Nanny can get DC to do things calmly that DH and I can't.

[Anonymous]

Is this standard? Our nanny is great and has lots of experience with kids. I've noticed that she can get DC to open her mouth for teeth brushing when DH and I can't as well as get DC to lie quietly on the changing table when she thrashes around for DH and me. DC is only 16 months old.

Nanny also has a self-described "nanny bag of tricks" to do things like get DC to eat more - she counts her green beans (example) and tells DC that "number seven" is her favorite and turns her back for a second. DC will then eat "number seven" and wait for nanny to turn back and howl in laughter at the nanny's overblown reaction to "number seven" being gone. Repeat counting and another favorite number seven... until DC has finished her green beans.

So my questions: Is it normal for such a young toddler to have different behavior with her parents than her nanny?

And can I steal nanny's "bits" to get DC to do what I want her to do?

[Anonymous]

You can try. Remember none of the things nanny does is rocket science, it's not a position that requires brilliance or a PhD, only time and patience. Nanny is being paid to be with your DC, so she has no issue with spending an hour tricking your child into eating but do you? Do you want to spend an hour of time and constant attention to get your child to eat? Do you want to do those over blown reactions? My assumption since you came here to post about instead of just incorporating the things you witnessed into your own life and routine means you see that it's an annoying investment.

A lot of "nanny tricks" are fairly obvious. As long as you are willing to invest the time and change some habits you can get your child to behave, or try new things, or do almost anything you want.

[Anonymous]

My charge behaves the same way. What I notice is that her parents spend so little time with her comparatively, that during the time they do have together, the parents don't want to bring it down by being too focussed on discipline. They give in to things that I never would, in order to prevent meltdowns. The result is a child who has adapted to 2 sets of expectations, and I rarely deal with meltdowns but they are constantly on the verge of one. The parents try to make it about how "good" I am with her, but really, I'm just consistent.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can try to do your nanny's "bits" but every time I do something funny or fun that I've seen DC's nanny do, DC just gives me this look like, "You're pathetic, Mom - stop!"

[Anonymous]

I've posted about this before.

My niece was terrified of elevators when she was four. We live on the 8th floor so taking the stairs when they came to visit was exhausting. My sister and BIL would try to talk my niece into getting into the elevator, explaining how safe it was and telling her how they understood her feelings but...

One day, when our nanny agreed to take my niece and baby to the park, she just told my niece, "Oh stop - you're being silly. Get in the elevator." And my niece did! Seems we were encouraging her irrational fear by talking about it!!

Sometimes we forget when we hire an experienced nanny that we may be first time parents but this is not the nanny's "first time at the rodeo"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My charge behaves the same way. What I notice is that her parents spend so little time with her comparatively, that during the time they do have together, the parents don't want to bring it down by being too focussed on discipline. They give in to things that I never would, in order to prevent meltdowns. The result is a child who has adapted to 2 sets of expectations, and I rarely deal with meltdowns but they are constantly on the verge of one. The parents try to make it about how "good" I am with her, but really, I'm just consistent.

Same boat here. My charge is a terror for his parents because they always give into his demands. He's two. I don't get that from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've posted about this before.

My niece was terrified of elevators when she was four. We live on the 8th floor so taking the stairs when they came to visit was exhausting. My sister and BIL would try to talk my niece into getting into the elevator, explaining how safe it was and telling her how they understood her feelings but...

One day, when our nanny agreed to take my niece and baby to the park, she just told my niece, "Oh stop - you're being silly. Get in the elevator." And my niece did! Seems we were encouraging her irrational fear by talking about it!!

Sometimes we forget when we hire an experienced nanny that we may be first time parents but this is not the nanny's "first time at the rodeo"!

So very true. We pay more for an experienced nanny and it just makes sense to follow her lead on certain things if we've never done this before. Neither DH nor I ever even babysat as teenagers and are both the youngest in our families.

[Anonymous]

All children are terrors for their parents and wonderful for other people.
It has nothing to do with the nanny.

I was a SAHM for many years. I know this as a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All children are terrors for their parents and wonderful for other people.
It has nothing to do with the nanny.

