Do I have a right to be peeved at this??

[Anonymous]

I think there are nannies out there who sit their charges in front of the T.V. all day and let the T.V. entertain the child and do all the work. They kill the hours by putting on show after show and parents are basically paying the nanny to work the remote control all day. These nannies are abusing the T.V. privilege tenfold and your DB is categorizing you into one of these nannies which is not fair.

There are some parents out there, hello Alicia Silverstone, who do not let their children have any screen time for personal reasons and that is their personal choice. But it doesn't make any sense if a parent is not anti~television in general, they just only allow it when THEY are home. It's like they are saying to the nanny, "Yes, childcare is hard work, but we don't give a shit, we are paying you, you are on our time, so do your job OUR way or hit the highway, but when we come home....We can do things OUR way which is putting the child in front of the television the rest of the evening so we can rest up and ignore the child since we paid you to give the child the attention that we do not give him."

Your DB made an assumption that you were going to sit the child in front of the T.V. ALL day long and abuse the privilege, when all you asked for was a small portion of the time.

As a nanny, my bosses allow me as much T.V. as I choose for my charges, but I know not to take full advantage of this privilege and since I work between 9~11 hr. shifts, I usually allow no more than an hr. per day. I make sure this hr. is used wisely. Meaning right before parents come home while I load dishwasher, wipe countertops/tabletops, clean highchairs and sweep floors. My goodness without that T.V. time I could still do my job, but it is so much easier with Bubble Guppies to entertain them.

[Anonymous]

OP, you've gotten some great advice here. I'll add to it by saying that if I were you I'd focus on helping your charge with his independent play. If he can't play on his own for 10 minutes while you clean up then it should be something you work on. There's no quick fix, just something to start working on. PPs have given you some ideas.

Is the house child safe? If not, that's something the parents should take care of (or pay you to take care of). The regular living areas should be safe enough for a toddler to hang out in without you right by his side. Obviously he should be in eyesight (or if he's behind you in the kitchen you can hear him) but shouldn't need you sitting right with him at all times. Ya know?

With my charges have been this age I've definitely been able to take care of stuff around the house while they play around the same area. It's not your fault if your charge can't do this but is something you can work on. Good luck

[Anonymous]

I have a 3.5yr old and a 23mth old and still manage to get duties done with no tv. I could put it on if I wanted but the 23mth old will only watch for 5mins at a time anyway and he would then be a nuisance as he wouldn't want to watch tv but he would want his sister to play with him and she will just want tv.
I do put it on occassionaly but usually at a time I can sit with them. I think its really important they learn to occupy themselves so I organise myself so theres time in the day where they have 'free play' and I tidy up/do laundry etc. They usually have free play for 30mins after breakfast while I tidy breakfast stuff up and put a load of laundry on, then occasionally another 15mins just before lunch while I do lunch and switch laundry. then they get about 45mins late afternoon while I make dinner, they then help tidy up and lay the table

[Anonymous]

I have 3 children and the oldest is 3 1/2 and I still manage to do everything (as does their nanny) without using the tv so it doesn't speak very highly of you as a nanny that you can't clean up from lunch with 1 toddler without using the tv. With that said, I understand that it would be kind of frustrating that the parents said no when they do it themselves. The thing is though they are the parents so they get to make those decisions.

And to all of you who think it's a double standard I'd like to tell you what our fantastic nanny said to me the other day:
I usually work 2 or 3 days a week but this past week (for the first time since before my oldest was born) I had to work 5 days. On Thursday as she was leaving she said to me "you must be so tired." I said, "yes but you must be too." After all, she works longer days than I do but she said to me "but the difference is you come home after working all day and still have to take care of 3 children. I don't have to do what you do when I get home."

[Anonymous]

I think it is very inconsiderate to have a T.V. inside the house, but to not let you have access to it. It's like you are a child yourself and you are not to touch it by any means.

Thirty minutes a day of television never hurt any kid that I know of.

What studies have proved that moderate T.V. viewing has destroyed children? Have some children grown up to become more violent? Murderers? Rapists? Pedophiles??!!

The "experts" who say children under 2 should not watch any T.V. are just boneheads.
Many children under 2 have been exposed to television watching and have come out just as normal as those who have not. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

MB here. If I ask you not to put the tv on for my child then you don't put the tv on. Or you face losing a job. Whether or not I hold myself to the same standards I expect of you isn't something you can do anything about.

But, I see a different issue here - the naps. A 19 mth old child should be taking two longer naps, or at least one nap of a couple of hours. Fix that and you will have the time you need to clean, relax, etc...

