New MB always wants to talk and it's interferring with work

[Anonymous]

She is self employed but to be candid, I don't see how she has a job. I work 9 hour days but she only works 5-6 hours out of the day. The rest of the time she is upstairs trying to talk with me or play with the baby. I don't mind her playing with her child but I have duties to handle when the baby naps. MB will sit there while I get them done and ask me a billion questions. During my lunch break she sits at the table or the room ( open floor plan) and talks with me. I engage because I don't want to be rude but it's getting to me. I can't tell her where to be in her own home but it would be nice to not have to answer a ton of questions. It would be nice to get a little peace of quiet while I at least eat my lunch. I have tried hinting by saying " I have to change the laundry and fold it". As soon as I come back upstairs, it's chatting again. My charge goes down at 5 and I am suppose to leave at 5:30. Most days I don't leave until 5:45 or 6 because MB will come up ( like clockwork) and start chatting with me.

She's a nice woman and I don't mind discussing personal aspects but it's excessive chatting that is getting to me. I will admit that I have a hard time being assertive. I don't even know how to handle this situation because it's her home. I don't feel it's okay for me to tell her where to be in her home. Quite frankly, I don't understand why she needs a FT nanny. It seems to me that she wants a chatting buddy. How do I handle this situation?

I have been here for close to two months.

[Anonymous]

While the baby is napping, put in earbuds. Go to the library, take out books, and then on your down time sit down with your book and if she talks say "Sorry, I was hoping to use my lunch time to get this read - the due date is coming up soon." Do it a few days in a row and see if she gets the hint.

At 5:29 put on your coat and pick up your back, at 5:30 say "Gotta run - I have an appointment/am meeting someone/have plans, bye!" and walk towards the front door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While the baby is napping, put in earbuds. Go to the library, take out books, and then on your down time sit down with your book and if she talks say "Sorry, I was hoping to use my lunch time to get this read - the due date is coming up soon." Do it a few days in a row and see if she gets the hint.

At 5:29 put on your coat and pick up your back, at 5:30 say "Gotta run - I have an appointment/am meeting someone/have plans, bye!" and walk towards the front door.

I agree. But I doubt she will get the hint. She is probably lonely because she works from home and is thrilled to have company. I think you are going to have to be direct.

[Anonymous]

I would ask questions back. A lot of times people start asking questions because they have something they are dying to say.
Maybe she keeps hoping that if she continues the conversation, then eventually things will come around to her, and she can say whatever it is that she needs to say. On the other hand, you keep hoping that if you just answer the question at hand, then the conversation will naturally end.
Maybe if you make the conversation more two sided, then she will feel more satisfied with the conversation, you won't feel hammered with a million questions, and both of you can get back to whatever you need to be doing.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you, OP. My employer comes home from lunch and all she does is talk to me - and not usually about my charge. I can handle it because it's only lunch and I do use her a little bit by saying thing like, "I'm going to start the laundry while you're playing with Mary" and I leave the room!

Sounds like your MB is lonely. Sad but you were hired to take care of her baby not her. When she interrupts, keep your focus on the baby and keep playing/bathing/reading - whatever you were doing when MB walks in. Spring will be here soon and you will have more opportunities to get out of the house and away from her. Enroll the baby in library story time, music class, etc. to stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask questions back. A lot of times people start asking questions because they have something they are dying to say.
Maybe she keeps hoping that if she continues the conversation, then eventually things will come around to her, and she can say whatever it is that she needs to say. On the other hand, you keep hoping that if you just answer the question at hand, then the conversation will naturally end.
Maybe if you make the conversation more two sided, then she will feel more satisfied with the conversation, you won't feel hammered with a million questions, and both of you can get back to whatever you need to be doing.

I never said it was one-sided. I always talk with her and we communicate effectively. She will talk about anything from the job to asking me about personal life ( bfs, dating, family, school, etc.). I do not believe its anything she has to ask me. She is happy with me and continuously says so almost everyday. DB works longs hours and travels. I personally think she is lonely. They are quiet people and do not socialize too much with other couples. They even tend I stay in on the weekends. I think she is just dying for a friend or a person to talk with and I'm easy access. She ends to treat me like a friend with our conversations rather than an employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask questions back. A lot of times people start asking questions because they have something they are dying to say.
Maybe she keeps hoping that if she continues the conversation, then eventually things will come around to her, and she can say whatever it is that she needs to say. On the other hand, you keep hoping that if you just answer the question at hand, then the conversation will naturally end.
Maybe if you make the conversation more two sided, then she will feel more satisfied with the conversation, you won't feel hammered with a million questions, and both of you can get back to whatever you need to be doing.

I never said it was one-sided. I always talk with her and we communicate effectively. She will talk about anything from the job to asking me about personal life ( bfs, dating, family, school, etc.). I do not believe its anything she has to ask me. She is happy with me and continuously says so almost everyday. DB works longs hours and travels. I personally think she is lonely. They are quiet people and do not socialize too much with other couples. They even tend I stay in on the weekends. I think she is just dying for a friend or a person to talk with and I'm easy access. She ends to treat me like a friend with our conversations rather than an employee.

If this woman needs a friend, you could try to be a friend. Stop talking about yourself. Ask her about herself.

And no. That isn't your job, but it is the kind thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her as diplomatically as possible, even jokingly if I could, "_______, I would really love to chat more with you about _____ and _____, but I really have to finish up the chores that you require me to do. Unless you are willing to lighten up my workload, I am sorry but I just do not have the time right now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask questions back. A lot of times people start asking questions because they have something they are dying to say.
Maybe she keeps hoping that if she continues the conversation, then eventually things will come around to her, and she can say whatever it is that she needs to say. On the other hand, you keep hoping that if you just answer the question at hand, then the conversation will naturally end.
Maybe if you make the conversation more two sided, then she will feel more satisfied with the conversation, you won't feel hammered with a million questions, and both of you can get back to whatever you need to be doing.

I never said it was one-sided. I always talk with her and we communicate effectively. She will talk about anything from the job to asking me about personal life ( bfs, dating, family, school, etc.). I do not believe its anything she has to ask me. She is happy with me and continuously says so almost everyday. DB works longs hours and travels. I personally think she is lonely. They are quiet people and do not socialize too much with other couples. They even tend I stay in on the weekends. I think she is just dying for a friend or a person to talk with and I'm easy access. She ends to treat me like a friend with our conversations rather than an employee.

If this woman needs a friend, you could try to be a friend. Stop talking about yourself. Ask her about herself.

And no. That isn't your job, but it is the kind thing to do.

I disagree. A nanny is hired to be a caregiver not a friend for the mother. That is not her responsibility.