The benefits of a long-trem nanny

[Anonymous]

We have a truly wonderful nanny for our now 3 year old son. I've actually never known of another nanny quite as good as she is. And at this point we all work together like a well-oiled machine.

We are expecting our second child this June and nanny will care for both kids (DC 1 will be in preschool). I know we will continue to increase her salary annually as we have been doing and I know that she will end up being very expensive by the time the new baby starts school full time. However I think it is worth it. Well worth it. Not just because she is fantastic but because it is better for my children.

I know this forum is known for snotty comments and trolling, but I know others must feel the way that I do. To give your children one good nanny for their childhood is a blessing of security and comfort.

[Anonymous]

My brother and sister-in-law have had the same loving and sweet nanny for their children from the birth of my older niece (who is now 10) and it has been great for the kids to have that stability and consistency. They love their nanny, of course, but they also trust that their nanny will be there for them.

I want the same for my soon-to-be. Of course many things can come into play to make that not possible but that is certainly my goal in hiring a nanny. And will be in my mind in keeping a nanny happy and feel appreciated.

[Anonymous]

We certainly hope to keep our nanny through my son's early years (he's 1.5 now) and keep her for our second child (that we hope to have). I agree that having one good and nurturing caregiver for your children is beyond valuable for their self-esteem, security and development. We got lucky finding our one and only nanny - I will do whatever I can to keep her for my son''s sake.

[Anonymous]

I love our current nanny but I honestly (and by honestly I mean don't flame me, it's just my opinion) don't see the value in keeping the same nanny for your kids whole childhood. If it happens great but I don't see it as being any more or less beneficial than other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love our current nanny but I honestly (and by honestly I mean don't flame me, it's just my opinion) don't see the value in keeping the same nanny for your kids whole childhood. If it happens great but I don't see it as being any more or less beneficial than other options.

Stability and reliability are always beneficial. This has been proven over and over again. Our children's primary care-giving relationships - with the mother, father, grandparent, nanny - lay the foundation for their future ability to form emotional attachments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love our current nanny but I honestly (and by honestly I mean don't flame me, it's just my opinion) don't see the value in keeping the same nanny for your kids whole childhood. If it happens great but I don't see it as being any more or less beneficial than other options.

Not OP but a nanny is caring for your child often 50 hours a week - mostly waking hours. Of course having one nanny the child loves for their entire developmental years would be the best option over multiple nannies who come and go on the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love our current nanny but I honestly (and by honestly I mean don't flame me, it's just my opinion) don't see the value in keeping the same nanny for your kids whole childhood. If it happens great but I don't see it as being any more or less beneficial than other options.

Stability and reliability are always beneficial. This has been proven over and over again. Our children's primary care-giving relationships - with the mother, father, grandparent, nanny - lay the foundation for their future ability to form emotional attachments.

I understand your reasoning, but a nanny is just a caregiver. They aren't family, they aren't there for the important stuff. I can see just as much benefit in having multiple nannies so child learns that there are many people out there that can care for them and help them and love them. Like I said, I just don't see one side or the other as being better or worse.

[Anonymous]

We have not been able to keep a consistent nanny (we move frequently). I feel like most of the benefits of consistency accrue to me, but I can see the other side, too.

Part of this is my personality. It would be hard for me to have such a long term nanny and not feel obligated to make her more like a family member, which is just not my style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love our current nanny but I honestly (and by honestly I mean don't flame me, it's just my opinion) don't see the value in keeping the same nanny for your kids whole childhood. If it happens great but I don't see it as being any more or less beneficial than other options.

Stability and reliability are always beneficial. This has been proven over and over again. Our children's primary care-giving relationships - with the mother, father, grandparent, nanny - lay the foundation for their future ability to form emotional attachments.

I understand your reasoning, but a nanny is just a caregiver. They aren't family, they aren't there for the important stuff. I can see just as much benefit in having multiple nannies so child learns that there are many people out there that can care for them and help them and love them. Like I said, I just don't see one side or the other as being better or worse.

"Just a caregiver" is the difference between life and death to a dependent child for 50 hours a week. (ie "Nanny has never forgotten to get me at school", "Nanny has never not fed me or made me afraid") so the child can depend on the nanny and feel secure - all this starts all over again with a new nanny.

It isn't about family or long tern relationships (so don't be threatened) it is about the reliability and consistency of constant care.

A swinging door policy can never be good for anyone but especially bad for a very dependent being.


Google a few studies.

