So… can we be honest for a second?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you go from a nanny to an au pair is like flying first class vs taking the greyhound bus.

That’s not my experience at all. Nannies don’t show up on snow days, get mad if you’re late but want you to shake it off if they’re late, are inflexible about schedule… basically following your analogy, nanny is an Amtrak and au pair is a car. Maybe not a Maserati but a solid 10 yr old Honda Civic.

Youve never hosted an aupair who gets mad when you are late from work? Because, I definitely have. And one who was very inflexible about working a weekend because that was her time to 'experience american culture".

It's not a comparison you can make. People are people and if you get a good nanny, they may have flexibility. You get a good aupair, maybe they won't be on their phone all day. The difference is the career experience that you may be able to interview for, the life experience and stability of someone (they may have their own home, car, cellphone, bank account) and you can easily fire a nanny without losing thousands to an aupair company who isn't going to bend on their refund policy.

There isn't one profile of an aupair or nanny that we can compare. They are not the same thing or in the same category. Even though I have hosted for a few aupairs, I see other families with an aupair and I immediately think they either have kids who need a driver or they have infants-2 years old and can't afford daycare or a nanny. I don't think 'wow, they must be rich, they have an aupair." The experience and quality of care they provide may be the same as a nanny if you select the right aupair, but that is a crap shoot and the odds are not in your favor.

Exactly this. I think our family has just come to the conclusion that we're too bougy and uptight for au pairs. I'm not proud of this but the quality of the childcare was so uneven, it just wasn't worth the stress. I do not like to fire people (obviously, does anyone) but when I've had to let go babysitters, it's easy an clean - when we had to fire our au pair there was all kinds of drama and she lived in our house for 2+ weeks (and we still had to pay her!) - and that was two weeks I didn't have childcare, not to mention the whole rematch/interviewing/hiring for another au pair. A good professional nanny is wonderful - and re: the nights and weekends flexibilty, perhaps it's because we live in DC but we haven't had this problem. Maybe people are willing to be very flexible as long as those hours and expectations are clear upfront - the time we got pushback it was because we had been at 9-5pm and needed to move to 12-8pm, which is fair, it's not what she had signed up for.

09/16/2021 04:13

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you go from a nanny to an au pair is like flying first class vs taking the greyhound bus.

That’s not my experience at all. Nannies don’t show up on snow days, get mad if you’re late but want you to shake it off if they’re late, are inflexible about schedule… basically following your analogy, nanny is an Amtrak and au pair is a car. Maybe not a Maserati but a solid 10 yr old Honda Civic.

Youve never hosted an aupair who gets mad when you are late from work? Because, I definitely have. And one who was very inflexible about working a weekend because that was her time to 'experience american culture".

It's not a comparison you can make. People are people and if you get a good nanny, they may have flexibility. You get a good aupair, maybe they won't be on their phone all day. The difference is the career experience that you may be able to interview for, the life experience and stability of someone (they may have their own home, car, cellphone, bank account) and you can easily fire a nanny without losing thousands to an aupair company who isn't going to bend on their refund policy.

There isn't one profile of an aupair or nanny that we can compare. They are not the same thing or in the same category. Even though I have hosted for a few aupairs, I see other families with an aupair and I immediately think they either have kids who need a driver or they have infants-2 years old and can't afford daycare or a nanny. I don't think 'wow, they must be rich, they have an aupair." The experience and quality of care they provide may be the same as a nanny if you select the right aupair, but that is a crap shoot and the odds are not in your favor.

What a weird comment re: not assuming the family is rich. I’m in biglaw, DH is in biglaw, and I know tons of other biglaw lawyers, from associate all the way up to firm chairman who use au pairs. I’m sure you also know moderate income people with au pairs. It’s not about how rich the family is. It’s about matching family needs with options. For me, with a split schedule, I really need an au pair.

09/28/2021 21:28

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you go from a nanny to an au pair is like flying first class vs taking the greyhound bus.

