Another thread that went into nanny-bashing in the General Parenting Forum

[Anonymous]

A mother was saying how tired she was from just one morning with her toddler today. All other mothers were commiserating and tell her that they understood. Then one misguided poster mentioned how hard it must be for the poster's nanny to do the job five days a week with no husband to help her and the thread exploded with and comments about how the nannies get paid enough to try to make it look easy. When one poster said that appreciation and thanks are not out of line no matter how much a person is paid another poster accused her of being like "The Help".

So discouraging. SAHMs and moms on the weekend can talk about how difficult it is to be with their own kids but even another mother dare not mention that this should be a window into the lives of nannies who do it five days a week.

[Anonymous]

I love the one poster who said that the PP who said something nice about her nanny must be new because no one on DCUM is ever allowed to say anything nice or empathetic about their nanny.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand this vitriol as long as I live. I am a high school teacher in a deaf school. My job is tough. I say it all the time. Yes, I get paid for my job but that doesn't mitigate the fact that it is an emotionally tough and physically exhausting job. I appreciate when the administration and especially my student's parents thank me for the work I do with their kids. I like feeling appreciated and valued.

My two kids are under four and their nanny has a tough job. It is physically exhausting as well as a patience tester! Yes, she is paid and that doesn't mitigate the fact that is is hard to be in my home all day with a baby and a toddler. I also thank her and do my very best to show my appreciation for the work she does and the contribution she makes to my kids' lives. I want her to feel appreciated and valued.

[Anonymous]

I'm not an effusive person by nature but I do know that I should tell my nanny how much I appreciate her work with my son more often. If actions speak louder than words, we did give her the annual raise she asked for along with the benefits she requested immediately and without negotiation. But I know I could do better.

The other day I said something to her like - do you know that DS (14 months) knows all his colors? And the nanny just smiled and said that yes, she knew. It hit me that of course she knew since she taught them to him!!!

Look, I can be a social-jerk sometimes. But I do appreciate DS's nanny and will make an effort to tell her more often.

[Anonymous]

This is nothing new OP. they whine and complain about how hard it is to spend time with their kids, then come over and call our job easy to justify paying as little as possible. Quite the bitter bitchy bunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is nothing new OP. they whine and complain about how hard it is to spend time with their kids, then come over and call our job easy to justify paying as little as possible. Quite the bitter bitchy bunch.

The reality is that being with little kids is easier for some than others.
I do not like art projects. I do not like being messy or dirty. I do not like playing pretend - I like games that have goals and I am competitive. I like to be productive. I like deep discussions.
My nanny loves art projects and making "music". She does not mind muddy hands touching her pants or grass stains. She can play science lab, house, school, adventures, all the live-long day. She has the patience to play structured games that a preschooler can not follow the rules for.

So yes, it is MUCH easier for my nanny to be around my kids than it is for me. I love them, it's just that I'll be able to bond with them more when they're older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is nothing new OP. they whine and complain about how hard it is to spend time with their kids, then come over and call our job easy to justify paying as little as possible. Quite the bitter bitchy bunch.

The reality is that being with little kids is easier for some than others.
I do not like art projects. I do not like being messy or dirty. I do not like playing pretend - I like games that have goals and I am competitive. I like to be productive. I like deep discussions.
My nanny loves art projects and making "music". She does not mind muddy hands touching her pants or grass stains. She can play science lab, house, school, adventures, all the live-long day. She has the patience to play structured games that a preschooler can not follow the rules for.

So yes, it is MUCH easier for my nanny to be around my kids than it is for me. I love them, it's just that I'll be able to bond with them more when they're older.

Yes, I agree some people are meant to work with babies and young children while others are not. That, however does not mean that the person who does excel at working with children and is actually employed by you doesn't deserve credit, appreciation and the occasional "thank you" from her employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an effusive person by nature but I do know that I should tell my nanny how much I appreciate her work with my son more often. If actions speak louder than words, we did give her the annual raise she asked for along with the benefits she requested immediately and without negotiation. But I know I could do better.

The other day I said something to her like - do you know that DS (14 months) knows all his colors? And the nanny just smiled and said that yes, she knew. It hit me that of course she knew since she taught them to him!!![b]

Look, I can be a social-jerk sometimes. But I do appreciate DS's nanny and will make an effort to tell her more often.

I am happy to hear that you immediately realized that, OP. I'm sure your nanny know you better than you think and does feel appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is nothing new OP. they whine and complain about how hard it is to spend time with their kids, then come over and call our job easy to justify paying as little as possible. Quite the bitter bitchy bunch.

The reality is that being with little kids is easier for some than others.
I do not like art projects. I do not like being messy or dirty. I do not like playing pretend - I like games that have goals and I am competitive. I like to be productive. I like deep discussions.
My nanny loves art projects and making "music". She does not mind muddy hands touching her pants or grass stains. She can play science lab, house, school, adventures, all the live-long day. She has the patience to play structured games that a preschooler can not follow the rules for.

So yes, it is MUCH easier for my nanny to be around my kids than it is for me. I love them, it's just that I'll be able to bond with them more when they're older.

I don't doubt that it is easier for me to do those things than it is for you -- but that does not mean the job is EASY. No one finds muddy hands appealing... or enjoys listening to tantrums... or finds the 110th reading of "I'm A Little Dump Truck" interesting. I love competitive games in my life away from being a nanny (I am a marathon runner) and also like to be productive. I find teaching your kids to count extremely productive.

I hope you feel appreciated in your job, PP. I want to feel appreciated in mine as well. And that you cannot do my job should make you all the more appreciative.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? We need another thread about how hard nannies have it?

Muddy hands? Tantrums? You think these are stresses?

Stop with the whining, nannies.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't take it to heart.
The vast majority of the posters on that side have the thought process of a 13 year old and that is being generous.

There are a few adults that are capable of recognizing the good their nanny does without feeling insecure or threatened.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and I honestly feel like some of those posters hate being mothers, it's not just that they are bogged down in toddler years and are struggling from time to time, and are venting.

It seems like some of them truly hate it, and became parents just because, and if they had to do it all again wouldn't, but they can never admit that, so they overreact to comments.

Very similar to some of the nannies that post here. Notice I said some not all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? We need another thread about how hard nannies have it?

Muddy hands? Tantrums? You think these are stresses?

Stop with the whining, nannies.

You are so boring. No one is whining, Dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? We need another thread about how hard nannies have it?

Muddy hands? Tantrums? You think these are stresses?

Stop with the whining, nannies.

This is what one poster on the other thread wrote about staying home with their own children in response to the mother saying how hard it is:

"I admire your honesty OP.

What people do not realize is that caring for a young child really is the toughest job in the world. Bar none.

And until someone actually is faced with this duty, on their very own like you are....No one actually understands just how hard it really is.

It is so much easier for people to leave the house and go to work sometimes than to stay home and care for their children. Sounds ironic, but it really is true."


Sounds like Mommies are whining.

[Anonymous]

Some mothers hate the nanny for doing what she can't (or won't) do.