Question for nannies who do more than "light housekeeping"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny how your priorities are about maximizing your paid break time.

No, my priority is the best possible care of the child I have agreed to care for.
What's yours? Obviously, it's different than mine.

And doing housework during the time they are in preschool compromises that care how?

You're most welcome to hire all the housecleaners you want, however, I will never be one of them. Bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her. If any employer asked me about "cleaning" their house, I would be so offended that I'd be on my way out. Thank goodness, no one ever has.

But I do enjoy organizing, so you just need to discuss it with her.

Please let us know how it goes, OP, and what you both decide. GL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw. You can consider the work of taking care of children to have more value than the work of cleaning but still consider the people who do these jobs to be of equal value. When any question about nannies taking on housework is met (not universally but pretty substantially) with a chorus of "But I am not a housekeeper!" all that comes across is a pretty ugly distain for the people that do that work.

Wrong, but nice try.

Then why is simply being asked about taking on housework so offensive that people would quit over it!

[Anonymous]

I would at a minimum expect the kids rooms clean with beds changed as well as the common areas that the kids are in. I don't think its unreasonable. That or either risk losing your job as the needs of the family have changed.

[Anonymous]

"Healthy boundaries are an essential element of successful professional nannies."

[Anonymous]

Nanny here - Asking her to clean your house and do your laundry is not okay. BUT!!! You can ask her to do many other things. I've been with my nanny family almost 8 years and things have changed over the years. I do kids laundry, easy errands (post office, dry earners, target), grocery shopping, organization, dishwasher and sweeping kids areas. If your nanny won't do any of those, get a new nanny because those are reasonable duties. Do not ask her to clean your house or do YOUR laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see why it's "offensive" Sure, you might prefer a two hour break each day, but isn't it reasonable for an employer to revisit your duties as their needs change? More housekeeping may not be for you. Or, as OP was suggesting, there may be a middle position with kids laundry avid were and errands. But I don't get the immediate response of "offense" and even the implication that not waiting to pay someone for 6 hours of break time a week means they don't value stability in their kids lives (now that's offensive!)

I would think if many posters here want more value placed on caring for kids (devalued because it is traditionally unpaid work done by women), they would not go out of their way to devalue similar domestic work done by others.

I'm not PP, but I too would not appreciate being asked to do housekeeping. Not because it is housekeeping (I clean my own house after all), but because to me that is not within the scope of my job. I would be similarly offended if my boss asked me to do their taxes, fix their sink, or take their phone calls; it simply isn't within the scope of the job I signed up for. Now I'm sure some genius will pop in and say that the job is whatever the boss defines it as, and of course it is to an extent, but it isn't good management to drastically change the definition and scope of someone's position and expect to retain good employees. If your boss hired you to do your job, and you agreed to it and are perfectly comfortable doing tasks generally within that realm, I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate them coming to you and saying "our needs have changed a bit and what really I need now is a butt wiper/whatever you used to be."

All of that being said, I have no desire to sit around and stare at your walls for 8 hours a week, and have you resent me for it. I would appreciate my employer coming to me with their concerns and having a discussion about how we can make those hours productive. I think at the very least she can take on kid laundry now, and maybe she has things that she enjoys doing and wouldn't mind taking on for you. I love to cook, and don't see it as work. I would be happy to prepare dinner for the family on mornings I had no children.

This is very well said. I'm an MB and to me it makes sense that you wouldn't want to do housecleaning since you are not a housekeeper. I appreciate though that you understand most employers would start to resent paying for 8 hours of free time a week. I think it makes total sense to sit down together and figure out what would make everyone happy.

[Anonymous]

Nanny again- I also make meals for the kids and freeze so the parents have them on weekends. Even family meal prep or asking her to make soup is reasonable!

[Anonymous]

Nanny here whose boss recently told me my job was anything they tell me to do. They want a houskeeper/laundress/house manager/personal assistant/cook who, of course still makes their kids her priority.

I hope they eventually either find what they want, and for the kids sakes I hope they don't cycle through too many warm bodies while searching for that person.

I'll be leaving when I find a new job. All the ridiculousness started when I had 6 free hours a week with kids in school.

OP, ask nanny to do child related chores like laundry or grocery shopping or cooking. Learn from other's mistakes, and help your DH realize that paying for 6 hours of care insurance is way cheaper than finding another nanny.

[Anonymous]

Why do these conversations always come down to how much" free time" the nanny has?

Children don't always nap the same amount.
As children age, naps change.
At no age can the nanny leave the house. She is 100% responsible for the safety of your child whether he is asleep or awake.

And saying we are not housekeepers in no way should imply any sort of disdain for them. The "chorus" MB refers to almost universally agrees housekeepers get paid MORE than nannies - the fact is, it's a different job. If I was great at cleaning and ironing I could make more as a housekeeper than I do as a nanny, but my skill set is focused around working with kids so that's off the table for me. Not because I'm "too good" for it, but because I'm actually not good enough at it

OP I agree that children's laundry is an easy yes. As are simple errands, meal preps (for kids, maybe for adults if discussed and something the nanny is comfortable with), but your laundry and housekeeping is a no-go. Remind yourself or your husband that the "free" hours you are paying for now will end as your child grows but you will have the same trustworthy nanny who won't complain about how she USED to have two hours a day to relax and now she only has one, etc. We know job needs change but housekeeping and nannying are two separate jobs (unless you hire a housekeeper-slash-nanny), so my advice would be to approach the nanny by saying that since your eldest started K you believe she has a lot more free time during the day and here are some child-related tasks you'd love to have her look over. Ask her which ones she would feel comfortable doing and keep the conversation open so when your little one stops napping for a week or drops down to 40min a day for a while that she knows which of those additional tasks can slide (or not) depending on your needs.

[Anonymous]

I would be ok with doing homework, organization of the kids closets, getting things ready for the next day like lunches and packing backpacks the day before and doing a coat/glove check to make sure things are in their correct place. I would also be willing to manage the children's appointments and activities, being in charge of the children's calendar. The limit here is your creativity and ability to delegate appropriately.

I will not wash your clothes though. My passion is taking care of children. I am motivated by my deep love for them to do even the most boring and tedious tasks. I have no passion for taking care of adults or cleaning houses. I do not have the well of love for your bathroom to care how clean it is. I would be miserable doing that stuff.

[Anonymous]

I think at least one parent here hates the fact that she has a child, so she hates whoever cares for her child. She sounds as if she'd really like to spit on her child's nanny. Isn't that so sad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny how your priorities are about maximizing your paid break time.

No, my priority is the best possible care of the child I have agreed to care for.
What's yours? Obviously, it's different than mine.

And doing housework during the time they are in preschool compromises that care how?

The above poster is ms hateful. And a lazy ass too, if she thinks she can't clean her own dirty toilets.

[Anonymous]

Seriously no one should be offended of being asked to do housekeeping items if you do not have kids for a certain amount of time.

Don't we want to be taken seriously as a job? Then real jobs do not get 2 hour or more breaks per day.

There were a few days this week and last where I would not have either kids for an hour and I asked MB what I could do in that hour.

[Anonymous]

I do anything and everything that involves the child - laundry, cleaning the child's room and bathroom, making meals and cleaning up after. However I would be insulted and angry if I was ever asked to do anything for the parent like their laundry or their dishes. I simply would not do it but it would also make me respect the parents much less.

If you want a housekeeper who keeps and eye on your kids occasionally - get one.