I have twin toddlers (now 2 1/2) - they still take a nap of 2-3 hours every afternoon. That's when I get the household stuff done. But when they were 19 mths I could still use other things to keep them safe and busy for a few quick minutes - how about a bouncy chair, or a toy/coloring book/playdoh in the high chair. All of those should buy you a few minutes of time.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the MB's statement above.

It is morally wrong to tell your nanny not to do something when you yourself are doing it.

So many parents tell their nannies to not do something all day, then when they come home they allow their children to do it.

It's like a slap in the face for us nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the MB's statement above.

It is morally wrong to tell your nanny not to do something when you yourself are doing it.

So many parents tell their nannies to not do something all day, then when they come home they allow their children to do it.

It's like a slap in the face for us nannies.

I don't disagree with you (and I'm the MB whose post you're referencing) but I'm just saying that as the nanny you're stuck with the situation. You can't make your employers behave differently - you just have to figure out how to copie with it.

I don't ask or demand anything of our nanny that I don't do myself, but if I did she would be fairly powerless to do anything about it, other than find a new job.

But figuring out ways for a toddler to be safely occupied for few minutes, and to be napping better and longer, should be well within the capabilities of any competent caregiver - parent, nanny, or daycare.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and in no way do I think it is hypocritical or unacceptable to hold a nanny to different standards. My charge wakes up at 5am daily and I'm certain his parents have survived this long by making the most of Netflix's streaming nature shows in the morning while I myself have only used TV/screen time for educational purposes (watching ducklings hatch on YouTube most recently) or if I am seriously ill and need 15 minutes in the bathroom. That's happened twice in two years. I get paid to do my job and I get paid to do it without television; whatever my MB and DB do when I'm off duty is irrelevant. Their son knows nanny=no TV and it's never been an issue for either of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the MB's statement above.

It is morally wrong to tell your nanny not to do something when you yourself are doing it.

So many parents tell their nannies to not do something all day, then when they come home they allow their children to do it.

It's like a slap in the face for us nannies.

It's morally wrong???

It's hypocritical to tell someone not to lie while you go around all day telling whoppers, but the "morally wrong" part is the lying.

The kid doesn't need tv. Parents have hired a childcare professional who they think should know better than they do, probably, because of her expertise and experience, how to keep a child engaged and safe without the tv.

Is it "morally wrong" for you to expect a chef to cook everything from scratch when you buy your dinner at his restaurant while you might open a can to make it at home? You took a short cut you're not willing to pay someone else to take in that case.

[Anonymous]

OP, I worked this morning for twin 20month-olds. We tfolded a load of their laundry and put it away while they played, then got dressed, brushed teeth and cleaned up their rooms. Then we went to the park. We ate snack at the park and came home in time for me to fix some steamed veggies and sandwiches for lunch (while they played in the kitchen). While they ate, I loaded the dishwasher and tidied the counters. Then after lunch, I wiped them down and left them in the high chairs for 5 minutes while I cleaned up the rest of the food and swept the floor. They sat happily in their chairs because I talked to them and sang songs. I did all that during their waking hours. Get it together.

[Anonymous]

OP, this father is just rude and disrespectful to say he isn't paying you to put his child in front of the t.V.all day.

He totally disrespected you and that is a deal breaker.

I would give my notice and move on to another job.

There are families out there who will treat you with more respect than this one.

This family is no good for you.

They think of you as just the hired help.

They probably sit their child in front of the t.V. all day long when you are not there.

They need to practice what they preach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the MB's statement above.

It is morally wrong to tell your nanny not to do something when you yourself are doing it.

So many parents tell their nannies to not do something all day, then when they come home they allow their children to do it.

It's like a slap in the face for us nannies.

What a load of crap! Morally wrong? It doesn't matter what the parents do with their children when they are with them. They are paying you and if they don't want you to turn the tv on, you don't turn the tv on. I had three little ones I took care of for over 50 hours a week. The only time the tv would be turned on when I was with them is when they were sick and the parents said it was ok. If you need tv to entertain the children you were hired to take care if, you should consider another line of work.

[Anonymous]

Just the way the father talked to me would make me ask for my walking papers.

You asked for thirty minutes of television and he denied you based on his belief that you were going to abuse the privilege and have the television on ALL day long.

People, can't you see what this DB is doing? He is using manipulation tactics?? Creepy.

Just as in corporate jobs, women are encouraged to ask what they want and to even demand what they feel is rightfully deserved. Lean in.

Yet everyone on here is criticizing this nanny.

Such backward thinking guys.

It's 2014. I say let it be the year of the Woman.

[Anonymous]

The DB isn't using manipulation tactics. He is being a boss, saying no to an employee's request.

(No one rightfully deserves a TV at work, 3:40.)