Help Us Work of the kinks if our offer

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone, So here is the deal. We are looking to start a nanny share in DC. There will be 3 boys (15 months, 19 months, and 16 months). Currently all 3 boys are in the same daycare and in general we are having a good experience. However, the daycare is going through some changes- and it seems like it is not fitting our needs. One of our favorite teachers from the room approached us about doing a nanny share with the boys. We are not sold on the idea- and neither is she, we are just talking at this point. Making the change from daycare to nanny would be a true transition for all of us and we just want to make sure we know what we are getting into. It is also important to note that all families live in the same condo building.

Question 1: Pay. We were thinking 1000 a week. Is this crazy low?

Question 2: Hours: Hours would be 8-6, M-F but not all the kids for the entire time. For example our kiddo would be 9-4, another boy is 8-5, and the third boy is 10-6. Not that it matters- her time is all on the clock- but at least it would be staggered.

Question 3: Time Off. We are all of the week of Christmas/new years and federal holidays. We were thinking of giving the same (paid) time off. How many more vacation does are typical?

Question 4: What are forgetting?

All Moms are also in agreement that there would be no extra duties- other than hanging out with the kids.

Please critique or flame away!

[Anonymous]

Regarding the hours: How will you work out who will host? Will she start at condo A and then move to condo C for the remaining hours?

Where will the babies sleep? Will whoever hosts have room for two additional pack n plays? High chairs?

Time off: 2 weeks is typical. One of your choosing (Christmas/new years, in this case) and one week of her choosing. Federal holidays, and a week of sick days.

Pay: tricky because of the staggered hours.
Family A needs 50 hrs/week
Family B needs 35 hrs/week
Family C needs 40 hrs/week

That averages to about $8 per family per hour if I did the math right?

[Anonymous]

Yikes!

What nanny in her right mind would want to take on such a responsibility? She will be so tired and stressed out she won't be able to think straight. I think you should hire two nannies. One cannot do it effectively. Even something simple as using the bathroom or getting a drink of water in the kitchen can be a challenge with three hungry and tired children at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!

What nanny in her right mind would want to take on such a responsibility? She will be so tired and stressed out she won't be able to think straight. I think you should hire two nannies. One cannot do it effectively. Even something simple as using the bathroom or getting a drink of water in the kitchen can be a challenge with three hungry and tired children at this age.

Thanks for the flame! ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!

What nanny in her right mind would want to take on such a responsibility? She will be so tired and stressed out she won't be able to think straight. I think you should hire two nannies. One cannot do it effectively. Even something simple as using the bathroom or getting a drink of water in the kitchen can be a challenge with three hungry and tired children at this age.

It's not because YOU can't do it that other nannies can't !

It's a matter of being organized. If you can't manage 3 little kids at the same time, truth is you're not a good nanny.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the biggest issue is going to be the space that you plan to use for the share. Partly because of the staggered hours, partly because kids that age still need a lot of equipment (highchairs cribs etc.) and partly because, if she is coming from a daycare background, then she is used to having a workspace that is really and truly well kid proofed. As a PP pointed out, many nannies would have trouble completing basic tasks like getting bottles ready or going to the bathroom with three such little ones. If she is from a day care setting, and she is used to handling those things by a) turning supervision of the children over to a coworker, and b) having the kids in an area that is completely safe for them. She will not have any coworkers. Does one of the share families have a space in their house that is or could be made into a playroom with all outlets covered, all furniture tethered to the wall, no climbing hazards or tipping hazards or anything else that the children could hurt themselves on if she needed to step out of the room for a moment?

[Anonymous]

One more thought: I would ask her to explain in detail her plans for how to handle having all three kids now, and for preparing food/bottles. Again, this is something that in daycare's she would be able to split the duties of supervising the awake children and rocking one to sleep, or getting the kids to the table while someone else gets food on plates. It is possible that she absolutely has a plan for how to manage these tasks without backup, but it is also possible that she has no idea how different it will be to be all alone with three small children all day.

