Is This A Personal Question...Too Personal To Ask My Employers...??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't work with kids under 6 months, period, and I make it clear during interviews. I've had one mom tell me that she intended to take the first 3 months off after the next baby, whenever that happened, and I could just take over for that baby with the others at three months. I was very clear during the interview that it wouldn't happen, so when mom started showing, I asked if she was planning on a fourth child and what her plans were until the child was 6 months old. When she was astounded that I dared to ask and then tried to convince me that I'd agreed to include the 3 month infant (without a raise or decreased responsibilities), I told her she had three months to find a new nanny.

Why?

Because I refuse to be there while mom is on maternity leave. I will work with one or both parents WAH, SAHP if there are 4+ kids and flex schedule. But I've dealt with 3 too many hormonal moms during maternity leave to want to do it again.

[Anonymous]

MB here- not an appropriate question--too personal in my opinion

I have had a nanny ask me that before and it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable--I don't even talk about that with my parents--it's between me and my husband.

It's also kind of weird when the question also has a bit of an impact on her job so I wonder why it's being asked....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here- not an appropriate question--too personal in my opinion

I have had a nanny ask me that before and it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable--I don't even talk about that with my parents--it's between me and my husband.

It's also kind of weird when the question also has a bit of an impact on her job so I wonder why it's being asked....

EQUALLY inappropriate when you ask a nanny about HER plans or hopes. That's between her and HER husband, don't you think?

[Anonymous]

I have been a nanny in the past and I look forward to hiring my first nanny in the future.

From both perspectives, I don't see a problem with the question as it javascript:void(0);was present in the OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised at posters saying it's inappropriate. ...which it may be but I've commonly had parents ask me the the same - do I want kids in the future - and then sometimes I then ask if they want additional children. It's completely casual and no one has ever been uptight about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here- not an appropriate question--too personal in my opinion

I have had a nanny ask me that before and it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable--I don't even talk about that with my parents--it's between me and my husband.

It's also kind of weird when the question also has a bit of an impact on her job so I wonder why it's being asked....

Yet you have no qualms about asking your nanny personal questions, do you? If she has a baby it affects you but if you have a baby it has no affecy on her? When she was hired you have two kids, not three, and bringing another one into the mix makes a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Parents,

Why do you feel entitled to ask the nanny about her baby plans, yet you're offended when she asks you??

If any parent dared to ask me my baby plans, you can bet I'd AUTOMATICALLY be asking them.

That's the ONLY correct way to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents,

Why do you feel entitled to ask the nanny about her baby plans, yet you're offended when she asks you??

If any parent dared to ask me my baby plans, you can bet I'd AUTOMATICALLY be asking them.

That's the ONLY correct way to respond.

Where are you getting all of this from? No one here saying it's inappropriate has suggested it's appropriate to ask a nanny either. I am in the firmly inappropriate for ANYONE to ask in ANY context. Even my mother. If the person whose fertility plans are being questioned want to discuss, they will bring it up. Otherwise it is not anyone's business. Why is this so complicated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here- not an appropriate question--too personal in my opinion

I have had a nanny ask me that before and it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable--I don't even talk about that with my parents--it's between me and my husband.

It's also kind of weird when the question also has a bit of an impact on her job so I wonder why it's being asked....

Yet you have no qualms about asking your nanny personal questions, do you? If she has a baby it affects you but if you have a baby it has no affecy on her? When she was hired you have two kids, not three, and bringing another one into the mix makes a huge difference.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for the responses. I now realize that I shouldn't have asked that question.

You live and you learn, right??!

You do and I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. You can even smooth it over by apologizing by saying "Hey MB i am sorry for asking such a personal question yesterday, it won't happen again" in a nice sincere way I am sure she will appreciate it and you can just move forward