When MB is home..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I'm not defending failing to parent your kids. You missed my point though. If a nanny is with the kids five days a week for nine hours a day, I completely agree that that is the majority of the waking hours for those days. The parents are working for those nine hours too. Asduming you don't have kids yourself, then at the end of your nine hours, you get to go home and spend four of five hours on your own, sleep through the night, wake up and get showered and dressed on your own. On the weekends, you sleep until whenever you want, relax, run your errands, go out with friends if you want to. You show up Monday morning ready to focus on the kids and be a great, consistent nanny because you are refreshed, you've got all your errands done, you've had time for yourself.

A parent works nine hours just like you do. How do you feel at the end of your work day? Probably tired and like you need a break. Most people are not as good at their jobs, at being consistent, when they're tired. Parents come home feeling like that, but then they spend another three hours getting dinner on the table, playing with kids, giving them a bath, putting them to bed. They probably get an hour truly to themselves if they go to bed at like 10pm. On the weekends, they do your job. And not just from 8-5. They do it from 6:30am to 9pm both days. They do it while they're trying toget stuff done around the house and run errands. Again, they might get an hour or two to themselves on the weekend.

I'm not saying all this is impossible or complaining that I have it so hard. I love being a mom and I love working. I'm asking you to see how setting boundaries, being consistent, having them clean up every single time, etc is difficult when you're trying to do all that stuff on your second shift after you've already worked all day and when you get very little time to yourself.

I'm not saying we don't do it. I'm not saying let your kids run wild. I'm saying its difficult to do and asking nannies to have a little compassion if their MB doesn't run a ship quite as tight as you do.

+1000000. I could not agree with this more. I'm not saying this excuses OP's MBs behavior or absolves her from being a parent to her children. I work long hours and still come home and am consistent with my children and they are just as well behaved around me as they are with the nanny. I try VERY hard to keep it that way because as a PP said, why have children if you aren't going to put the work in to raise them properly. HOWEVER, unless they have children themselves, no nanny will every understand that being a nanny is NOT the same as being a parent. Don't get me wrong, nannies work extremely hard and deserve every minute of their time off, but it is just that: time off. When a nanny goes home her time is her own until she comes back to work. She has weekends to feel refreshed and ready to start a new work week. She can sleep in on weekends and relax and run errands without dragging children with her. As a parent I haven't had a good night sleep in literally years. Yes, it was my choice to have children and I wouldn't change that for the world but I do think nannies could try to be a little more compassionate to parents. Being a nanny is not the same.

Pity the live-in nanny who doesn't get to sleep in on the weekends. She may even get her wages reduced for that privilege if she's not so bright.

Irrelevant to the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one has said that being a nanny is identical to bein a parent. But when I, as a nanny do everything in my power to give you the easiest possible, most color-by-number version of parenting and you declare that that minimal quantity of effort to just complete what I have set up is too much work, then it's incredibly frustrating.

I am 12:41. On weeknights, my Mb and DB (and I blamed only MB because that's who we were discussing) have 3 hours withtheir children. All they have to do in that time is eat the meal I have already prepared, wash dinner dishes and put the kids to bed. This is a constant struggle. On weekends, I have leftovers for the kids lunches, and family dinners prepared. All the shopping for the house and the kids and all grocery shopping, laundry, dry cleaning is done.

If they have any errands, they are related to the yard, home or car repair or personal shopping, which, as a homeowner, I know is a tiny proportion of the actual work of running a household. The kids have zero screen time on my watch, and they spend very little time playing at home as we are on outings most days, so the kids are ready to just watch tv and play with toys with minimal supervision. So when it is obvious that the parents--between two adults and in ideal circumstances can't manage to provide a basic level of discipline, then yes, I wonder what is thr point of even trying to give these kids a normal childhood?

I'm 13:39 and I also agree with you. Your MB and DB are lucky to have you. My nanny is fantastic but she only does child care and I do everything else including making dinner, laundry, grocery shopping etc and I've still managed to give my children structure and a normal childhood. But with that said, just because I can do it doesn't mean everyone can. Just because someone loves and wants children doesn't mean they automatically have the intuition and knowledge to be a good parent. I can see why working for people like that would be frustrating to say the least. It annoys me and I don't even know them but I also feel sorry for them. It's a slippery slope to losing control of your children and while I work hard to make sure that doesn't happen with mine I can also see how easily it can happen when you are tired and sleep deprived. Just know that you are doing a great job and try not to take it personally that the parents don't have it in them to follow your example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I'm not defending failing to parent your kids. You missed my point though. If a nanny is with the kids five days a week for nine hours a day, I completely agree that that is the majority of the waking hours for those days. The parents are working for those nine hours too. Asduming you don't have kids yourself, then at the end of your nine hours, you get to go home and spend four of five hours on your own, sleep through the night, wake up and get showered and dressed on your own. On the weekends, you sleep until whenever you want, relax, run your errands, go out with friends if you want to. You show up Monday morning ready to focus on the kids and be a great, consistent nanny because you are refreshed, you've got all your errands done, you've had time for yourself.

