Getting a little discouraged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny Deb - that's the first time on these boards I've seen anyone articulate what constitutes an appropriate background to demand $30/hr. If I required those credentials (and I can understand how/why some employers might) I would certainly expect to pay at the very top end of the range.

Really helpful to see it spelled out so clearly.

It is helpful to see. What tends to get under my skin is that some of us really don't need or want those advanced credentials. I had a nanny for my infant for 18 months. I really didn't want an educator. Someone without an advanced degree, or without perfect English was no less likely to be the perfect fit for our needs. I wanted someone caring, hardworking, and with good common sense. It would have been silly to pay twice as much for advanced teaching skills when they weren't required. However, you'll see again and again here how people not willing to pay that much are settling or willing to take a bargain. It's just not the case.

It' almost comical that if you go to the General Parenting part of this forum, the main sentient is "let them be kids." More play, exploration, less curriculum and learning. (For the preschool set, certainly) So it was actually our preference that our nanny be loving and attentive, not concerned with education any specialized developmental activities.

[Anonymous]

The "right" education at every stage of development, varies with each individual.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, I don't imagine that my educational philosophy, would necessarily be the same as yours. What I do is highly specialized, so it certainly would not be for everyone.

[Anonymous]

17:24 - I'm the poster you quoted, and I totally agree with the points you made (and approach you took re a nanny for your infant.)

We would get along!

[Anonymous]

More often, I've found that the nannies requesting above-market rates are either young, inexperienced and trying to keep up with what they heard Susie on the playground earns, or long-term nannies who think that experience in the job necessarily makes them exceptional. In both cases, they are hoping to prey on new parents who don't know what market rates are and are scared of not doing right by their kid. And they usually have PITA personalities.

I do think you sacrifice quality--or at least credentials such as college education, maturity (i.e. not a student), English language fluency, a couple years experience, and the legal right to work in the US--in order to pay less than $15 per hour. But the best nannies I've encountered are squarely in the $15 to $18 range (depending mostly on number of kids and total work hours) and they are reasonable about things housekeeping and demands for PTO.

+1 The obnoxious one line nanny poster on every thread is the last person most people would ever want to hire.

I also agree with the post that most parents neither need or want someone who is going to play teacher and give their child a loose curriculum. This doesn't lead to future academic success and ironically is counter to recommendatios from child development studies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "right" education at every stage of development, varies with each individual.

Every moment is a teaching moment, if you know what you're doing.



One would think this would be obvious to most of you, but apparently not:

We are not referring to academics here.

[Anonymous]

I expect my nanny to teach my 14 month old all day long. I want her to learn how that she is going up when she goes upstairs, and down when she is going downstairs and that the zipper on her coat also goes up and down. I want her to learn what noise a dog makes, and that the sound in the backyard is a bird. I want her to learn that the carrots on her plate are orange and yummy and the strawberries she'll eat for dessert are red and yummy, but the lint on the floor is yucky and not for putting in her mouth because it is dirty. I basically want the nanny to walk around all day long naming and explaining the things that my daughter seems interested in (e.g., "Yes, look at the clock! Wow, let's see what we can put in this jar"), because that's appropriate education at this point. It doesn't take a teaching certificate to do this, but it is amazing to me how few nannies have the instinct and energy for this. There is almost no correlation between talent for this and rate/experience. Some of the most experienced career nannies I've encountered see their role as literally "watching" the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect my nanny to teach my 14 month old all day long. I want her to learn how that she is going up when she goes upstairs, and down when she is going downstairs and that the zipper on her coat also goes up and down. I want her to learn what noise a dog makes, and that the sound in the backyard is a bird. I want her to learn that the carrots on her plate are orange and yummy and the strawberries she'll eat for dessert are red and yummy, but the lint on the floor is yucky and not for putting in her mouth because it is dirty. I basically want the nanny to walk around all day long naming and explaining the things that my daughter seems interested in (e.g., "Yes, look at the clock! Wow, let's see what we can put in this jar"), because that's appropriate education at this point. It doesn't take a teaching certificate to do this, but it is amazing to me how few nannies have the instinct and energy for this. There is almost no correlation between talent for this and rate/experience. Some of the most experienced career nannies I've encountered see their role as literally "watching" the kids.

