S/O Playing with charges at the park
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Anonymous
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A poster on the male nanny thread brought up the issue of nannies/parents playing with kids at the park. I am just curious to know where nannies and families weigh in on this and to share my own views.
When I take kids under the age of 4 to the park, I am absolutely 100% (ok well maybe 95%) engaged with play and ensuring the safety of all kids around. This said, I usually take children of these ages to age appropriate spaces where the milieu is generally of the same physical capabilities, not to a school playground at 3:30 where they are going to be knocked down by a bunch of bigger kids. When I am with school aged children, I tend to take a more laid back approach. I hover around the perimeter to make sure I am there if anyone decides to leap off the slide or do a monkey-bar trick they can't quite handle, but I am NOT running around and trying to play, and find it quite annoying when other adults are (mainly because they get in the way of the other kids!). This is not to say I sit on my phone for 2 hours, it's actually usually the parents doing that, but I am just more of a safety officer than a playmate. Nannies and parents, what are your approaches to playing at the park and what do you think of people on the opposite end of the spectrum? |
Anonymous
| The park near my charge's house rarely has any other kids except for us. It's kind of sad, really. If no one is there when we go I will do whatever my charge wants me to do. Sometimes there will be a couple of kids from her class, so when there are I just sit back unless she asks for something. |
Anonymous
| Most of the time I do the same thing as OP with my school age charges. I think it is better for them to be independent and creative on their own sometimes and to interact with children their own ages. They absolutely do not need an adult to entertain them 24/7. I make sure everyone is safe and offer the occasional suggestion if they truly cannot come up with a game to play. I see other parents and nannies doing the same thing. |
Anonymous
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Agree with PP, our parks are quite often empty, or there are one or two other kids. Kids under 5, or if its just them and myself, I will take a more active role in playing, but if they are older and there are other kids around I'm comfortable standing back and monitoring things.
There is a big and obvious difference between a nanny or parent who is completely disengaged messing around on their phone, versus someone actively watching and monitoring the kids despite not playing themselves. I'm not really concerned if someone can't tell the difference. |
Anonymous
| In my previous job with a 4 yr old I mostly sat back and monitored. He always found friends and they played tag, hind and go seek and other games they made up. I pushed him on the swings and helped with monkey bars. Sometimes we brought his bike. But when he was playing tag I sat back and watched. I don't see harm in children playing without an adult always interfering. |
Anonymous
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I'm actually a male nanny. My charges are 3 and 6. We generally work the park into our rotation once a week and I will actively play with them there. Actually we will usually end up having other kids join in. They have more than enough opportunities to play just with other kids, I like to enjoy my time with them and I know they really appreciate it and have an awesome time.
I've asked the older one before what he did with his previous nannies that he enjoyed which led to him mentioning that some things he didn't like about them is that they didn't play any sports with him and that they didn't play at the playground and just used their phone. Kids notice that stuff even if you think they don't because they happen to be off playing with other kids. |
Anonymous
| My charges are 6 and 8, and a big group of kids from their school tend to congregate at the playground down the street after school, so I'm usually fine sitting back and letting them play. I make sure I've got eyes on them at least once every five minutes or so, and use that time to research that week's art project/figure out where to find supplies or meal plan/research new recipes, etc. There's a big group of moms that sometimes asks me to sit with them, but they don't usually check on their kids, so I feel really awkward sitting over there and occasionally standing up to look for my charges. |
Anonymous
He'll probably tell his next nanny that you smothered him |
Anonymous
That he may, who knows. |
Anonymous
Really? This was a constructive thread until you felt the need to spread your negativity. There's that old adage "If you can't say anything nice...", try remembering it sometime. |
Anonymous
oh no I've been reprimanded by the thread police I'm shaking in my boots. Why don't you hop down from your soap box and take the kids to the park it will help you relax and unclinch a little |
Anonymous
| I'm very much into free-range playing so if my charges are school-age I let them go and I settle onto a bench or under a tree and read. They know they're not allowed to leave the playground and I play "spot the kids" every five minutes or so. Younger charges go on the tot lot where I'm nearby to stop falls or kiss boo-boo's but not hovering. |
Anonymous
And when you are at the house is it the same free range mentality? You kids go play quietly together, don't leave the house, I'm going to be here reading if you need anything. |
Anonymous
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I agree with you OP.
For younger children, I am interacting and engaging...The younger ones most especially like 2-3 I usually am within arm's reach just in case. For older kids, I try to stay out of the way, but am always within eyesight of them so there is no way anyone can touch or grab them. |
Anonymous
Do you really think someone at the park is just going to touch or grab your kids? Is that really what you are most worried about? |