A parent works nine hours just like you do. How do you feel at the end of your work day? Probably tired and like you need a break. Most people are not as good at their jobs, at being consistent, when they're tired. Parents come home feeling like that, but then they spend another three hours getting dinner on the table, playing with kids, giving them a bath, putting them to bed. They probably get an hour truly to themselves if they go to bed at like 10pm. On the weekends, they do your job. And not just from 8-5. They do it from 6:30am to 9pm both days. They do it while they're trying toget stuff done around the house and run errands. Again, they might get an hour or two to themselves on the weekend.

I'm not saying all this is impossible or complaining that I have it so hard. I love being a mom and I love working. I'm asking you to see how setting boundaries, being consistent, having them clean up every single time, etc is difficult when you're trying to do all that stuff on your second shift after you've already worked all day and when you get very little time to yourself.

I'm not saying we don't do it. I'm not saying let your kids run wild. I'm saying its difficult to do and asking nannies to have a little compassion if their MB doesn't run a ship quite as tight as you do.

+1000000. I could not agree with this more. I'm not saying this excuses OP's MBs behavior or absolves her from being a parent to her children. I work long hours and still come home and am consistent with my children and they are just as well behaved around me as they are with the nanny. I try VERY hard to keep it that way because as a PP said, why have children if you aren't going to put the work in to raise them properly. HOWEVER, unless they have children themselves, no nanny will every understand that being a nanny is NOT the same as being a parent. Don't get me wrong, nannies work extremely hard and deserve every minute of their time off, but it is just that: time off. When a nanny goes home her time is her own until she comes back to work. She has weekends to feel refreshed and ready to start a new work week. She can sleep in on weekends and relax and run errands without dragging children with her. As a parent I haven't had a good night sleep in literally years. Yes, it was my choice to have children and I wouldn't change that for the world but I do think nannies could try to be a little more compassionate to parents. Being a nanny is not the same.

Pity the live-in nanny who doesn't get to sleep in on the weekends. She may even get her wages reduced for that privilege if she's not so bright.

Irrelevant to the conversation.

You're such a poor reader and a control freak to. You missed where the previous poster said that nannies get to sleep in on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

No one has said that being a nanny is identical to bein a parent. But when I, as a nanny do everything in my power to give you the easiest possible, most color-by-number version of parenting and you declare that that minimal quantity of effort to just complete what I have set up is too much work, then it's incredibly frustrating.

I am 12:41. On weeknights, my Mb and DB (and I blamed only MB because that's who we were discussing) have 3 hours withtheir children. All they have to do in that time is eat the meal I have already prepared, wash dinner dishes and put the kids to bed. This is a constant struggle. On weekends, I have leftovers for the kids lunches, and family dinners prepared. All the shopping for the house and the kids and all grocery shopping, laundry, dry cleaning is done.

If they have any errands, they are related to the yard, home or car repair or personal shopping, which, as a homeowner, I know is a tiny proportion of the actual work of running a household. The kids have zero screen time on my watch, and they spend very little time playing at home as we are on outings most days, so the kids are ready to just watch tv and play with toys with minimal supervision. So when it is obvious that the parents--between two adults and in ideal circumstances can't manage to provide a basic level of discipline, then yes, I wonder what is thr point of even trying to give these kids a normal childhood?

You are not a parent, PP, and no parent needs to conform to you. They are not your kids. If you can't respect that, find another line of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I'm not defending failing to parent your kids. You missed my point though. If a nanny is with the kids five days a week for nine hours a day, I completely agree that that is the majority of the waking hours for those days. The parents are working for those nine hours too. Asduming you don't have kids yourself, then at the end of your nine hours, you get to go home and spend four of five hours on your own, sleep through the night, wake up and get showered and dressed on your own. On the weekends, you sleep until whenever you want, relax, run your errands, go out with friends if you want to. You show up Monday morning ready to focus on the kids and be a great, consistent nanny because you are refreshed, you've got all your errands done, you've had time for yourself.