THIS x10000000

It does not require a teaching degree to do this, of course, but someone who has taught before is more likely to know from experience how to turn everything into a teachable moment. Obviously not all ex-teachers are good nannies, and a teaching degree is not the be-all-end-all, but there is a reason that qualification is desirable even in an infant nanny - and besides, infants grow up and if you want someone long-term, they'd better be ready to find fun and creative ways to teach your 3yo his numbers and letters and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect my nanny to teach my 14 month old all day long. I want her to learn how that she is going up when she goes upstairs, and down when she is going downstairs and that the zipper on her coat also goes up and down. I want her to learn what noise a dog makes, and that the sound in the backyard is a bird. I want her to learn that the carrots on her plate are orange and yummy and the strawberries she'll eat for dessert are red and yummy, but the lint on the floor is yucky and not for putting in her mouth because it is dirty. I basically want the nanny to walk around all day long naming and explaining the things that my daughter seems interested in (e.g., "Yes, look at the clock! Wow, let's see what we can put in this jar"), because that's appropriate education at this point. It doesn't take a teaching certificate to do this, but it is amazing to me how few nannies have the instinct and energy for this. There is almost no correlation between talent for this and rate/experience. Some of the most experienced career nannies I've encountered see their role as literally "watching" the kids.

Is it just your nanny who has diarrhea of the mouth, or do you have it to? You trail your child all day running your mouths non-stop? You both need a bit of instruction to learn that your poor child is in desparate need of some quite time; time to be allowed to do a little of her own thinking and wondering, without a chatterbox to jump in at every turn. There's a very fine line to knowing just the right amount of adult commentary, without going overboard. A significant part of this "knowing" comes with the ability to astutely observe your child's development.

By the way, it's most common for my charges to be speaking two-word sentences by 18 months. Of course such children have no screen time, with their parents or with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect my nanny to teach my 14 month old all day long. I want her to learn how that she is going up when she goes upstairs, and down when she is going downstairs and that the zipper on her coat also goes up and down. I want her to learn what noise a dog makes, and that the sound in the backyard is a bird. I want her to learn that the carrots on her plate are orange and yummy and the strawberries she'll eat for dessert are red and yummy, but the lint on the floor is yucky and not for putting in her mouth because it is dirty. I basically want the nanny to walk around all day long naming and explaining the things that my daughter seems interested in (e.g., "Yes, look at the clock! Wow, let's see what we can put in this jar"), because that's appropriate education at this point. It doesn't take a teaching certificate to do this, but it is amazing to me how few nannies have the instinct and energy for this. There is almost no correlation between talent for this and rate/experience. Some of the most experienced career nannies I've encountered see their role as literally "watching" the kids.

Is it just your nanny who has diarrhea of the mouth, or do you have it to? You trail your child all day running your mouths non-stop? You both need a bit of instruction to learn that your poor child is in desparate need of some quite time; time to be allowed to do a little of her own thinking and wondering, without a chatterbox to jump in at every turn. There's a very fine line to knowing just the right amount of adult commentary, without going overboard. A significant part of this "knowing" comes with the ability to astutely observe your child's development.

By the way, it's most common for my charges to be speaking two-word sentences by 18 months. Of course such children have no screen time, with their parents or with me.

Of course children require quiet time.

They also require exposure to a frequent and varied vocabulary. Narrating, "conversing," singing, labeling, naming are all RECOMMENDED for language development. Do your reading maybe.

[Anonymous]

Duh.
The point, Einstein, is that children require SOME quiet time, as opposed to what pp was describing her brilliant nanny was doing.

[Anonymous]

22:46, get a grip. Of course children need quiet/independent time, with the amount varying by age, and any moderately talented nanny or parent knows when to let the child explore on her own. But your cute "diarreah of the mouth" comment belies your lack of background in child development. If you are not going out of your way to surround your charges with language and help interpreting the world around them, you're not the nanny that educated DC parents want. But I understand where you're coming from--consciously teaching your charges might cut into your soap opera and Iphone time, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:46, get a grip. Of course children need quiet/independent time, with the amount varying by age, and any moderately talented nanny or parent knows when to let the child explore on her own. But your cute "diarreah of the mouth" comment belies your lack of background in child development. If you are not going out of your way to surround your charges with language and help interpreting the world around them, you're not the nanny that educated DC parents want. But I understand where you're coming from--consciously teaching your charges might cut into your soap opera and Iphone time, huh?

+1

[Anonymous]

I see lots of parents and nannies who don't know how to shut up for a few minutes, including a few around here.

[nannydebsays]

Exposure to language begets language development. I do a lot of narrating, conversing, reading, singing, etc, along with quiet play time.

And my charges generally aren't saying 2 word sentences at 18 months, like a PP's charges apparently do. (Yes, you, PP with the "diarrhea" comment!)

Nope, they're speaking in full sentences - 5+ words at around that age. "I want to play blocks now!"

And at 2 they say things like "Christmas music makes my heart feel love."

And at 3 they use words like "reciprocate" correctly and in context with our discussions.

So I guess I am doing something right, huh?