrong. Somehow your radar got off but you can get it back. I think you just need to focus on specifics so you can sort out emotion from fact, snow job of a smart interviewer from red flags in his/her questions, etc...

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

No real way to fix it. Luck of the draw. I try to look at the bad situations as stepping stones that got me to my wonderful nanny position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's a bummer. I'm not a nanny but I've had that feeling w/ jobs before - I took something that should have been great and it turned out to be nightmare and made me totally question my judgment.

But you sound like you have quite a bit of experience, so maybe you can figure out how to pinpoint what was good and bad about your various positions. That might help you be more conscious of how you're evaluatiing potential employers.

What were the characteristics of the best employers you had? Were there commonalities in how they communicated with you, how the positions were structured, what your daily schedule/responsibilities/flexibility was? What specific things did you most value about your top two or three positions?

Conversely - what went wrong w/ the most uncomfortable experiences? Be as specific as you can about what didn't work, what got under your skin, what made you leave.

If you can identify some tangible things then you can seek those out, ask questions of potential employers that get at what you're looking to find (or avoid), etc...

Don't totally second guess your gut instincts, or decide that you're always wrong. Somehow your radar got off but you can get it back. I think you just need to focus on specifics so you can sort out emotion from fact, snow job of a smart interviewer from red flags in his/her questions, etc...

Good luck!

You said it correctly - I am questioning my judgement. The characters I had with my great families: respectful, communicative, appreciative, trustworthy, had integrity, and laid back. I would say what I loved most was being treated as a part of the family and a respectable human being. I am the type that likes being relied on a bit. I'm a caretaker and love it. The family that was my favorite was a blessing in disguise. I didn't think it would be a good fit because the dad was very serious. He is a big shot lawyer and the nicest guy once you get to know him.

Families I hated: The first one matched the philosophies I wanted. We literally answered each others questions in the interview. It seemed like my dream job. The trial days went great. Then a week into the job MB was constantly late, started adding duties ( meal prep, cleaning their dishes) and her attitude changed. She went from being so sweet to being like ice. Everyday she would dismiss me saying " You can go now..we don't need you anymore". I felt very unwelcome. The second was okay but the mom treated me like a child. She worked from home and watched me like a hawk. As soon as the baby cried, she ran upstairs right behind me. It was very annoying. She kept reiterating how much she trusts me yet never fully let me do anything on my own. I noticed she did the exact same thing with her husband.

I am hoping things look up. I am totally burnt out from bad job situations. I just want to fine the one for me already.

[Anonymous]

So sorry to hear this OP.

Perhaps it isn't you at all. It could be the families doing.

What I mean by this is that some families will come across as caring, laid back and totally welcoming and friendly/open. You get a good vibe based on that and the chemistry seems to work. Perhaps they planned it that way. Then once you start working for them and getting attached to the kids, you find out things about this family little by little that start to bug you. What the family hopes is that by the time you realize what shady bosses they are, you are already so attached to the kids that you simply cannot bear to leave.

It's like they depend on this.

Trust me, I have met families who right away...I thought were super awesome and told others about as soon as I got home. Weeks, months later I realized my first impression was just their best behavior. But I have had that experience with others in life, i.e., ex boyfriends, friends, neighbors, etc.

It's not just in the nanny profession...It's just life.