Nanny constantly renegotiating schedule

[Anonymous]

We love our current nanny and went the extra mile to accommodate her schedule, even adjusting our own work schedules to make it work with her. Her current schedule is 9-5:30 on most days (a few days/week she is able to arrive a bit earlier, at 8:45). However, she regularly asks for adjustments to her work schedule, which is really stressful for us as we both work. Originally, she thought she would be able to get to our home by 8:30, but that did not end up working out, so we adjusted her start time to 9 AM (with a corresponding adjustment to our own work schedules). Another example is her needing to leave by 3 PM every Friday for an entire month. Most recently she asked to leave at 5 PM instead of 5:30 on Fridays going forward. We try to accommodate most of her requests, but it's really stressful to deal with a constantly-shifting schedule, though perhaps equally stressful to deal with the discomfort that comes from telling your child's caregiver that you can't accommodate her. The constant requests are starting to irritate me though - maybe she does not understand that we, too, have jobs, where are expected to keep set hours. What is the market standard here? How should we deal with these requests? How much do you accommodate your nanny's schedule?

[Anonymous]

We've had the same person for three years this month. We told him the hours we'd like him to work, he said okay, and that's it. We hired someone to work when we need childcare. Our goal was to get childcare for our kid(s), not to provide someone with a job so they can earn a living.

If he asked for time off a couple of times a year that'd be fine.

[Anonymous]

what you describe is not reasonable. I understand changing the schedule once so everybody is happy, but then that is the schedule, period. if she wants to take other jobs, fine as long as she does it outside of her working hours as they have been set. I would just seat her down and say that this is the schedule, we work and need a nanny during these hours, and cannot change it because we cannot change out own schedule. if it does not work for her anymore, she can quit and find another job. you were too flexible and she is taking advantage.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, she may be taking advantage of your flexibility OP. She sees how easy it is to get you and your husband to accommodate her needs and she just gets more and more used to it.

What you need to do is nip it in the bud right now.

Let her know that you have done a lot of re-arranging your work schedule for her and that it is no longer an option to do so for her, barring only extreme emergencies ONLY. If she balks then that is a consequence that she brought on herself. And if you lose her because of it, then again...She brought that on herself.

This is not typical nanny behavior and you need and deserve someone who will not be calling the shots all the time.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

This is not typical nanny behavior at all - at least not good nanny behavior. We hired our wonderful nanny and we had to adjust her hours slightly twice and she adjusted perfectly. She has never asked us to change out schedules for her - ever.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here and I agree that this is unprofessional. Do you offer guaranteed hours? If not, then I could sort of see her feeling that she is entitled to adjust her availability, but if tou do, then she is way out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, she may be taking advantage of your flexibility OP. She sees how easy it is to get you and your husband to accommodate her needs and she just gets more and more used to it.

What you need to do is nip it in the bud right now.

Let her know that you have done a lot of re-arranging your work schedule for her and that it is no longer an option to do so for her, barring only extreme emergencies ONLY. If she balks then that is a consequence that she brought on herself. And if you lose her because of it, then again...She brought that on herself.

This is not typical nanny behavior and you need and deserve someone who will not be calling the shots all the time.

Good luck.

Yes, I agree with this - especially the bolded part. You have been very flexible and gracious but this isn't about accommodating her. You are hiring an employee for what your family needs. Hire to that, not to what the employee needs. You do not need to continue to accommodate her requests to the detriment of your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here and I agree that this is unprofessional. Do you offer guaranteed hours? If not, then I could sort of see her feeling that she is entitled to adjust her availability, but if tou do, then she is way out of line.

I think this is the key here. If you've guaranteed her hours, she has guaranteed her availability, and she is out of line here. If you haven't guaranteed her hours, well, there really isn't any reason that she can't change her availability at will. Of course that doesn't mean you have to continue working with her if her availability no longer suits your needs.

[Anonymous]

I think you can phrase it as you've already maxed out how many times you can reasonably change your schedule with your employer. Phrase it in terms of your professional limitations, don't focus on hers. She should connect the dots herself.

[Anonymous]

Totally unreasonable, even if she does not have guaranteed hours. It's called being a reliable employee. She's not reliable if you are uncertain whether the schedule you've agreed to will continue to be schedule, or if she'll ask for yet another change. It seems like she wants a different job from the one your family needs to fill. While it's painful to look for a new nanny, I'm of the opinion that it's worse to continue on with a nanny that causes you stress.

