When Au Pair Declines a Vacation Invitation - Does her free time at home go against 14 days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your AP doesn’t want to come with you on vacation as a freebie, and doesn’t want it to count against her 14 days (btw my understanding is that it’s 10 business days and four weekend days) then she can stay home while you are away but have her work: sort kids clothes, organize kids rooms, do kids laundry and sheets, tidy up and sort toys,
vacuum and organize cars, water plants and help with pet care. You should come home to a clean and organized house
I also would not give a lot for food for that week and she can use her own stipend toward it. If your AP isn’t going to be home that week and decides to travel somewhere else with her own friends, then I would ABSOLUTELY make her use her vacation time for that.

Ewww you’re terrible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your AP doesn’t want to come with you on vacation as a freebie, and doesn’t want it to count against her 14 days (btw my understanding is that it’s 10 business days and four weekend days) then she can stay home while you are away but have her work: sort kids clothes, organize kids rooms, do kids laundry and sheets, tidy up and sort toys,
vacuum and organize cars, water plants and help with pet care. You should come home to a clean and organized house
I also would not give a lot for food for that week and she can use her own stipend toward it. If your AP isn’t going to be home that week and decides to travel somewhere else with her own friends, then I would ABSOLUTELY make her use her vacation time for that.

Ewww you’re terrible!

Unbelievable. By the way au pair can't watch your pet while you're having a vacation. She can sort of kids toys and clothes but pet care is not her job. Find a dog sitter and follow rules of the program, thanks. But I don't believe you are a host mom.

[Anonymous]

Agree! The au pair program is a cultural exchange program. Au pairs are not domestic workers. Vacation time, parameters, conditions should be clearly defined. Every host family is different. Some have limited vacation time (two weeks). Some are single parents. Disputes and resentment arise when host families fail to communicate vacation conditions (private room or share room? on duty or off duty? travel expense? entertainment expense? count towards vacation or not count towards vacation?). Disputes and resentment arise when au pairs make assumptions and fail to ask questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also would not give a lot for food for that week and she can use her own stipend toward it.

No. Nononononono.
As a host family you fucking feed your AP for the 51 weeks she is living under your roof FULLSTOP It doesn't matter if she decides to spend her two weeks of vacation hiding in her room or if she decides not to join you for a family vacation where you don't need her to work, you. feed. your. AP. Just as you would leave food for your 17 year old who decides not to spend the weekend at granny's with you or not to join you for your family vacation while on break from college. You feed people who rely on you.
You leave her with the usual basics (whatever that means for your family and your AP - cereal, bread, milk, juice, cheese, fruit, yoghurt... whatever you usually eat and provide her with) and a bit of money to buy things she will need to buy while you are gone because they go bad or she will run out of. The stipend isn't meant to cover basic needs. Room and board (!) are part of the AP's salary. That is how you get away with paying $4.35 per hour for your childcare.

You are talking about somebody's child there. Do you want a strange family in a foreign country to treat your child like that? How would you feel if your 18/19/20 year old called you and told you their HF had left them behind for two weeks without any food and no money to buy food for you?

Be a decent human being.

For all I care? Yes, ask her to sort clothes, tidy up, water the plants and get the mail. But don't be butthurt because your AP'd rather spend two weeks home alone than on a family vacation with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your AP doesn’t want to come with you on vacation as a freebie, and doesn’t want it to count against her 14 days (btw my understanding is that it’s 10 business days and four weekend days) then she can stay home while you are away but have her work: sort kids clothes, organize kids rooms, do kids laundry and sheets, tidy up and sort toys,
vacuum and organize cars, water plants and help with pet care. You should come home to a clean and organized house
I also would not give a lot for food for that week and she can use her own stipend toward it. If your AP isn’t going to be home that week and decides to travel somewhere else with her own friends, then I would ABSOLUTELY make her use her vacation time for that.

Ewww you’re terrible!

Unbelievable. By the way au pair can't watch your pet while you're having a vacation. She can sort of kids toys and clothes but pet care is not her job. Find a dog sitter and follow rules of the program, thanks. But I don't believe you are a host mom.

She’s also not responsible for you plants or all the cars. The kid or AP car, sure. Anything kid-related, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We invited our AP to come on a family vacation with us over New Years, and she has declined, saying she prefers to spend new years with her friends. I'm a little surprised that she is declining a tropical vacation when she wouldn't need to work. Since she is declining to join us, does that week she is with her friends for New Years go against her 14 days of vacation? She is claiming it doesn't, but I am not so sure about that.

Tropical vacation with HF vs holidays with friends? Tropical or not I understand why she chose the friends.

[Anonymous]

If she chooses not to go on the trip and she would be expected to work on the trip at least some hours, it definitely cuts against her vacation time. If she is not expected to work during the trip at all, it does not cut against her vacation time. It's extra vacation time that you are giving her. You should provide her basic food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner during this time regardless. You do not have to give her going out money, but you do need to stock the fridge pantry (we usually make sure that there is enough pasta, rice, vegetables, eggs, breakfast bars, bread, and milk to make a minimum of a week's worth of meals during this time.