[Anonymous]

I had the same nanny from the time I was born until I was about twelve. After twelve, nanny still was around for weekend babysitting and came to my birthday parties. I still have a warm and loving relationship with her. No, of course it is not the same as my relationship to my mother but it was profound for me. I am very self-assured, confident and a risk-taker in business -- no doubt in part to the constant, dependable care of my nanny. My parents traveled a lot for their work and it didn't bother me or freak me out (like it did a lot of my friends) because I knew my nanny always had my back!!!

Yes, of course I want the same for my children (when I have them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same nanny from the time I was born until I was about twelve. After twelve, nanny still was around for weekend babysitting and came to my birthday parties. I still have a warm and loving relationship with her. No, of course it is not the same as my relationship to my mother but it was profound for me. I am very self-assured, confident and a risk-taker in business -- no doubt in part to the constant, dependable care of my nanny. My parents traveled a lot for their work and it didn't bother me or freak me out (like it did a lot of my friends) because I knew my nanny always had my back!!!

Yes, of course I want the same for my children (when I have them).

That is quite the stretch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the same nanny from the time I was born until I was about twelve. After twelve, nanny still was around for weekend babysitting and came to my birthday parties. I still have a warm and loving relationship with her. No, of course it is not the same as my relationship to my mother but it was profound for me. I am very self-assured, confident and a risk-taker in business -- no doubt in part to the constant, dependable care of my nanny. My parents traveled a lot for their work and it didn't bother me or freak me out (like it did a lot of my friends) because I knew my nanny always had my back!!!

Yes, of course I want the same for my children (when I have them).

That is quite the stretch.

In your completely unfounded opinion since you don't know me, my family, my former nanny or my childhood.

But thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the same nanny from the time I was born until I was about twelve. After twelve, nanny still was around for weekend babysitting and came to my birthday parties. I still have a warm and loving relationship with her. No, of course it is not the same as my relationship to my mother but it was profound for me. I am very self-assured, confident and a risk-taker in business -- no doubt in part to the constant, dependable care of my nanny. My parents traveled a lot for their work and it didn't bother me or freak me out (like it did a lot of my friends) because I knew my nanny always had my back!!!

Yes, of course I want the same for my children (when I have them).

That is quite the stretch.

In your completely unfounded opinion since you don't know me, my family, my former nanny or my childhood.

But thanks for sharing.

"The same woman picked me up form school for 12 years and thus I became a risk-taker in business."

OK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the same nanny from the time I was born until I was about twelve. After twelve, nanny still was around for weekend babysitting and came to my birthday parties. I still have a warm and loving relationship with her. No, of course it is not the same as my relationship to my mother but it was profound for me. I am very self-assured, confident and a risk-taker in business -- no doubt in part to the constant, dependable care of my nanny. My parents traveled a lot for their work and it didn't bother me or freak me out (like it did a lot of my friends) because I knew my nanny always had my back!!!

Yes, of course I want the same for my children (when I have them).

That is quite the stretch.

In your completely unfounded opinion since you don't know me, my family, my former nanny or my childhood.

But thanks for sharing.

"The same woman picked me up form school for 12 years and thus I became a risk-taker in business."

OK

Let it go, PP. You are embarrassing yourself as you clearly have jealously issues with your nanny and SO want her not to matter to your child. It is so apparent to everyone.

Leave this PP alone. She had a good relationship with her nanny. Why do you care how she views her own life and her own success. It has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the same nanny from the time I was born until I was about twelve. After twelve, nanny still was around for weekend babysitting and came to my birthday parties. I still have a warm and loving relationship with her. No, of course it is not the same as my relationship to my mother but it was profound for me. I am very self-assured, confident and a risk-taker in business -- no doubt in part to the constant, dependable care of my nanny. My parents traveled a lot for their work and it didn't bother me or freak me out (like it did a lot of my friends) because I knew my nanny always had my back!!!

Yes, of course I want the same for my children (when I have them).

That is quite the stretch.

In your completely unfounded opinion since you don't know me, my family, my former nanny or my childhood.

But thanks for sharing.

"The same woman picked me up form school for 12 years and thus I became a risk-taker in business."

OK

Let it go, PP. You are embarrassing yourself as you clearly have jealously issues with your nanny and SO want her not to matter to your child. It is so apparent to everyone.

Leave this PP alone. She had a good relationship with her nanny. Why do you care how she views her own life and her own success. It has nothing to do with you.

+1 Just stop, OP.