House Rules?

[Anonymous]

I think it is so rude to have guests take off their shoes! A nanny, fine, but not guests. I was invited to a christmas party and the host asked everyone to take off their shoes, it was rude and weird. To top it off, she had her new heals ON!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5:55 who thinks it is totally o vious to automatically take your shoes off and even rude if you do not - where did you grow up? Not a snarky question. I am the earlier PP who said it is up to hosts to offer for you to take them off. Although if it a friend who I know keeps shoes off then of course I will automatically do it. Admittedly in this area I do try to remember to ask more often and in my house we try to leave them off but are not super religious about it. But in the OA suburbs where my family is from it would have been really unusual to take them off unless they were specifically muddy/snowy. I wonder if some of the posters who think this is so super obvious come from other countries or else maybe more urban areas. I will concede that no shoes is practically the norm in this area but I think that is far from universal in the US and of course DC area attracts people from all over the country.

Just to be clear, I never said to automatically take your shoes off. I said it is polite to ASK. I grew up in both Canada and the US, but my parents were born in Europe and my grandparents were born in other European countries as well. I currently live in a large city and there are plenty of trees that drop sticky sap or fruits/berries on the ground so walking on the sidewalks can be pretty nasty. My current house is pretty "shoes on" because we have mostly hardwood and stone tile floors, other than my bedroom and the home office next to it which have carpet (both are downstairs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it humorous when parents make a "point" about how ridiculous the concept is of a nanny feeling entitled to a paid 3-4 hour "break" when in your job that would never go down since you work your darndest doing everything you can at every hour you can because you "have to"- but your argument is a joke because you are comparing completely different contexts. You probably sit in an air conditioned office dealing with paper work or professional people- and you most likely get compensated very nicely for it. Nannies are not in nice clean offices with socialization and professional environments- we are doing what most parents on a day to day basis don't do alone or for 8 hours straight without handing them off to the spouse, babysitter or day care provider- and I'm sure you are on your computer, watching tv or keeping busy while the children play alone. But don't you know that a nanny can't do what parents do since we are being paid?

I highly doubt on weekends you spend 8-10 hours straight- alone with your kids in the house on a schedule that leaves every one of those hours dealing with not only being "on", happy, cheerful, and in "play" mode entertaining them, taking them to the park, doing lessons, crafts, activities, driving them, bathing them, cooking and preparing all meals and snacks- changing their diaper ever other hour, picking up their toys, putting them on the potty, dealing with crying, fighting, tantrums, messes, dirty clothes- discipline battles, carrying and lifting them every hour- immediately cleaning up after every single thing- in addition to reading, singing, listening to awful toddler tunes and explaining every single detail or answering the "why" question at every turn- all the whe remaining calm, patient because if at any minute you lose your cool you are done since these aren't your kids.

I doubt you come home everyday from work sweaty, dirty, disheveled, exhausted from running and jumping and conniving or reasoning with a migraine so big that when you come home you are too tired to do anything but sleep before it starts again the very next morning.

An hour break is not only a law but mandatory- a 3 hour break would be icing on the cake- and no one gets 4 hours so that's just stupidity on your part. Get a clue. And to bring it home- the magic pay for all this and more around here in this very prestigious area seems to surprisingly be a whopping $30,000 salary if youre lucky- which is what you pay for daycare in a year- so grow up and realize the job is hard- and no cake walk. Not many can handle it- and you should appreciate the ones that do. The woman is raising your children you jerk so show some respect.

Thank you!!! I would love to see some of these mom's try to do half of what we accomplish in a day. I go home most days exhausted, looking like a disheveled mess, covered in snot/stains and ready to just crash (but of course I can't because I have my own life to attend to). And most day's while I'm leaving, DB is putting on a movie/TV, which I am not allowed to do at all during the day. I love my job, but the notion that I sit around for hours doing nothing or that I don't deserve the hour (interrupted usually) that I take to eat lunch and read a book is just absurd and insulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it humorous when parents make a "point" about how ridiculous the concept is of a nanny feeling entitled to a paid 3-4 hour "break" when in your job that would never go down since you work your darndest doing everything you can at every hour you can because you "have to"- but your argument is a joke because you are comparing completely different contexts. You probably sit in an air conditioned office dealing with paper work or professional people- and you most likely get compensated very nicely for it. Nannies are not in nice clean offices with socialization and professional environments- we are doing what most parents on a day to day basis don't do alone or for 8 hours straight without handing them off to the spouse, babysitter or day care provider- and I'm sure you are on your computer, watching tv or keeping busy while the children play alone. But don't you know that a nanny can't do what parents do since we are being paid?

I highly doubt on weekends you spend 8-10 hours straight- alone with your kids in the house on a schedule that leaves every one of those hours dealing with not only being "on", happy, cheerful, and in "play" mode entertaining them, taking them to the park, doing lessons, crafts, activities, driving them, bathing them, cooking and preparing all meals and snacks- changing their diaper ever other hour, picking up their toys, putting them on the potty, dealing with crying, fighting, tantrums, messes, dirty clothes- discipline battles, carrying and lifting them every hour- immediately cleaning up after every single thing- in addition to reading, singing, listening to awful toddler tunes and explaining every single detail or answering the "why" question at every turn- all the whe remaining calm, patient because if at any minute you lose your cool you are done since these aren't your kids.