I was a SAHM for many years. I know this as a fact.

+100 this. As a nanny almost every child except 1 has been just wonderful for me. The moment the parents walk in its like the circus came to town and they go crazy. But they are all very calm and lovely when I'm with them. Yes the toddlers have there moments but they don't act like monsters for me like they do the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can try. Remember none of the things nanny does is rocket science, it's not a position that requires brilliance or a PhD, only time and patience. Nanny is being paid to be with your DC, so she has no issue with spending an hour tricking your child into eating but do you? Do you want to spend an hour of time and constant attention to get your child to eat? Do you want to do those over blown reactions? My assumption since you came here to post about instead of just incorporating the things you witnessed into your own life and routine means you see that it's an annoying investment.

A lot of "nanny tricks" are fairly obvious. As long as you are willing to invest the time and change some habits you can get your child to behave, or try new things, or do almost anything you want.

that's so condesending. some of the posts on here unbelievably rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can try. Remember none of the things nanny does is rocket science, it's not a position that requires brilliance or a PhD, only time and patience. Nanny is being paid to be with your DC, so she has no issue with spending an hour tricking your child into eating but do you? Do you want to spend an hour of time and constant attention to get your child to eat? Do you want to do those over blown reactions? My assumption since you came here to post about instead of just incorporating the things you witnessed into your own life and routine means you see that it's an annoying investment.

A lot of "nanny tricks" are fairly obvious. As long as you are willing to invest the time and change some habits you can get your child to behave, or try new things, or do almost anything you want.

that's so condesending. some of the posts on here unbelievably rude.

Oh sorry, I should have wrote nannying requires intense skill and years of training. OP don't even attempt to use those advanced psychological nanny tricks on your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can try. Remember none of the things nanny does is rocket science, it's not a position that requires brilliance or a PhD, only time and patience. Nanny is being paid to be with your DC, so she has no issue with spending an hour tricking your child into eating but do you? Do you want to spend an hour of time and constant attention to get your child to eat? Do you want to do those over blown reactions? My assumption since you came here to post about instead of just incorporating the things you witnessed into your own life and routine means you see that it's an annoying investment.

A lot of "nanny tricks" are fairly obvious. As long as you are willing to invest the time and change some habits you can get your child to behave, or try new things, or do almost anything you want.

that's so condesending. some of the posts on here unbelievably rude.

Oh sorry, I should have wrote nannying requires intense skill and years of training. OP don't even attempt to use those advanced psychological nanny tricks on your child.

You're a nasty one, aren't you?
Being a good, successful nanny requires intense skill and years of training.
Why do you feel the need to shit all over a person who is obviously good at her job?
Jealous?

[Anonymous]

Yep, that's pretty normal OP. And there will be things you will be able to get your child to do that your husband won't, etc...

If you can learn from your nanny that is fantastic. Don't feel badly about it - know that her tricks come from years of experience - I'm sure she would be thrilled to teach you some of her tricks.

Sometimes it's just as simple as someone else expecting things of your child that you wouldn't assume are possible, or treating your child as slightly older/more capable than you realize. I've had this experience to - my "baby" was suddenly able to do things I didn't realize she was ready for.

It's pretty normal. Sounds like you have a nanny you can, and are willing to, learn from. That' great! Good job hiring!!

[Anonymous]

Nanny here with charges who get constant compliments with me but are awful for mom and dad. MB has tried to copy my "tricks," but it's not about any one technique; it is about the overall relationship with the child. I have high expectations, but I also provide a calm and structured framework. MB has low expectations (e.g., will spend 20 minutes reminding them not to bite at the park), and provides much less consistency. That framework is a big part of her discipline problems. I suggest a discipline course or two for you and your DH (not because I think you are doing anything badly, just because I think MOST first-time parents would have a much easier life if they knew more about child development and discipline texhniques generally).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All children are terrors for their parents and wonderful for other people.
It has nothing to do with the nanny.

I was a SAHM for many years. I know this as a fact.

MB here and this is not true. Our nanny is very lax with the kids while we are not. Our two listen to us much more than the nanny and are more apt to be terrors with her than with us.