If your originally planned hours are what works for your family, you could have a frank discussion with her and make clear that she originally agreed to the position, you've attempted to be accommodating, but with her ever changing needs you're recognizing that this job may not be a good fit for her. You can let her know that the job is intended to be 8:30 - [whenever], and if it's not for her, you understand and wish her luck finding a position that is more in line with her needs.

You are the employer; your needs come first. Nanny needs to find something that fits with her needs, not try to change YOUR needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We love our current nanny and went the extra mile to accommodate her schedule, even adjusting our own work schedules to make it work with her. Her current schedule is 9-5:30 on most days (a few days/week she is able to arrive a bit earlier, at 8:45). However, she regularly asks for adjustments to her work schedule, which is really stressful for us as we both work. Originally, she thought she would be able to get to our home by 8:30, but that did not end up working out, so we adjusted her start time to 9 AM (with a corresponding adjustment to our own work schedules). Another example is her needing to leave by 3 PM every Friday for an entire month. Most recently she asked to leave at 5 PM instead of 5:30 on Fridays going forward. We try to accommodate most of her requests, but it's really stressful to deal with a constantly-shifting schedule, though perhaps equally stressful to deal with the discomfort that comes from telling your child's caregiver that you can't accommodate her. The constant requests are starting to irritate me though - maybe she does not understand that we, too, have jobs, where are expected to keep set hours. What is the market standard here? How should we deal with these requests? How much do you accommodate your nanny's schedule?

I'm sorry to hear this. This is NOT how work schedules are set and it sounds like it is negatively affect one or both of your full-time office jobs.
You have an unreliable nanny. She does not understand a very basic thing: You have a nanny because you both need to do your full-time jobs. Equally important is the quality of childcare. But the nanny needs to be doing two things well, caring for the child AND communicating/working with and for the parents.

You need a new nanny. Start interviewing, get a new one set and give 2 weeks notice to self-centered, unreliable nanny. This is abnormal and highly annoying behavior. Hope you don't get fired at your own jobs for coming in late and leaving work early so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We love our current nanny and went the extra mile to accommodate her schedule, even adjusting our own work schedules to make it work with her. Her current schedule is 9-5:30 on most days (a few days/week she is able to arrive a bit earlier, at 8:45). However, she regularly asks for adjustments to her work schedule, which is really stressful for us as we both work. Originally, she thought she would be able to get to our home by 8:30, but that did not end up working out, so we adjusted her start time to 9 AM (with a corresponding adjustment to our own work schedules). Another example is her needing to leave by 3 PM every Friday for an entire month. Most recently she asked to leave at 5 PM instead of 5:30 on Fridays going forward. We try to accommodate most of her requests, but it's really stressful to deal with a constantly-shifting schedule, though perhaps equally stressful to deal with the discomfort that comes from telling your child's caregiver that you can't accommodate her. The constant requests are starting to irritate me though - maybe she does not understand that we, too, have jobs, where are expected to keep set hours. What is the market standard here? How should we deal with these requests? How much do you accommodate your nanny's schedule?

How can she not "be able" to get to your house by 8:30am but can by 9am? Sounds like she has a AM job getting some other family's kids to school first.
Why is she needing to leave early on Fridays? Does she even give a reason? Does it make sense?
Why does it feel uncomfortable to tell your own nanny employee what her actual hours are? Is she bullying you or threatening to leave?
How often is she making you late to work by blindsiding you with her personal requests and schedule changes?
Does she speak English alright? Or selective English (i.e. acts confused when it's something important or unfavorable, otherwise is fine).

[Anonymous]

I think it is ridiculous for you to continue allowing your nanny to walk all over you with the schedule. As a PP said, you a hire a nanny for your work schedule, and that is usually set in stone. I worked for a family that was a bit flexible as MB worked from home, so I was able to ask for adjustments in the schedule by 30 minutes to an hour when my school schedule changed in the beginning of a new semester, but it does not seem like this is what your nanny is doing.

Did she tell you what her other commitments are that are interfering with the work schedule? Personally, I was always able to come in as early as my bosses needed me to because there is literally nothing else I could be doing in the morning unless I was working for another family, but even then it would be hard to find a job like that.

[Anonymous]

How much flexibility do you require?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, how much can you and your spouse bend your jobs around for your constant nanny time changes before you look like an underperformer at the office?