A parent works nine hours just like you do. How do you feel at the end of your work day? Probably tired and like you need a break. Most people are not as good at their jobs, at being consistent, when they're tired. Parents come home feeling like that, but then they spend another three hours getting dinner on the table, playing with kids, giving them a bath, putting them to bed. They probably get an hour truly to themselves if they go to bed at like 10pm. On the weekends, they do your job. And not just from 8-5. They do it from 6:30am to 9pm both days. They do it while they're trying toget stuff done around the house and run errands. Again, they might get an hour or two to themselves on the weekend.

I'm not saying all this is impossible or complaining that I have it so hard. I love being a mom and I love working. I'm asking you to see how setting boundaries, being consistent, having them clean up every single time, etc is difficult when you're trying to do all that stuff on your second shift after you've already worked all day and when you get very little time to yourself.

I'm not saying we don't do it. I'm not saying let your kids run wild. I'm saying its difficult to do and asking nannies to have a little compassion if their MB doesn't run a ship quite as tight as you do.

+1000000. I could not agree with this more. I'm not saying this excuses OP's MBs behavior or absolves her from being a parent to her children. I work long hours and still come home and am consistent with my children and they are just as well behaved around me as they are with the nanny. I try VERY hard to keep it that way because as a PP said, why have children if you aren't going to put the work in to raise them properly. HOWEVER, unless they have children themselves, no nanny will every understand that being a nanny is NOT the same as being a parent. Don't get me wrong, nannies work extremely hard and deserve every minute of their time off, but it is just that: time off. When a nanny goes home her time is her own until she comes back to work. She has weekends to feel refreshed and ready to start a new work week. She can sleep in on weekends and relax and run errands without dragging children with her. As a parent I haven't had a good night sleep in literally years. Yes, it was my choice to have children and I wouldn't change that for the world but I do think nannies could try to be a little more compassionate to parents. Being a nanny is not the same.

Pity the live-in nanny who doesn't get to sleep in on the weekends. She may even get her wages reduced for that privilege if she's not so bright.

Irrelevant to the conversation.

You're such a poor reader and a control freak to. You missed where the previous poster said that nannies get to sleep in on the weekends.

I'm the PP you are talking about and I think it's pretty obvious I was not talking about live-in nannies since the OP is not a live-in nanny. Don't try to blame other people because your attempt at stirring up controversy didn't work.

[Anonymous]

Why is it the assumption that nannies don't have kids? Many of us do have kids, and personally I don't use the fact that I worked all day to be a lazy parent. It may be hard some times but this is about what's best for your kids. Having rules, respecting boundaries, and following directions are important for a peaceful home life, but are equally important life skills. I use the fact that I'm tired at the end of the day to motivate me to teach my children responsibility and independence. From a young age they knew the rules and we were consistent. They had responsibilities and there was no crying about the blue plate or whatever. Nonsense. OP should be compassionate? Lol. Why do we need to show compassion because someone CHOSE to have kids and a career. I'll save my compassion for people with actual problems, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it the assumption that nannies don't have kids? Many of us do have kids, and personally I don't use the fact that I worked all day to be a lazy parent. It may be hard some times but this is about what's best for your kids. Having rules, respecting boundaries, and following directions are important for a peaceful home life, but are equally important life skills. I use the fact that I'm tired at the end of the day to motivate me to teach my children responsibility and independence. From a young age they knew the rules and we were consistent. They had responsibilities and there was no crying about the blue plate or whatever. Nonsense. OP should be compassionate? Lol. Why do we need to show compassion because someone CHOSE to have kids and a career. I'll save my compassion for people with actual problems, thanks.

13:39 again. First of all, I didn't say all nannies don't have children. I said specifically "unless nannies have children." Secondly, why can't you have compassion? As I already said, I'm in a similar situation to you, I have a career AND I manage to be a parent who can be consistent and have happy, well behaved children. But that doesn't stop me from having compassion for people who can't do it all. It's easy to be annoyed and get angry but the people you are annoyed with don't care what you think and it isn't healthy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it the assumption that nannies don't have kids? Many of us do have kids, and personally I don't use the fact that I worked all day to be a lazy parent. It may be hard some times but this is about what's best for your kids. Having rules, respecting boundaries, and following directions are important for a peaceful home life, but are equally important life skills. I use the fact that I'm tired at the end of the day to motivate me to teach my children responsibility and independence. From a young age they knew the rules and we were consistent. They had responsibilities and there was no crying about the blue plate or whatever. Nonsense. OP should be compassionate? Lol. Why do we need to show compassion because someone CHOSE to have kids and a career. I'll save my compassion for people with actual problems, thanks.

13:39 again. First of all, I didn't say all nannies don't have children. I said specifically "unless nannies have children." Secondly, why can't you have compassion? As I already said, I'm in a similar situation to you, I have a career AND I manage to be a parent who can be consistent and have happy, well behaved children. But that doesn't stop me from having compassion for people who can't do it all. It's easy to be annoyed and get angry but the people you are annoyed with don't care what you think and it isn't healthy for you.

