letting nanny go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -
let me clarify a bit; I was trying not to get into too much detail, but this might be helpful. Her tone is very harsh with them. I believe this to be cultural and also personality, meaning, when I see her get overwhelmed, she tends to scold them, as opposed to firmly telling them and moving on or re-directling their energy. She doesn't seem to know what to do or how to handle high energy, and tends to lash out and repeat and repeat in a very harsh and scolding way. This is not a fit for our family. But, as I am trying to be sensitive to her personality and cultural background or tendencies, I don't want to lay into her. She has done a fine job; just not the right fit for us, which is why I want to move on, yet be sensitive, but ultimately let her go b/c to us, sensitivity and respect towards the kids is a non-negotiator.

Oh, so yet another MB who should've hired an American instead of a cheap foreign nanny. You get what you pay for in many cases.

Utter nonsense.

Our first nanny was foreign-born, legal, warm, loving, and everything great for us for 3 years. She was too tender and loving to manage preschoolers but loved my kids as tenderly as any grandparent did or does.

Cultural background and parenting norms may play a role in what OP is dealing with, but it is completely false to say that american nannies are any more loving or nurturing simply by virtue of being american.

You really need to stop with your endless fixation on this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a new nanny first and set up a start date.

The day before the start date (or the Friday before, which is probably best), set a meeting with your nanny for 1 hour to 30 minutes before the end of the day. Have your spouse keep the kids during that time. Explain that you are letting her go, exchange check for unused vacation days + two weeks severance for the keys. Thank her for her work to the extent you think is reasonable. See her out.

Since you are not firing her "for cause" you should give severance. You also owe her her unused vacation. As another PP said, you do not need to pay for unused sick time.

Excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

It took you six months to decide it wasn't a good fit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in full agreement with you OP that once your nanny knows she is being let go, it is best for your children that said nanny does not care for them any longer.

Once she knows she is being terminated, there will most likely be some hard feelings. And due to those feelings, she may not provide the best care for your kiddos.

However it would be completely unfair of you to give her such short notice so to compensate, I would offer her two weeks' pay. It would be the right thing to do. And since she wasn't awful or anything, a nice letter of recommendation on top of that.

GL.

"Nanny, you did such a bad job please take a two week paid vacation on us!" *rolls eyes*

The nanny didn't do a bad job you troll, she just didnt click with the family. Yes, she deserves severance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -
let me clarify a bit; I was trying not to get into too much detail, but this might be helpful. Her tone is very harsh with them. I believe this to be cultural and also personality, meaning, when I see her get overwhelmed, she tends to scold them, as opposed to firmly telling them and moving on or re-directling their energy. She doesn't seem to know what to do or how to handle high energy, and tends to lash out and repeat and repeat in a very harsh and scolding way. This is not a fit for our family. But, as I am trying to be sensitive to her personality and cultural background or tendencies, I don't want to lay into her. She has done a fine job; just not the right fit for us, which is why I want to move on, yet be sensitive, but ultimately let her go b/c to us, sensitivity and respect towards the kids is a non-negotiator.

German?

[Anonymous]

OP foind someone cheaper who will do all her house cleaning so present nanny, after 6 months, not a good fit. Everyone else knows within a month whether the nanny is a good fit. Not even a good try, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here - it was hard to figure out at first, bc she has always been very polite with us. It took me time, making an effort to be around in the day more often to pick up on something that my gut was nagging me. Nothing was obvious or flat out terrible. So yes, it did take a few months to make this assessment. I know that it hard to believe for some. I travel a lot for work and so this has been additionally stressful to uncover b/c I am not home for many days in the week frequently.

[Anonymous]

So, did you give her two weeks severance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it was hard to figure out at first, bc she has always been very polite with us. It took me time, making an effort to be around in the day more often to pick up on something that my gut was nagging me. Nothing was obvious or flat out terrible. So yes, it did take a few months to make this assessment. I know that it hard to believe for some. I travel a lot for work and so this has been additionally stressful to uncover b/c I am not home for many days in the week frequently.

The more you post the more disingenuous you sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -
let me clarify a bit; I was trying not to get into too much detail, but this might be helpful. Her tone is very harsh with them. I believe this to be cultural and also personality, meaning, when I see her get overwhelmed, she tends to scold them, as opposed to firmly telling them and moving on or re-directling their energy. She doesn't seem to know what to do or how to handle high energy, and tends to lash out and repeat and repeat in a very harsh and scolding way. This is not a fit for our family. But, as I am trying to be sensitive to her personality and cultural background or tendencies, I don't want to lay into her. She has done a fine job; just not the right fit for us, which is why I want to move on, yet be sensitive, but ultimately let her go b/c to us, sensitivity and respect towards the kids is a non-negotiator.

Oh, so yet another MB who should've hired an American instead of a cheap foreign nanny. You get what you pay for in many cases.

Wow way to generalize! I am going through a similar situation where my kids are miserable since our nanny is a yeller and not super active with my older children. Not a bad nanny at all, just NOT A GOOD FIT for our family. She's amazing with the baby though. PS she's a US citizen who was born overseas