[Anonymous]

I've mentioned it in your other threat so I'll just copy it here too.
Honestly, for me the hours would be a negative. I don't mind the 10 hours. But having the kids arrive an hour apart, her day wouldn't really start until 10. Considering lunch and nap would be around noon, she wouldn't have a lot of time outside. I take care of toddler boys and we're outside all morning. I see that as a major set back.
I would definitely rethink the hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One more thought: I would ask her to explain in detail her plans for how to handle having all three kids now, and for preparing food/bottles. Again, this is something that in daycare's she would be able to split the duties of supervising the awake children and rocking one to sleep, or getting the kids to the table while someone else gets food on plates. It is possible that she absolutely has a plan for how to manage these tasks without backup, but it is also possible that she has no idea how different it will be to be all alone with three small children all day.

Theres really no way she can give you a precise answer. This is a situation that requires doing the job and seeing what does and does not work.
Once a routine is established, she will probably do everything with ease. Let her establish the routine. Be supportive and let her know that you trust her and are there to listen to any concerns she has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One more thought: I would ask her to explain in detail her plans for how to handle having all three kids now, and for preparing food/bottles. Again, this is something that in daycare's she would be able to split the duties of supervising the awake children and rocking one to sleep, or getting the kids to the table while someone else gets food on plates. It is possible that she absolutely has a plan for how to manage these tasks without backup, but it is also possible that she has no idea how different it will be to be all alone with three small children all day.

At 15, 16 and 19 months these toddlers should not need bottles or to be rocked to sleep.

Pouring milk or water into sippy cups is a lot easier then heating up and preparing bottles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!

What nanny in her right mind would want to take on such a responsibility? She will be so tired and stressed out she won't be able to think straight. I think you should hire two nannies. One cannot do it effectively. Even something simple as using the bathroom or getting a drink of water in the kitchen can be a challenge with three hungry and tired children at this age.

Give me a break. While this is certainly a challenging job, it's not impossible. I care for 2 year old triplets and guess what? I use the bathroom, have a drink and eat lunch every single day.

OP, you need to make sure the nanny is experienced and preferably experienced with multiples. I think 3 way shares are harder than my job, but some people love shares.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure your daycare doesn't include a non-compete clause in the contract? If they find you you could be in for a big finder's fee.

[Anonymous]

A few things to think about:
1. Are you all contributing to purchase things that the Nanny Share needs? For example - are you sharing the cost of the triple stroller? Do you need extra potty seats? Need to purchase a small table and chairs for eating? (usually at 24 months children at daycares sit at a small table for meals)

2. Who is going to cover the insurances? Health for the nanny / homeowners in case something happens in your house?

3. Is everyone going to pay her "on the books?"

4. If this is DC is everyone paying Dept of Employment Services taxes?

5. What are the agreements across the share families for leaving? 2 weeks notice? 1 month notice? Do you find a replacement family? Pay nanny at same rate?

6. If the share does not work out, who gets the nanny?

7. What are the agreements around sick children? For a regular nanny, nanny usually comes and cares for - for a share nanny typically only cares for well children.

8. Are you agreeing on bonuses for the holidays joint or separate? Annual raises?

9. How will food be shared? Will each family bring own meals / snacks? Will you tell the nanny to makes what she wants?

10. Who is covering meals for nanny? When we had a nanny, we told her that she is welcome to anything in the house for her meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure your daycare doesn't include a non-compete clause in the contract? If they find you you could be in for a big finder's fee.

It does not. We checked. The contract says that it is 'discouraged' but no fee imposed.
Like I said- we are not sold on the idea. Our daycare expeience was great when the boys were in the infant rooms- but the toddler/preschool room (yup, they are all together) is a bit chaotic for my liking. Nothing awful- but just not great.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I think I'd print out all these questions, send them to the other 2 families via email, and then schedule a time to discuss them together. And if you can come to an agreement, and one of your houses can handle 3 kids of this age with enough space and that family is willing to have the chaos of always hosting the share, then I'd schedule a time ona weekend for the teacher to sit down with the 3 parents and seriously discuss/interview these questions. I'd do it at the house where the share will be, and discuss what you are thinking (we'll have the 2 visitors on cots in these rooms, or we'll bring pack and plays and set them up in the 2 spare bedrooms, or in the diningroom) and see what she thinks. And ask her - how will you handle it when there are 3 all day and you don't have any relief, no other teacher to hand them off to if you're tired, etc?

By the way, how far away does she live, will she be able to get there in the winter?


Then you'll all know if it's a good idea and whether you should do it. Encourage her to give at least 2 weeks with her job, if not 4 weeks, so she doesn't burn any bridges and can get a good reference in the future.