Hateful posters

[Anonymous]

The outright mean girl attitude on this forum has exploded, of late. I'm not a regular poster here by any means- I've only started one thrrad, last summer, and all the replies were very kind. I come here for ideas and information occasionally, but for the past few months, it's been excruciating, watching the most decent people get eviscerated by someone who seems to hate nannies.
What gives? Just trolls? I'm a really kind, sensitive nanny and although some folks need a stern talking to, seems lately that someone thinks all of us are horrible. It's just hard to get any advice on this forum anymore.

[Anonymous]

If you want my opinion I believe the hateful posts are made by 1, possibly two people. I think they sit on this forum and bash nannies because they want to be one but can't for whatever reason. They're jealous trolls who have to stir up trouble and put others down to make themselves feel important or relevant.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you - though I think there is quite a bit of mom bashing also.

It's a mean, nasty place here - interspersed with occasionally really helpful feedback.

Pretty tough to navigate without getting drawn in or feeling like you're falling victim to just a couple of especially nasty people taunting us all for sport.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

First of all, huge exaggerations there.

Second, so? All forums have some amount of inanity. Does that give you an excuse to be rude, or nasty? How does it feel? Because kind humans don't speak to others that way, even anon.

Third, many of the nasty remarks have been about normal nanny issues, like guaranteed hours.

Fourth, you can call out inanity without being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

And there she is, right on cue. You do realize PP that 1) NONE of the things you listed actually happened and 2) if you don't like a thread or this website you are not obligated to hang around, right? Does it make you feel better to be an ass? Are you getting paid for it? Does it make you feel smarter? I really don't understand what the benefit is from it. There must be something in it for you or you wouldn't do it, so please, enlighten us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

And there she is, right on cue. You do realize PP that 1) NONE of the things you listed actually happened and 2) if you don't like a thread or this website you are not obligated to hang around, right? Does it make you feel better to be an ass? Are you getting paid for it? Does it make you feel smarter? I really don't understand what the benefit is from it. There must be something in it for you or you wouldn't do it, so please, enlighten us.

I found it funny and had a good laugh. Loosen up people

[Anonymous]

Not every human is kind.
People can respond anyway they wish.
You cannot control another's response.
You can only control your own.
You can continue to respond with being kind.
You can ignore those who choose not to .
Threads like these do nothing but fan the flame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

And there she is, right on cue. You do realize PP that 1) NONE of the things you listed actually happened and 2) if you don't like a thread or this website you are not obligated to hang around, right? Does it make you feel better to be an ass? Are you getting paid for it? Does it make you feel smarter? I really don't understand what the benefit is from it. There must be something in it for you or you wouldn't do it, so please, enlighten us.

The irony of this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

First of all, huge exaggerations there.

Second, so? All forums have some amount of inanity. Does that give you an excuse to be rude, or nasty? How does it feel? Because kind humans don't speak to others that way, even anon.

Third, many of the nasty remarks have been about normal nanny issues, like guaranteed hours.

Fourth, you can call out inanity without being a jerk.

This one is ironic as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

And there she is, right on cue. You do realize PP that 1) NONE of the things you listed actually happened and 2) if you don't like a thread or this website you are not obligated to hang around, right? Does it make you feel better to be an ass? Are you getting paid for it? Does it make you feel smarter? I really don't understand what the benefit is from it. There must be something in it for you or you wouldn't do it, so please, enlighten us.

Actually all of those things have happened in the last week on this forum. Two of them are still on the first page! (So I changed one or two minor facts, the general stupidity of the original posts is still there.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

First of all, huge exaggerations there.

Second, so? All forums have some amount of inanity. Does that give you an excuse to be rude, or nasty? How does it feel? Because kind humans don't speak to others that way, even anon.

Third, many of the nasty remarks have been about normal nanny issues, like guaranteed hours.

Fourth, you can call out inanity without being a jerk.

This one is ironic as well.

I'm the OP, and I wasn't attempting to fan the flames or be ironic. I would like this forum to at least be what it was last summer. There's always been shitty posters and there always will be, but as of late, it's been so bad, Jeff even had to come in and clean up one posting about Indian bosses because of the outright hatred. I read other sections of DCuM and it's not as nasty as it has become here, of late.
I have really honest intentions. I wanted to ask for some very serious, heartfelt advice but I'm not sure it's worth it anymore. But I can't post on the general parenting forum. I'm stuck here with a few decent folks over run by some trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the problem is the numerous inane and petty threads posted again and again. It's just one dumb question after another.

"I need to take a day off to see a doctor so I don't die, is this ok?"

"I missed 14 days of work last month and now it's snowing, do I have to go in?"

"My nanny shit on the rug and didn't clean it up because she said it's not part of 'light housework'. Who has to clean this shit off the rug?"

"Nanny had sex with her boyfriend next to babies crib while he slept. I watched it on the nanny cam she doesn't know about. Should I start looking for a new nanny?"

"Just interviewed a nanny who seemed great but she told me she wanted $22 an hour, can I counter with $10? We can't afford much."

The list goes on and on and on and on.

Truthfully, In my opinion is not to engage with the trolls or nasty posters. Making threads like these or responding to every irritating response only encourages them. Just report and move on. You also have to be open to the idea that just because someone is direct and to the point and doesn't spend time coddlling someone doesn't mean they are being nasty or a troll.

If you are truly looking for solid nanny advice there are other resources. If you like I can share with you.

First of all, huge exaggerations there.

Second, so? All forums have some amount of inanity. Does that give you an excuse to be rude, or nasty? How does it feel? Because kind humans don't speak to others that way, even anon.

Third, many of the nasty remarks have been about normal nanny issues, like guaranteed hours.

Fourth, you can call out inanity without being a jerk.

This one is ironic as well.

I'm the OP, and I wasn't attempting to fan the flames or be ironic. I would like this forum to at least be what it was last summer. There's always been shitty posters and there always will be, but as of late, it's been so bad, Jeff even had to come in and clean up one posting about Indian bosses because of the outright hatred. I read other sections of DCuM and it's not as nasty as it has become here, of late.
I have really honest intentions. I wanted to ask for some very serious, heartfelt advice but I'm not sure it's worth it anymore. But I can't post on the general parenting forum. I'm stuck here with a few decent folks over run by some trolls.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you on this OP.

It seems there is a very strong division on here between the MomBosses vs. the Nannies and I see much of the debating over salaries.

I think a lot of the people on here are having issues in their own lives and instead of talking directly to the people in real life, they instead come on this forum and take out some of their anger and frustration out on the posters on here which can be quite unfair.

I think MomBosses and Nannies should all work together, but I guess there is too much of a conflict of interest here. I personally do not think so, but think of it like the Rep. vs. the Democrats. Big conflicts of interests even though the main focus should be on running an efficient government that works well for ALL people. Same for MBs and Nannies....The main focus should be on raising and caring for a precious child.

This is the problem a lot of MBs have. In the grand scheme of things is your job the most important thing in life to you? Are your children? What is the most important part of your job to you?

This is a job, albeit an important one, but a job nonetheless. We do it for money, and it becomes even more about the money the more we get the impression that we are expected to devote our lives to our families and expect nothing in return. MBs are super quick to treat us like mere disposable employees when convenient, and at other times we are doing the most important job in the world. It's hard for both sides to reconcile these ideas, but MBs are truly the ones with the most at stake. Treat your nanny like the person who has essentially volunteered to love your kid (because you do not pay her what the job is worth, just like teachers, nurses, and other undervalued jobs) and not a commodity you milk for all its worth, and you can avoid so many of the problems posted here.