Where did I say I was annoyed? I frankly don't give 2 shits. I don't work for people who can't be consistent or who don't care enough about their kids to be present in body and mind. I don't have compassion because its not a problem. Having kids to take care of is not a problem, it was a decision you made. I have compassion for people who are hungry, homeless, disease ridden, are abused, etc. not for people who have children and especially those who have children and hire a nanny who fulfills the kid's every need aside from provide supervision in the evenings. What else is left to do really besides follow through on the boundaries your nanny sets during the day. Compassion? Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it the assumption that nannies don't have kids? Many of us do have kids, and personally I don't use the fact that I worked all day to be a lazy parent. It may be hard some times but this is about what's best for your kids. Having rules, respecting boundaries, and following directions are important for a peaceful home life, but are equally important life skills. I use the fact that I'm tired at the end of the day to motivate me to teach my children responsibility and independence. From a young age they knew the rules and we were consistent. They had responsibilities and there was no crying about the blue plate or whatever. Nonsense. OP should be compassionate? Lol. Why do we need to show compassion because someone CHOSE to have kids and a career. I'll save my compassion for people with actual problems, thanks.

13:39 again. First of all, I didn't say all nannies don't have children. I said specifically "unless nannies have children." Secondly, why can't you have compassion? As I already said, I'm in a similar situation to you, I have a career AND I manage to be a parent who can be consistent and have happy, well behaved children. But that doesn't stop me from having compassion for people who can't do it all. It's easy to be annoyed and get angry but the people you are annoyed with don't care what you think and it isn't healthy for you.

Where did I say I was annoyed? I frankly don't give 2 shits. I don't work for people who can't be consistent or who don't care enough about their kids to be present in body and mind. I don't have compassion because its not a problem. Having kids to take care of is not a problem, it was a decision you made. I have compassion for people who are hungry, homeless, disease ridden, are abused, etc. not for people who have children and especially those who have children and hire a nanny who fulfills the kid's every need aside from provide supervision in the evenings. What else is left to do really besides follow through on the boundaries your nanny sets during the day. Compassion? Give me a break.

Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Why is it the assumption that nannies don't have kids? Many of us do have kids, and personally I don't use the fact that I worked all day to be a lazy parent. It may be hard some times but this is about what's best for your kids. Having rules, respecting boundaries, and following directions are important for a peaceful home life, but are equally important life skills. I use the fact that I'm tired at the end of the day to motivate me to teach my children responsibility and independence. From a young age they knew the rules and we were consistent. They had responsibilities and there was no crying about the blue plate or whatever. Nonsense. OP should be compassionate? Lol. Why do we need to show compassion because someone CHOSE to have kids and a career. I'll save my compassion for people with actual problems, thanks.


13:39 again. First of all, I didn't say all nannies don't have children. I said specifically "unless nannies have children." Secondly, why can't you have compassion? As I already said, I'm in a similar situation to you, I have a career AND I manage to be a parent who can be consistent and have happy, well behaved children. But that doesn't stop me from having compassion for people who can't do it all. It's easy to be annoyed and get angry but the people you are annoyed with don't care what you think and it isn't healthy for you.


Where did I say I was annoyed? I frankly don't give 2 shits. I don't work for people who can't be consistent or who don't care enough about their kids to be present in body and mind. I don't have compassion because its not a problem. Having kids to take care of is not a problem, it was a decision you made. I have compassion for people who are hungry, homeless, disease ridden, are abused, etc. not for people who have children and especially those who have children and hire a nanny who fulfills the kid's every need aside from provide supervision in the evenings. What else is left to do really besides follow through on the boundaries your nanny sets during the day. Compassion? Give me a break.

Honestly, you need a new line of work. You should not be working with families or children.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I am affectionate and loving. I don't say things meanly, I am not that strict I just have rules that make everything run smoothly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I'm not defending failing to parent your kids. You missed my point though. If a nanny is with the kids five days a week for nine hours a day, I completely agree that that is the majority of the waking hours for those days. The parents are working for those nine hours too. Asduming you don't have kids yourself, then at the end of your nine hours, you get to go home and spend four of five hours on your own, sleep through the night, wake up and get showered and dressed on your own. On the weekends, you sleep until whenever you want, relax, run your errands, go out with friends if you want to. You show up Monday morning ready to focus on the kids and be a great, consistent nanny because you are refreshed, you've got all your errands done, you've had time for yourself.

