They both started with the nanny at the same time in the share. They like her and trust her. If they split now, one family would need to find a different nanny, and they may also be thinking about their older child’s confusion/upset at losing both their beloved nanny and best friend at the same time. |
My mom had the 4 of us siblings with each 15 months apart. So basically 4 kids in 5 years. Not an ounce of help. Everyone had 3+ kids where i grew up, and I did not know a single family with a housekeeper or a "nanny'' -- that was some word on British television. This forum is so dang privileged -- and helpless, it seems.
If the nanny can do take it. it's a bargain. Don't get nitpick-y about a couple of hundred bucks here and there -- that's a dinner out for many of you. --- stay-at-home mom of (only) 3 who has a housekeeper 1x per week; my mom thinks I must be wasteful and lazy ![]() |
Are you a nanny? I find that it’s always the parent who says a nanny isn’t capable of caring for 3 + children, simultaneously because they can’t care for that many children themselves. I know tons of nannies, including myself, who have cared for 4 children, simultaneously; 2 toddler and 2 infants— also, an newborn is considered a child that is 3 months or younger; the two younger ones will be 9 months a part. There’s no doubt that you will need a strong nanny— and most arrangements like this are with families that the nanny has been with for 2+ years, so I’m sure the parents trust and knows what the nanny is capable of. I’m not going to say it’s an easy job but it can be done with the right person. |
The right person.....??!
No matter how you say it - Four children (including two newborn babies!) is a tough amount on ANY parent. Just visit the General Parenting thread. People are losing it at just one infant. Let’s be realistic here. |
There’s a huge difference between one family and 2+ families. ~ nanny for shares and single families |
Disagree. I know plenty of moms and nannies who can handle a new baby every 1.5-2.5 years. But that’s in a single family. For me, the reason I think it could work is the 9 month gap. Otherwise, not a chance. |
How old are these toddlers? If we are talking two 18mos and a newborn then two 2.5yos and a 12mo and a 3mo that gives me pause. If we are talking the “toddlers” will be 3 or close to three when the first baby is added that seems much more doable, even if preschool in the fall is a no-go.
If I had 2.5yos and a newborn and no preschool, I would plan to line the newborn’s schedule up so that she took most morning naps in a baby carrier or bassinet-style stroller, then took a more restful afternoon nap while the big kids had “quiet time.” That would allow us to play outside in the morning until lunch and give the big kids what they need then have the baby get more focus in the afternoon. By the time the baby is 10mo and we are adding another newborn, the 10mo should be in a 2-nap per day routine with a smaller nap during the morning outing and a longer nap in the afternoon during quiet time for the big kids and the newborn would just have to fit in with that as best as we can arrange. By that point the older kids would be nearly 3.5 and easily able to do things like play on a swingset in the yard or ride scooters in the driveway or color with sidewalk chalk without needing hands-on help, just supervision and attention/applause/guidance. And when the babies have an afternoon nap I could focus on art projects, science projects or just snuggling up to read with the preschoolers. |
^^PP, your proposed schedule sounds lovely.
I see a lot of “shoulds” in it. If you are a parent or even a long-time Nanny, you likely already know that newborn infants rarely can be put on any form of consistent schedule. So while in theory your schedule looks great - I wouldn’t count on it. Especially the sleeping schedule. |
Maybe you can take care of 4 kids, as you said 2 toddlers and 2 new borns babies. But I am sure with a very poor quality of care. It will never be the same. |
By the time the second baby joins the share, the toddlers may be preschoolers and the other infant may be a toddler. Approximate ages would help everyone feel better about this, but the reality is that neither family wants to give up the nanny, both families have thought through ramifications for compromised care, and the nanny feels she can handle it. |