WWYD is this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe the posters who are in Systane that it is necessary that we teach young children that fat people are morally repugnant because they eat junk food. Because that is the message a young child hears when you tell them that it is okay to make judgments about an obese person. And it is laughable that people are drawing lines between someone who is overweight and someone who is obese in this situation. We are talking about the impression on a three-year-old. That child is not going to be able to differentiate between someone who is a little bit overweight or very obese. What they are going to note is that the grownups around them think that fat people are bad and that it is important never to be fat.

The reality is that a child asked his or her caregiver why someone had a body type that is outside of typical norms. Instead of using that moments to teach manners ("we do not discuss other peoples bodies.") or to teach acceptance for all people ("there are a lot of different kinds of bodies.") The caregiver decided that this moment, which was only about physical appearance, should somehow be directly tied in the child's mind to eating habits. This is exactly the type of attitude that gives young girls eating disorders.

I want my kids to eat healthy, but I want them to do it because they want their bodies to be strong and healthy. I do not want them to eat healthy because they are worried about their weight. The reality is that you cannot look at someone and know whether they are healthy or not, how healthy they are, or how they got to that place. But even if you could, teaching a young child that they better watch what they eat so they don't turn into a fat person is an extremely unhealthy attitude to instill. And if you actually care about your children or the children you are nannying for, then you would be invested in them believing themselves to be valuable worthy and lovely people regardless of how they look.

So you don't care if your kids are fat, 300lbs at 20 years old ... as long as they are "healthy" and "strong"? So fat, cancer free, and strong enough to carry 300lbs of fat to the bathroom on a daily basis and your happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe the posters who are in Systane that it is necessary that we teach young children that fat people are morally repugnant because they eat junk food. Because that is the message a young child hears when you tell them that it is okay to make judgments about an obese person. And it is laughable that people are drawing lines between someone who is overweight and someone who is obese in this situation. We are talking about the impression on a three-year-old. That child is not going to be able to differentiate between someone who is a little bit overweight or very obese. What they are going to note is that the grownups around them think that fat people are bad and that it is important never to be fat.

The reality is that a child asked his or her caregiver why someone had a body type that is outside of typical norms. Instead of using that moments to teach manners ("we do not discuss other peoples bodies.") or to teach acceptance for all people ("there are a lot of different kinds of bodies.") The caregiver decided that this moment, which was only about physical appearance, should somehow be directly tied in the child's mind to eating habits. This is exactly the type of attitude that gives young girls eating disorders.

I want my kids to eat healthy, but I want them to do it because they want their bodies to be strong and healthy. I do not want them to eat healthy because they are worried about their weight. The reality is that you cannot look at someone and know whether they are healthy or not, how healthy they are, or how they got to that place. But even if you could, teaching a young child that they better watch what they eat so they don't turn into a fat person is an extremely unhealthy attitude to instill. And if you actually care about your children or the children you are nannying for, then you would be invested in them believing themselves to be valuable worthy and lovely people regardless of how they look.

So you don't care if your kids are fat, 300lbs at 20 years old ... as long as they are "healthy" and "strong"? So fat, cancer free, and strong enough to carry 300lbs of fat to the bathroom on a daily basis and your happy?

You are setting up a false dichotomy:
Warn children to watch what they eat because they must never get fat
OR
Tell children that healthy bodies can look many different ways and end up with morbidly obese kids.

That is absurd and I think you probably know it.

My goal is for my kids to know that the true markers of health are things that don't show up on a scale: healthy heart rate and blood pressure, the ability to run, swim and dance without losig one's breath, feeling energized and happy, sleeping well and deeply and waking refreshed, just generally being able to do as you wish without your body shutting down.

So I teach them about healthy eating. I teach them about exercise. We shop for and prepare healthy foods as a family. We are outside and getting exercise all the time.

I teach them habits that will keep them healthy.

What I don't teach is that what they look like in the mirror is a reflection of their worth. If my kid gets chubby right before a growth spurt, I want him or her to ignore it, because they still feel all the signs of health, rather than developing and eating disorder trying to stay thin. If my child is naturally thin, I want him or her to know that that does NOT mean he/she is healthy if he /she cannot run up a flight of stairs without getting winded.

I have a friend who is a nutritionist who marathons in her spare time with a body type that can only be described as chubby. I have a friend who is skinny not matter what she eats and takes it as license to eat junk constantly--and she is constantly complaining about being tired and worn down.

The mirror and the scale are the LEAST relevant reflections of health. I teach my kids to focus on true health.

So yes, if my kid is somehow able to run or swim or lift weights daily and has healthy test results and is eating nourishing foods and wakes every day with a spring in his or her step, but somehow is still morbidly obese, then I will regard him/her as healthy--but I believe that if he/she is doing all those things, he/she won't have that problem barring a serious medical condition.

[Anonymous]

OP you have lost your thread to the rantings of a few blattering busy bodies. If you are still reading I hope you will take in the full spectrum of responses, particularly the people who were logical and thoughtful in their replies.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I very rarely post on here because of the drama and immaturity so I'm not surprised that it turned into a bitch fest at all. Apparently people on here can't have a discussion without calling others names or going off. It's funny that the ones who are saying that I handled it wrong are the ones who are calling me a bitch or attacking others.

Anyways, I appreciate all of the responses. I did bring the situation up to DB last night before he let me leave and he said that I handled it better then he would have. He obviously doesn't want his child to grow up thinking it's okay to talk about how someone looks but he also doesn't want her to think that it's okay to be that size...those were his exact words FYI as I know some of you are going to go off about that.