A parent works nine hours just like you do. How do you feel at the end of your work day? Probably tired and like you need a break. Most people are not as good at their jobs, at being consistent, when they're tired. Parents come home feeling like that, but then they spend another three hours getting dinner on the table, playing with kids, giving them a bath, putting them to bed. They probably get an hour truly to themselves if they go to bed at like 10pm. On the weekends, they do your job. And not just from 8-5. They do it from 6:30am to 9pm both days. They do it while they're trying toget stuff done around the house and run errands. Again, they might get an hour or two to themselves on the weekend.

I'm not saying all this is impossible or complaining that I have it so hard. I love being a mom and I love working. I'm asking you to see how setting boundaries, being consistent, having them clean up every single time, etc is difficult when you're trying to do all that stuff on your second shift after you've already worked all day and when you get very little time to yourself.

I'm not saying we don't do it. I'm not saying let your kids run wild. I'm saying its difficult to do and asking nannies to have a little compassion if their MB doesn't run a ship quite as tight as you do.

+1000000. I could not agree with this more. I'm not saying this excuses OP's MBs behavior or absolves her from being a parent to her children. I work long hours and still come home and am consistent with my children and they are just as well behaved around me as they are with the nanny. I try VERY hard to keep it that way because as a PP said, why have children if you aren't going to put the work in to raise them properly. HOWEVER, unless they have children themselves, no nanny will every understand that being a nanny is NOT the same as being a parent. Don't get me wrong, nannies work extremely hard and deserve every minute of their time off, but it is just that: time off. When a nanny goes home her time is her own until she comes back to work. She has weekends to feel refreshed and ready to start a new work week. She can sleep in on weekends and relax and run errands without dragging children with her. As a parent I haven't had a good night sleep in literally years. Yes, it was my choice to have children and I wouldn't change that for the world but I do think nannies could try to be a little more compassionate to parents. Being a nanny is not the same.

Pity the live-in nanny who doesn't get to sleep in on the weekends. She may even get her wages reduced for that privilege if she's not so bright.

Irrelevant to the conversation.

You're such a poor reader and a control freak to. You missed where the previous poster said that nannies get to sleep in on the weekends.

I'm the PP you are talking about and I think it's pretty obvious I was not talking about live-in nannies since the OP is not a live-in nanny. Don't try to blame other people because your attempt at stirring up controversy didn't work.

Irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I am affectionate and loving. I don't say things meanly, I am not that strict I just have rules that make everything run smoothly.

Ignore the bitter mb here. She's beyond hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I am affectionate and loving. I don't say things meanly, I am not that strict I just have rules that make everything run smoothly.

You're fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Why is it the assumption that nannies don't have kids? Many of us do have kids, and personally I don't use the fact that I worked all day to be a lazy parent. It may be hard some times but this is about what's best for your kids. Having rules, respecting boundaries, and following directions are important for a peaceful home life, but are equally important life skills. I use the fact that I'm tired at the end of the day to motivate me to teach my children responsibility and independence. From a young age they knew the rules and we were consistent. They had responsibilities and there was no crying about the blue plate or whatever. Nonsense. OP should be compassionate? Lol. Why do we need to show compassion because someone CHOSE to have kids and a career. I'll save my compassion for people with actual problems, thanks.


13:39 again. First of all, I didn't say all nannies don't have children. I said specifically "unless nannies have children." Secondly, why can't you have compassion? As I already said, I'm in a similar situation to you, I have a career AND I manage to be a parent who can be consistent and have happy, well behaved children. But that doesn't stop me from having compassion for people who can't do it all. It's easy to be annoyed and get angry but the people you are annoyed with don't care what you think and it isn't healthy for you.


Where did I say I was annoyed? I frankly don't give 2 shits. I don't work for people who can't be consistent or who don't care enough about their kids to be present in body and mind. I don't have compassion because its not a problem. Having kids to take care of is not a problem, it was a decision you made. I have compassion for people who are hungry, homeless, disease ridden, are abused, etc. not for people who have children and especially those who have children and hire a nanny who fulfills the kid's every need aside from provide supervision in the evenings. What else is left to do really besides follow through on the boundaries your nanny sets during the day. Compassion? Give me a break.

Honestly, you need a new line of work. You should not be working with families or children.

And why is that exactly? Because I hold people, parents especially, to a high standard? Because I choose to work for parents that have the "energy" to be parents even though they work, wah? Because I don't make excuses for parents? Really, what did I say that was so awful that would make me a bad caregiver? If anything, I'm an advocate for your children, and it makes you uncomfortable that some people don't buy your BS. You chose to have kids, you chose to have a career, all well and good, but you don't get to now choose to shirk your parent duties because your career makes you tired.