How do you let your AP know you don't want to extend?

[Anonymous]

W/o hurting her feelings. This is our third AP and we've never been in this situation. We extended with our first and the second was a second-year AP. We LIKE our current AP but don't feel that most of the issues we have with her will only worsen if we extend. We aren't totally sure SHE wants to extend (or that she would even want it to be with us), but she has dropped a couple hints. I would like to end on a high note so we can keep in touch as friends so I guess I'm looking for some "white lie" justification.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure that you can, but I would advise getting out in front and ripping off the band-aid so that you aren't leaving it hanging. I would maybe just state that you've decided that it's better all around if you leave while the party's still fun, and you have loved having her as an au pair and want to stay in touch.

[Anonymous]

We have been hosting for 7yrs now. I know this is not super helpful now, but I always say while matching that this is a one year gig. If you change your mind you can always ask.
But if you never bring it up, or if you mentioned the 'possibility' during interviewing, I could see how that would be uncomfortable if you decide not to extend.

We had this issue once before. 6m into our year I told AP that we were only in it for one year, unless she had compelling reasons to stay (I.e.- career changing opportunities). I start my search 6m early so I didn't give her much time to think and I went ahead and found the next AP.

[Anonymous]

For me, I haven't had an experience that I wanted to extend with an au pair, but since you have, it's a bit harder.

I would just plant ideas/words here or there...like 'hey soon it will be time to interview a new au pair. I'd love your feedback' or 'what do you think I should look for in a new au pair'...

Or you can use the excuse if she brings it up that you found extending not right for you and from now on you think one year is good for both parties. it was too hard on your kids to say good bye last time you extended and you don't want that again.

Or you can say you are looking for a skill that this au pair doesn't have (like a sport or driving, or sth like that).

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You want to meet someone new? We said the first time that we viewed the AP program as a way to expose ourselves to a new culture each year and help lots of young people come to the US. But it's tough, we're having the same issue. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

She'll probably be relieved. Just tell her do she can make her plans.

[Anonymous]

We always go into AP year saying we don't plan to extend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always go into AP year saying we don't plan to extend.

We are exactly the same. We did ask one AP if he would consider extending, but he (rightly) was focused on returning home and continuing his education. We only match with people who have serious plans for when they return home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always go into AP year saying we don't plan to extend.

We are exactly the same. We did ask one AP if he would consider extending, but he (rightly) was focused on returning home and continuing his education. We only match with people who have serious plans for when they return home.

+1