My charge hasn't brought it up today but if she ever points out someone again who has a "big belly", I'll handle it pretty much the same way by saying we don't talk about how someone looks. I obviously don't want her thinking that is okay and I told her that it can hurt people's feelings but I'm sorry, this was a good way to teach the importance of healthy eating too. Sure, this woman could have had a medical issue or had been losing weight, etc., but that's not the case for everyone. The US has such a high number of obese people that it's scary. We need to start teaching our kids and nanny kids better eating habits because it's NOT healthy to be that big and it's NOT healthy to eat junk food all the time.

[Anonymous]

Op you're awesome. I mean you're a psychic for knowing that she eats unhealthy and also a dr. Wow who'd a thunk it a dr. Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you're awesome. I mean you're a psychic for knowing that she eats unhealthy and also a dr. Wow who'd a thunk it a dr. Nanny

She must be massively obese because she eats lots of veggies and fruit and nuts!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you're awesome. I mean you're a psychic for knowing that she eats unhealthy and also a dr. Wow who'd a thunk it a dr. Nanny

OP here: thank you for your extremely helpful input! Finally someone realizes that I'm psychic and a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, definitely teach children it's "not okay" to be a certain size. Rather than focusing on how to make healthy choices, teach them that some bodies are not okay.

FWIW I am not obese but did gain a good deal of weight for that past two years while I've been on steroids for a medical condition. It's such a comfort to know there are people like you out there assuming I just can't put down the Oreos, rather than considering that you know nothing about my personal life, medical conditions, or dietary and exercise habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, definitely teach children it's "not okay" to be a certain size. Rather than focusing on how to make healthy choices, teach them that some bodies are not okay.

FWIW I am not obese but did gain a good deal of weight for that past two years while I've been on steroids for a medical condition. It's such a comfort to know there are people like you out there assuming I just can't put down the Oreos, rather than considering that you know nothing about my personal life, medical conditions, or dietary and exercise habits.

OP here: AGAIN, I told her "SOMETIMES people get big tummys from eating too much." I didn't sit there and tell her that is always the case. Now tha I have talked to my DB about it and was told that I handled it good as far as they are comcerned,
I'm fine with how I handled it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, definitely teach children it's "not okay" to be a certain size. Rather than focusing on how to make healthy choices, teach them that some bodies are not okay.

FWIW I am not obese but did gain a good deal of weight for that past two years while I've been on steroids for a medical condition. It's such a comfort to know there are people like you out there assuming I just can't put down the Oreos, rather than considering that you know nothing about my personal life, medical conditions, or dietary and exercise habits.

OP here: AGAIN, I told her "SOMETIMES people get big tummys from eating too much." I didn't sit there and tell her that is always the case. Now tha I have talked to my DB about it and was told that I handled it good as far as they are comcerned,
I'm fine with how I handled it.

Good for you.

I reserve my right to consider your handling of it offensive and less than ideal. "People come in all shapes and sizes" is adequate and appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, definitely teach children it's "not okay" to be a certain size. Rather than focusing on how to make healthy choices, teach them that some bodies are not okay.

FWIW I am not obese but did gain a good deal of weight for that past two years while I've been on steroids for a medical condition. It's such a comfort to know there are people like you out there assuming I just can't put down the Oreos, rather than considering that you know nothing about my personal life, medical conditions, or dietary and exercise habits.

OP here: AGAIN, I told her "SOMETIMES people get big tummys from eating too much." I didn't sit there and tell her that is always the case. Now tha I have talked to my DB about it and was told that I handled it good as far as they are comcerned,
I'm fine with how I handled it.

Good for you.

I reserve my right to consider your handling of it offensive and less than ideal. "People come in all shapes and sizes" is adequate and appropriate.

Being obese is NOT okay and I shouldn't have to pay higher insurance rates because people like you think it is okay to be over 300 to 400 pounds. You are part of the problem and why we have a childhood obesity epidemic. Sick.

[Anonymous]

Here we go with the fake concern trolling. I hope you're also outside worried about smokers, people who drink, and people who tan. Stfu!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, definitely teach children it's "not okay" to be a certain size. Rather than focusing on how to make healthy choices, teach them that some bodies are not okay.

FWIW I am not obese but did gain a good deal of weight for that past two years while I've been on steroids for a medical condition. It's such a comfort to know there are people like you out there assuming I just can't put down the Oreos, rather than considering that you know nothing about my personal life, medical conditions, or dietary and exercise habits.

OP here: AGAIN, I told her "SOMETIMES people get big tummys from eating too much." I didn't sit there and tell her that is always the case. Now tha I have talked to my DB about it and was told that I handled it good as far as they are comcerned,
I'm fine with how I handled it.

Good for you.

I reserve my right to consider your handling of it offensive and less than ideal. "People come in all shapes and sizes" is adequate and appropriate.

Being obese is NOT okay and I shouldn't have to pay higher insurance rates because people like you think it is okay to be over 300 to 400 pounds. You are part of the problem and why we have a childhood obesity epidemic. Sick.

[Anonymous]

I would have explained not to comment on peoples appearance like that as it hurts peoples feelings and left it at that. I don't think any more explanation was needed or that using the woman as a lesson was appropriate. It feeds into the whole 'thin people eat healthy and fat people dont' mentality. I would rather teach my charge the importance of eating healthily. Theres plenty of time for them to learn and understand about weight gain when theyre older