Question for nannies who do more than "light housekeeping"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously no one should be offended of being asked to do housekeeping items if you do not have kids for a certain amount of time.

Don't we want to be taken seriously as a job? Then real jobs do not get 2 hour or more breaks per day.

There were a few days this week and last where I would not have either kids for an hour and I asked MB what I could do in that hour.

No nanny would clean toilets. Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do anything and everything that involves the child - laundry, cleaning the child's room and bathroom, making meals and cleaning up after. However I would be insulted and angry if I was ever asked to do anything for the parent like their laundry or their dishes. I simply would not do it but it would also make me respect the parents much less.

If you want a housekeeper who keeps and eye on your kids occasionally - get one.

Exactly. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously no one should be offended of being asked to do housekeeping items if you do not have kids for a certain amount of time.

Don't we want to be taken seriously as a job? Then real jobs do not get 2 hour or more breaks per day.

There were a few days this week and last where I would not have either kids for an hour and I asked MB what I could do in that hour.

No nanny would clean toilets. Nice try.

Not cleaning toilets, but other household items yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously no one should be offended of being asked to do housekeeping items if you do not have kids for a certain amount of time.

Don't we want to be taken seriously as a job? Then real jobs do not get 2 hour or more breaks per day.

There were a few days this week and last where I would not have either kids for an hour and I asked MB what I could do in that hour.

No nanny would clean toilets. Nice try.

Not cleaning toilets, but other household items yes.

Child-related, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here - Asking her to clean your house and do your laundry is not okay. BUT!!! You can ask her to do many other things. I've been with my nanny family almost 8 years and things have changed over the years. I do kids laundry, easy errands (post office, dry earners, target), grocery shopping, organization, dishwasher and sweeping kids areas. If your nanny won't do any of those, get a new nanny because those are reasonable duties. Do not ask her to clean your house or do YOUR laundry.

I disagree. This nanny may not want to clean houses or do laundry and that is totally okay. However, many nannies do take on these tasks when the kids enter school. Not every one hates housecleaning of finds it demeaning. Some people actually like the mindlessness of it, others find it satisfying to care for an entire family instead of just the children, and still others don't particularly love it but love their family and want to stay on even as the job duties evolve. Bottom line is you can ask anything, just don't attempt to redefine the job unilaterally.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Definitely suggest help with child-related tasks - organising toys and clothes, laundry, etc. You could also suggest she plan and prepare crafts projects to do when the kids are at home with her. Our kids are 4 and 6 and our PT nanny has fewer childcare hours over the summer as the kids' day at camp is longer than when they are in school, but she is still paid her guaranteed hours so she is doing these sorts of things as well as very kindly organising some summer homework that we as parents can do with the kids on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do anything and everything that involves the child - laundry, cleaning the child's room and bathroom, making meals and cleaning up after. However I would be insulted and angry if I was ever asked to do anything for the parent like their laundry or their dishes. I simply would not do it but it would also make me respect the parents much less.

If you want a housekeeper who keeps and eye on your kids occasionally - get one.

Same here. I do the kids' grocery shopping, make their meals (all homemade from scratch usually), do their laundry and ironing, clean their room and bathroom and, obviously, am there and available when they are sick or have a holiday from school that doesn't line up with parents' holidays of federal holidays (which happens so much more than parents think it will). I would never do general housecleaning or parents laundry. I have always done lesson planning during my lunch break - when they were very young I'd simply plan our next excursion but now that they are in preschool I make puzzles and flashcards.

[Anonymous]

OP continue to put your children first. Here is a person whose sole job is to give you kids the best childhood experience possible. What can your children benefit from at there current ages? Do you want them to do science experiments for kids? Do you want them to learn another language? Go hiking and learn basic survival skills? Do you have emergency kits for each member of the family and a stocked emergency supply of food, water, first aid kit, and maps? Even small children can learn some first aid skills. Would you like them to practice kindness and compassion through volunteer service?

Your nanny's duties should evolve to reflect your kids development. Maybe you can look at some of the models of child development, such as the hierarchy of needs, and journal about where your kids are. Then share your insights with the nanny. Make a plan together.

[Anonymous]

Well if both your children will be attending school, then it makes no financial or practical sense to pay a nanny as well. Because as you stated, you will be paying her to do "nothing." Essentially.

If you need her to be "on-call" for your children in the event of illness, school closure, etc. and need her to make herself available for your family during school hours however then it would only be fair that she be compensated since she is bound to your family and cannot use that time to work for another family.

However, she shouldn't get paid for doing absolutely nothing like your husband stated.

If you do not think she would be okay cleaning your home, I say you assign her other household task to complete while your children are in school.

Examples would be: light chores such as vacuuming, sweeping, taking out trash/recycling on garbage days, loading/emptying dishwasher, pet/plant care (if needed), cabinet/drawer/closet organization, bed making, laundry duties, ironing, grocery shopping, Coscto, pharmacy runs, return library items, take the car for oil changes/car washes, drop-off/pick-up dry cleaning, bill paying, etc.