That’s not my experience at all. Nannies don’t show up on snow days, get mad if you’re late but want you to shake it off if they’re late, are inflexible about schedule… basically following your analogy, nanny is an Amtrak and au pair is a car. Maybe not a Maserati but a solid 10 yr old Honda Civic.

Our Au pairs have been better than our nannies. They are like family members to us. That’s the big difference in my opinion.

09/29/2021 11:20

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you go from a nanny to an au pair is like flying first class vs taking the greyhound bus.

That’s not my experience at all. Nannies don’t show up on snow days, get mad if you’re late but want you to shake it off if they’re late, are inflexible about schedule… basically following your analogy, nanny is an Amtrak and au pair is a car. Maybe not a Maserati but a solid 10 yr old Honda Civic.

Youve never hosted an aupair who gets mad when you are late from work? Because, I definitely have. And one who was very inflexible about working a weekend because that was her time to 'experience american culture".

It's not a comparison you can make. People are people and if you get a good nanny, they may have flexibility. You get a good aupair, maybe they won't be on their phone all day. The difference is the career experience that you may be able to interview for, the life experience and stability of someone (they may have their own home, car, cellphone, bank account) and you can easily fire a nanny without losing thousands to an aupair company who isn't going to bend on their refund policy.

There isn't one profile of an aupair or nanny that we can compare. They are not the same thing or in the same category. Even though I have hosted for a few aupairs, I see other families with an aupair and I immediately think they either have kids who need a driver or they have infants-2 years old and can't afford daycare or a nanny. I don't think 'wow, they must be rich, they have an aupair." The experience and quality of care they provide may be the same as a nanny if you select the right aupair, but that is a crap shoot and the odds are not in your favor.

What a weird comment re: not assuming the family is rich. I’m in biglaw, DH is in biglaw, and I know tons of other biglaw lawyers, from associate all the way up to firm chairman who use au pairs. I’m sure you also know moderate income people with au pairs. It’s not about how rich the family is. It’s about matching family needs with options. For me, with a split schedule, I really need an au pair.

If you're a dual income family with both parents in biglaw, you're well off. Having an au pair is a luxury many families cannot afford.

10/01/2021 13:55

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Anonymous

I don't know where everyone else is finding their Mary Poppins American nannies. We've used a nanny in the past and interviewed extensively for it. I find that you are either going to get a recent college grade from an upper middle class background who will drop you in a hot second when she gets a "real" job or goes to grad school, or a "career" nanny who is working-class, older, super religious, burdened with financial woes, a crappy car, and family responsibilities, doesn't have health insurance unless you provide it, and very resistant to your preferences, and in fact acts like your parenting opinions and methods aren't even valid. I think an Au Pair is much more like the young fresh grad (inexperienced but eager to learn and eager to please), but her options to jump ship are to go back to her home country early or roll the dice on a rematch. We've never had an au pair leave us for rematch. We've had a great experience overall, 4 APs over 7 years now.

11/21/2021 23:31

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Anonymous

We just broke our match with an extremely mediocre yet entitled au pair from Brasil. We are not going to host anymore. I’m done.

11/23/2021 12:41

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:We just broke our match with an extremely mediocre yet entitled au pair from Brasil. We are not going to host anymore. I’m done.

DP. I will never look for APs from Brazil again. They all compare notes and come in with high expectations of extras.

11/23/2021 14:21

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just broke our match with an extremely mediocre yet entitled au pair from Brasil. We are not going to host anymore. I’m done.

DP. I will never look for APs from Brazil again. They all compare notes and come in with high expectations of extras.

+1000 Never again. Materialistic brazilian who made comparisons the entire 3 months we hosted her. I'm sure there are exceptions.

11/23/2021 15:38

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:We just broke our match with an extremely mediocre yet entitled au pair from Brasil. We are not going to host anymore. I’m done.

OMG get over it. You’ve come here so many times to complain about your aupair from Brazil. She was with you what, a few months? And you’re still obsessed with her. In the wise words of Elsa—let it go!

11/24/2021 14:26