Son is dissolving into tears when his nanny leaves.

[Anonymous]

DS is 16 months and has had the same wonderful nanny since his birth. DH does the hand off in the evenings with our nanny (I don't get home until an hour later). Up until two weeks ago, the hand-offs have been happy - DS waves good-bye to her, blows kisses and that is it. But for the last two weeks he has been collapsing on the floor in heartbroken sobs and big tears when he hears the door close behind the nanny. It is pitiful! DH tries to console him, tells him that nanny will be back tomorrow, but he cries it out for about fifteen minutes. Then he is okay.

Is this just a stage? Is there a better way for his nanny to leave him at the end of the day. She does give him warnings before she is leaving and he helps her get her bag and coat, hands her her shoes - and she tells him in an excited voice that she is coming back tomorrow. They do the whole bye-bye routine and DS is happy - until he hears the door click shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 16 months and has had the same wonderful nanny since his birth. DH does the hand off in the evenings with our nanny (I don't get home until an hour later). Up until two weeks ago, the hand-offs have been happy - DS waves good-bye to her, blows kisses and that is it. But for the last two weeks he has been collapsing on the floor in heartbroken sobs and big tears when he hears the door close behind the nanny. It is pitiful! DH tries to console him, tells him that nanny will be back tomorrow, but he cries it out for about fifteen minutes. Then he is okay.

Is this just a stage? Is there a better way for his nanny to leave him at the end of the day. She does give him warnings before she is leaving and he helps her get her bag and coat, hands her her shoes - and she tells him in an excited voice that she is coming back tomorrow. They do the whole bye-bye routine and DS is happy - until he hears the door click shut.

Completely normal and it sounds like she is doing all the right things. DH could try having a fun thing set up to do after she leaves- coloring, bubbles, etc- they could both tell him that's coming next after nanny goes home. But it's just separation anxiety- which sounds sad but it's an important part of his development. My current charge has had SA with me and her parents at various times. GL!!

[Anonymous]

It is a stage that comes and goes. Both our kids went thru it with their nanny as well with DH and I at different times. It does break your heart but by next week he could be fine again. I would take PP's advice though and have DH plan something fun for as soon as he gets home that the nanny could tell your DS about and get him excited.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, OP, this stage will pass. Little ones have no control over how we all come and go out of their lives or understand why. Saying their routine good-byes to each other is probably fun for your DS but the reality hits him when he hears the nanny close the door.

Poor little man - he'll get over it, believe me.

[Anonymous]

"Poor little man" is right - it's probably breaking his nanny's heart to hear him cry front the other side of the door, too.


And yes, this is a common stage.

[Anonymous]

OMG, it used to rip my heart out when my charge would do this!! But it was just a phase - she wanted what she wanted and she wanted me to stay. It had nothing to do with not loving her parents or not being happy to see them. She just wanted me to stay and play some more. Fast forward two years when I tell her I have to wash her hair and I get, "It time you go home, Nanny."

[Anonymous]

Your DS loves his nanny - that is a good thing. And yes, I echo the other posters, this is a phase he will soon grow out of.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

[Anonymous]

This is just a sign that your child has a healthy, loving relationship with his nanny. This is a good thing!
There will be times when he'll want nanny, mom and dad.
You've got a good nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

Kids need routines. They need something they can understand and count on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

Kids need routines. They need something they can understand and count on.

He is 16 months old. That is not a kid. It seems rather unhealthy at this point. Causing him anxiety. I would stop doing it as it clearly upsets him. The dad should distract him and the nanny leaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

Kids need routines. They need something they can understand and count on.

He is 16 months old. That is not a kid. It seems rather unhealthy at this point. Causing him anxiety. I would stop doing it as it clearly upsets him. The dad should distract him and the nanny leaves.

I could not disagree with you more. The toddler needs the routine and needs to know when his mother, father or nanny are leaving. It is wrong to sneak out on a child! And if you reread the original post - the little boy loves the good-bye routine - it is the sound of the closing door that gets him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

Kids need routines. They need something they can understand and count on.

He is 16 months old. That is not a kid. It seems rather unhealthy at this point. Causing him anxiety. I would stop doing it as it clearly upsets him. The dad should distract him and the nanny leaves.

I could not disagree with you more. The toddler needs the routine and needs to know when his mother, father or nanny are leaving. It is wrong to sneak out on a child! And if you reread the original post - the little boy loves the good-bye routine - it is the sound of the closing door that gets him.

And I couldn't disagree with you more. All of these adults know they are hurting a child but they keep doing it anyway. That's abuse he can't stand up for himself it's up to the adults in his life to make a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

Kids need routines. They need something they can understand and count on.

He is 16 months old. That is not a kid. It seems rather unhealthy at this point. Causing him anxiety. I would stop doing it as it clearly upsets him. The dad should distract him and the nanny leaves.

This is terrible advice! Every baby book and article I've read on separation anxiety has said that it's a bad idea to sneak out on a child when he is distracted. That will make the anxiety worse. He won't want the nanny to ever leave his sight because he'll worry she will disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do the good bye routine just leave. Same with parents just leave.

Kids need routines. They need something they can understand and count on.

He is 16 months old. That is not a kid. It seems rather unhealthy at this point. Causing him anxiety. I would stop doing it as it clearly upsets him. The dad should distract him and the nanny leaves.

I could not disagree with you more. The toddler needs the routine and needs to know when his mother, father or nanny are leaving. It is wrong to sneak out on a child! And if you reread the original post - the little boy loves the good-bye routine - it is the sound of the closing door that gets him.

And I couldn't disagree with you more. All of these adults know they are hurting a child but they keep doing it anyway. That's abuse he can't stand up for himself it's up to the adults in his life to make a change.

Oh for God's sake - READ A BOOK on child psychology! You are boring everyone with your blatant ignorance.