Charge walked in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When do the parents get to be parents?

What do you mean?

-OP

It's normally the territory of the parents to be awaken in the night by their children. I'd feel odd if my child went to the nanny's bedroom for help in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate your concern PP! I am working with him on not wetting the bed as much (he used to do it every night... about 6 months ago).

I usually have an open door policy with him in regard to my room. For example, the other day he came in from swim class with his dad and came up to my room and I was asleep. He came and laid on my bed next to me and fell asleep. I noticed him about an hr later when I got up to get ready to go out that night. Other times in my "off" hours he will come up to my room and watch a movie with me on my laptop or just sit with me and read a book. I guess it is good that he feels comfortable with me, but I do know that he needs to be better about respecting boundaries.

Also, as to the overnight guests issue, normally I leave for the night if I am going to be with friends and go to either my BF's place or wherever, so that him barging in isn't really a concern. This was really only the second time I had used my overnight guest privilege.

From what I have read, it seems you would have an easier time setting boundaries with him if you didn't have an open door policy. I think that might confuse him at his age, that at times it is perfectly ok for him to come to your room when he wants to, and at other times it is not (or preferred he doesn't). I think it would be much easier to get him to learn boundaries first, and then as he gets older and has already been good about following them, to then lessen the restrictions to allow him to come up between certain hours etc.

I'm also not sure that as a mom I would want to have my child wander upstairs to my nannies room and take a nap with her while she is already sleeping and not know where he is during this time, or to have him just go upstairs and watch tv with you etc when I would be expecting him to be playing with his toys, or interacting with the rest of the family downstairs instead of up in the attic away from everyone and spending time with the nanny on her off duty hours.

[Anonymous]

I would make signs, OP. I used to have them. One was backed with red construction paper and the sign itself had a large stop sign on it and said "____ is busy". The other had green construction paper with a picture of a stick figure sprinting through a green traffic light and it said "___ can play!"

Something like that will help with the boundary issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate your concern PP! I am working with him on not wetting the bed as much (he used to do it every night... about 6 months ago).

I usually have an open door policy with him in regard to my room. For example, the other day he came in from swim class with his dad and came up to my room and I was asleep. He came and laid on my bed next to me and fell asleep. I noticed him about an hr later when I got up to get ready to go out that night. Other times in my "off" hours he will come up to my room and watch a movie with me on my laptop or just sit with me and read a book. I guess it is good that he feels comfortable with me, but I do know that he needs to be better about respecting boundaries.

Also, as to the overnight guests issue, normally I leave for the night if I am going to be with friends and go to either my BF's place or wherever, so that him barging in isn't really a concern. This was really only the second time I had used my overnight guest privilege.

From what I have read, it seems you would have an easier time setting boundaries with him if you didn't have an open door policy. I think that might confuse him at his age, that at times it is perfectly ok for him to come to your room when he wants to, and at other times it is not (or preferred he doesn't). I think it would be much easier to get him to learn boundaries first, and then as he gets older and has already been good about following them, to then lessen the restrictions to allow him to come up between certain hours etc.

I'm also not sure that as a mom I would want to have my child wander upstairs to my nannies room and take a nap with her while she is already sleeping and not know where he is during this time, or to have him just go upstairs and watch tv with you etc when I would be expecting him to be playing with his toys, or interacting with the rest of the family downstairs instead of up in the attic away from everyone and spending time with the nanny on her off duty hours.

He is an only, his parents are good providers but often ignore him while he is with them. They are huge advocates of independent play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would make signs, OP. I used to have them. One was backed with red construction paper and the sign itself had a large stop sign on it and said "____ is busy". The other had green construction paper with a picture of a stick figure sprinting through a green traffic light and it said "___ can play!"

Something like that will help with the boundary issue.

good idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate your concern PP! I am working with him on not wetting the bed as much (he used to do it every night... about 6 months ago).

I usually have an open door policy with him in regard to my room. For example, the other day he came in from swim class with his dad and came up to my room and I was asleep. He came and laid on my bed next to me and fell asleep. I noticed him about an hr later when I got up to get ready to go out that night. Other times in my "off" hours he will come up to my room and watch a movie with me on my laptop or just sit with me and read a book. I guess it is good that he feels comfortable with me, but I do know that he needs to be better about respecting boundaries.

Also, as to the overnight guests issue, normally I leave for the night if I am going to be with friends and go to either my BF's place or wherever, so that him barging in isn't really a concern. This was really only the second time I had used my overnight guest privilege.

From what I have read, it seems you would have an easier time setting boundaries with him if you didn't have an open door policy. I think that might confuse him at his age, that at times it is perfectly ok for him to come to your room when he wants to, and at other times it is not (or preferred he doesn't). I think it would be much easier to get him to learn boundaries first, and then as he gets older and has already been good about following them, to then lessen the restrictions to allow him to come up between certain hours etc.

I'm also not sure that as a mom I would want to have my child wander upstairs to my nannies room and take a nap with her while she is already sleeping and not know where he is during this time, or to have him just go upstairs and watch tv with you etc when I would be expecting him to be playing with his toys, or interacting with the rest of the family downstairs instead of up in the attic away from everyone and spending time with the nanny on her off duty hours.

does it matter?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't mention it unless she does.

If she does, then just casually say he accidentally walked in on you having sex and that you would like to have a lock put on the door if that would be okay with her.

Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Umm this post is 5 months old I'm going to assume that the problem has already been solved