I doubt you come home everyday from work sweaty, dirty, disheveled, exhausted from running and jumping and conniving or reasoning with a migraine so big that when you come home you are too tired to do anything but sleep before it starts again the very next morning.

An hour break is not only a law but mandatory- a 3 hour break would be icing on the cake- and no one gets 4 hours so that's just stupidity on your part. Get a clue. And to bring it home- the magic pay for all this and more around here in this very prestigious area seems to surprisingly be a whopping $30,000 salary if youre lucky- which is what you pay for daycare in a year- so grow up and realize the job is hard- and no cake walk. Not many can handle it- and you should appreciate the ones that do. The woman is raising your children you jerk so show some respect.

1+
Amen!!


But to comment on taking shoes off, I think people need to take off their shoes at the front door. I always offer to take them off unless told otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it humorous when parents make a "point" about how ridiculous the concept is of a nanny feeling entitled to a paid 3-4 hour "break" when in your job that would never go down since you work your darndest doing everything you can at every hour you can because you "have to"- but your argument is a joke because you are comparing completely different contexts. You probably sit in an air conditioned office dealing with paper work or professional people- and you most likely get compensated very nicely for it. Nannies are not in nice clean offices with socialization and professional environments- we are doing what most parents on a day to day basis don't do alone or for 8 hours straight without handing them off to the spouse, babysitter or day care provider- and I'm sure you are on your computer, watching tv or keeping busy while the children play alone. But don't you know that a nanny can't do what parents do since we are being paid?

I highly doubt on weekends you spend 8-10 hours straight- alone with your kids in the house on a schedule that leaves every one of those hours dealing with not only being "on", happy, cheerful, and in "play" mode entertaining them, taking them to the park, doing lessons, crafts, activities, driving them, bathing them, cooking and preparing all meals and snacks- changing their diaper ever other hour, picking up their toys, putting them on the potty, dealing with crying, fighting, tantrums, messes, dirty clothes- discipline battles, carrying and lifting them every hour- immediately cleaning up after every single thing- in addition to reading, singing, listening to awful toddler tunes and explaining every single detail or answering the "why" question at every turn- all the whe remaining calm, patient because if at any minute you lose your cool you are done since these aren't your kids.

I doubt you come home everyday from work sweaty, dirty, disheveled, exhausted from running and jumping and conniving or reasoning with a migraine so big that when you come home you are too tired to do anything but sleep before it starts again the very next morning.

An hour break is not only a law but mandatory- a 3 hour break would be icing on the cake- and no one gets 4 hours so that's just stupidity on your part. Get a clue. And to bring it home- the magic pay for all this and more around here in this very prestigious area seems to surprisingly be a whopping $30,000 salary if youre lucky- which is what you pay for daycare in a year- so grow up and realize the job is hard- and no cake walk. Not many can handle it- and you should appreciate the ones that do. The woman is raising your children you jerk so show some respect.

1+
Amen!!


But to comment on taking shoes off, I think people need to take off their shoes at the front door. I always offer to take them off unless told otherwise.

+1

[Anonymous]

We don't wear shoes in the house, and we keep them by the front door (picked up the habit in Asia), but I still find it odd when guests ask if they should take their shoes off. It's obvious they think we're a no-shoes household, but I grew up in a more formal area of the country (deep south), and I would never dream of taking my shoes off in someone else's house. It feels like getting undressed! I don't want the nanny to take hers off, though. We have carpet.

[Anonymous]

I've been a live-in for several years and sometimes I am more comfortable working with shoes on than barefoot, whether it is a shoes on or off household. I tend to have a pair of "indoor" shoes that I wear. I can run outside really quickly if I need to (instead of barefoot or having to grab shoes from my room), but normally they stay inside only and are clean on the bottom so that I am not tracking dirt around everywhere. It's a good solution for me and I have never had a problem with that in a "no shoes inside" household. This could also work for a live-out nanny, she could leave the pair in her car or at the house for inside use only and that would solve the parents not wanting shoes inside or those that would prefer not to ask nanny to take her shoes off (thinking it would be rude to ask her to do that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't wear shoes in the house, and we keep them by the front door (picked up the habit in Asia), but I still find it odd when guests ask if they should take their shoes off. It's obvious they think we're a no-shoes household, but I grew up in a more formal area of the country (deep south), and I would never dream of taking my shoes off in someone else's house. It feels like getting undressed! I don't want the nanny to take hers off, though. We have carpet.

I'm from the south too and it would never cross my mind to take my shoes off at someone's home. I'm glad I'm not the only one that didn't realize that it was common courtesy

[Anonymous]

Write them beofre she arrives.