I am quite sure w/two working parents and two young children and a house to maintain there are many things to do beside clean a home and your current Nanny can make your lives much easier if given certain tasks to complete.

[Anonymous]

I would have her help out at school as much as possible by volunteering and such!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I knew I'd get some honest responses here, which I appreciate. When I've mentioned this situation to friends, I have had 4-5 people tell me, "you can just have her clean your house/cook your meals/run your errands."

As for why I didn't ask our nanny first, it's not because I thought she'd quit, that's not her personality. It's more that I thought it might offend her but also that she'd be reluctant to say no--which is more her style.

Honestly, I am fine with her having an extended break, since I do view it as effectively paying for insurance for all the days we will need her despite the fact that both kids will be in school for some time. And there are certain things (grocery shopping, for instance) that I prefer to do myself.

FWIW DH and I clean our own house. I have worked previously as both a nanny and a housekeeper and I don't think either is demeaning work. But I do get that cleaning someone else's house isn't everyone's cup of tea, and I suspect our nanny is one of those people. I think I will be able to persuade DH that this is a temporary situation, and also, we'll ask her to do kids' laundry and maybe an errand a week or so. Thanks for the input.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I knew I'd get some honest responses here, which I appreciate. When I've mentioned this situation to friends, I have had 4-5 people tell me, "you can just have her clean your house/cook your meals/run your errands."

As for why I didn't ask our nanny first, it's not because I thought she'd quit, that's not her personality. It's more that I thought it might offend her but also that she'd be reluctant to say no--which is more her style.

Honestly, I am fine with her having an extended break, since I do view it as effectively paying for insurance for all the days we will need her despite the fact that both kids will be in school for some time. And there are certain things (grocery shopping, for instance) that I prefer to do myself.

FWIW DH and I clean our own house. I have worked previously as both a nanny and a housekeeper and I don't think either is demeaning work. But I do get that cleaning someone else's house isn't everyone's cup of tea, and I suspect our nanny is one of those people. I think I will be able to persuade DH that this is a temporary situation, and also, we'll ask her to do kids' laundry and maybe an errand a week or so. Thanks for the input.

You are a breath of fresh air. So clear thinking and straight forward. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny how your priorities are about maximizing your paid break time.

No, my priority is the best possible care of the child I have agreed to care for.
What's yours? Obviously, it's different than mine.

Clearly they are - providing the best possible care of the child you agreed to care for is not on my list of priorities at all, and never will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not PP, but I too would not appreciate being asked to do housekeeping. Not because it is housekeeping (I clean my own house after all), but because to me that is not within the scope of my job. I would be similarly offended if my boss asked me to do their taxes, fix their sink, or take their phone calls; it simply isn't within the scope of the job I signed up for. Now I'm sure some genius will pop in and say that the job is whatever the boss defines it as, and of course it is to an extent, but it isn't good management to drastically change the definition and scope of someone's position and expect to retain good employees. If your boss hired you to do your job, and you agreed to it and are perfectly comfortable doing tasks generally within that realm, I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate them coming to you and saying "our needs have changed a bit and what really I need now is a butt wiper/whatever you used to be."

All of that being said, I have no desire to sit around and stare at your walls for 8 hours a week, and have you resent me for it. I would appreciate my employer coming to me with their concerns and having a discussion about how we can make those hours productive. I think at the very least she can take on kid laundry now, and maybe she has things that she enjoys doing and wouldn't mind taking on for you. I love to cook, and don't see it as work. I would be happy to prepare dinner for the family on mornings I had no children.

You are contradicting yourself. You say you won't agree to housekeeping not because it's beneath you, but because it's "not within the scope of your job."

But in the second paragraph, you say you wouldn't mind taking on OTHER things that are also clearly not within the scope of your job, yet still enjoyable or at least not disagreeable to you - like cooking. So it's not that you object to things outside the scope of your job. It's that you want to participate in deciding WHAT things outside the scope of your job you will take on. Some of them - like cleaning - you won't. Others - like cooking - you might. Don't pretend it's about "not within the scope of my job". It's about things you like vs. things you don't like. It's about your personal preference, not the principle of job scope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I knew I'd get some honest responses here, which I appreciate. When I've mentioned this situation to friends, I have had 4-5 people tell me, "you can just have her clean your house/cook your meals/run your errands."

As for why I didn't ask our nanny first, it's not because I thought she'd quit, that's not her personality. It's more that I thought it might offend her but also that she'd be reluctant to say no--which is more her style.

Honestly, I am fine with her having an extended break, since I do view it as effectively paying for insurance for all the days we will need her despite the fact that both kids will be in school for some time. And there are certain things (grocery shopping, for instance) that I prefer to do myself.

FWIW DH and I clean our own house. I have worked previously as both a nanny and a housekeeper and I don't think either is demeaning work. But I do get that cleaning someone else's house isn't everyone's cup of tea, and I suspect our nanny is one of those people. I think I will be able to persuade DH that this is a temporary situation, and also, we'll ask her to do kids' laundry and maybe an errand a week or so. Thanks for the input.

She can do more than ONE errand a week.