What was I suppose to do? (laundry and boundaries)

[Anonymous]

Another MB. What an incredibly rude response she gave you for doing something that is not even in your job description! Sorry you have to feel awkward about something like this when you were just trying to help.

We have separate hampers for our child's clothing, but once in a while a pair of my underwear or a tank top of mine gets put in my son's hamper by mistake. Our nanny just folds it and puts in on top of the hamper, and I always just make sure to thank her in passing.

And when she does something that is really not in her job description (cleaning up after our sick dog, or folding towels that were left in the dryer) I make sure to text her later to say thank you!

OP, I would not respond to this - it's too awkward and will probably only lead to bad feelings on both sides. Next time it happens, just dump the clothes in an empty laundry basket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

MB here. That is a weird, and unnecessary response. Is it possible she was trying to say that she didn't expect you to do that? Maybe she's well aware that it would be rude of her to assume and she was trying to convey that she doesn't consider it at all necessary for you to have had to deal w/ their laundry.

Just trying to offer a gentler point of view... I would have been hugely appreciative OP, but also embarassed that I'd left my own laundry in your way.


OP here.

I personally would be uncomfortable with someone else folding my laundry, so I get that to an extent. It just felt like a strange response. If she would have said, "I feel uncomfortable with you folding our laundry. Next time please leave it." I would find it odd, but the response, "weird you would want to fold our underwear" kind of offended me.

Huh, that isn't what you said in your first post, OP.

That said, it is a weird response and probably due to her embarrassment that she left the laundry in your way. Try to be more charitable and less offended by such a minor comment.

OP WAS being charitable by folding her bosses laundry. A rude comment after hours is not minor and should not be taken as such.

We are all busy, stressed, and overwhelmed at times, these are not excuses for bad behavior. Why are MB/DBs given impunity while nannies are never allowed to complain or be dissatisfied with any aspect of their job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

MB here. That is a weird, and unnecessary response. Is it possible she was trying to say that she didn't expect you to do that? Maybe she's well aware that it would be rude of her to assume and she was trying to convey that she doesn't consider it at all necessary for you to have had to deal w/ their laundry.

Just trying to offer a gentler point of view... I would have been hugely appreciative OP, but also embarassed that I'd left my own laundry in your way.


OP here.

I personally would be uncomfortable with someone else folding my laundry, so I get that to an extent. It just felt like a strange response. If she would have said, "I feel uncomfortable with you folding our laundry. Next time please leave it." I would find it odd, but the response, "weird you would want to fold our underwear" kind of offended me.

Huh, that isn't what you said in your first post, OP.

That said, it is a weird response and probably due to her embarrassment that she left the laundry in your way. Try to be more charitable and less offended by such a minor comment.

OP WAS being charitable by folding her bosses laundry. A rude comment after hours is not minor and should not be taken as such.

We are all busy, stressed, and overwhelmed at times, these are not excuses for bad behavior. Why are MB/DBs given impunity while nannies are never allowed to complain or be dissatisfied with any aspect of their job?

Why do SAHM write books and articles about how very very difficult their lives are but a nanny cannot complain about one thing without being told to "shut up and get back to work?" This is especially true on this forum. A nanny writes that her day will be "challenging" because MB is going to work at home that day and the nanny is called lazy and entitled for even mentioning that her day will be harder than usual for both herself and her change. How dare the nanny even mention such a thing?!!!

Makes me hate MBs in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

MB here. That is a weird, and unnecessary response. Is it possible she was trying to say that she didn't expect you to do that? Maybe she's well aware that it would be rude of her to assume and she was trying to convey that she doesn't consider it at all necessary for you to have had to deal w/ their laundry.

Just trying to offer a gentler point of view... I would have been hugely appreciative OP, but also embarassed that I'd left my own laundry in your way.


OP here.

I personally would be uncomfortable with someone else folding my laundry, so I get that to an extent. It just felt like a strange response. If she would have said, "I feel uncomfortable with you folding our laundry. Next time please leave it." I would find it odd, but the response, "weird you would want to fold our underwear" kind of offended me.

Huh, that isn't what you said in your first post, OP.

That said, it is a weird response and probably due to her embarrassment that she left the laundry in your way. Try to be more charitable and less offended by such a minor comment.

OP WAS being charitable by folding her bosses laundry. A rude comment after hours is not minor and should not be taken as such.

We are all busy, stressed, and overwhelmed at times, these are not excuses for bad behavior. Why are MB/DBs given impunity while nannies are never allowed to complain or be dissatisfied with any aspect of their job?

Why do SAHM write books and articles about how very very difficult their lives are but a nanny cannot complain about one thing without being told to "shut up and get back to work?" This is especially true on this forum. A nanny writes that her day will be "challenging" because MB is going to work at home that day and the nanny is called lazy and entitled for even mentioning that her day will be harder than usual for both herself and her change. How dare the nanny even mention such a thing?!!!

Makes me hate MBs in general.

OP again.

I don't hate my amb, she isn't a mean spirited person. I just was so put off by the comment.

Most MBs are good people, just as most nannies are good people. Bad experiences should not make you write off all of either groups of women.

I do see what you are saying, and I think it can be wrapped up to elitism. I mean, how often are we referred ro as the help on here?