Dress code in off hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again: I had a conversation with MB about it. I just said I was a little confused about when the dress code applies and had been under the impression that it only applied while I was on duty. She basically told me that she wants me to follow it all the time saying that I'm always representing the family and my behavior reflects on them whether I'm on duty or not.

This is my first live-in job and I haven't really heard of rules like this before. Is this weird or a red flag I should be concerned about? I mean, I can live with this particular rule, and I generally like the family so far, but it feels like this might be a sign that they're a bit on on the controlling side?

This would be the red flag for me. You are NOT always representing the family. Your behavior does NOT always reflect on them. You aren't their child, you are their employee. I get not wearing something that could be construed as too revealing when you are in their home, but otherwise, that's nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Get out of this asylum NOW! She is a control freak and eventually will do her best to control every aspect of your life. GET OUT NOW.

[Anonymous]

Ha! This reminds me of the time I had a family give me a curfew on my nights off. I was 30. That job did not last long.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I’d look for a new job. MB sounds insecure and pathetic!

[Anonymous]

So if you have a date or you’re going to a club you need to dress like a Mormon to leave the house? Change in your car?? Yeah no. Unless you have zero experience or bad references you can do much better than this gong show. Oh and for sure the mom probably watches the cameras all day long and will critique you. Just wait. She sounds the type!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here: That's the thing, it wasn't anything crazy - a camisole was the offending item (it's pretty warm in the house). I know I need to have a conversation about it, but I really hate having potentially confrontational conversations, so I've been avoiding today.

What’s the difference between what you were wearing and the dress code-approved item? Spaghetti straps and barely covered cleavage versus tee? Or more drastic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again: I had a conversation with MB about it. I just said I was a little confused about when the dress code applies and had been under the impression that it only applied while I was on duty. She basically told me that she wants me to follow it all the time saying that I'm always representing the family and my behavior reflects on them whether I'm on duty or not.

This is my first live-in job and I haven't really heard of rules like this before. Is this weird or a red flag I should be concerned about? I mean, I can live with this particular rule, and I generally like the family so far, but it feels like this might be a sign that they're a bit on on the controlling side?

I’m a live-in nanny. Unless you’re being paid for 24/7 availability (and so need to be within a certain distance of work and either wearing work clothes or able to change in under 5 minutes), she can’t dictate what you do on off hours, including where you go and what you wear. She does have the right to ask you to pull on something easy to be in common areas (like a tee over the camisole you wear in your room), but that should have been made clear.